Insignia

Joshua was driving one hundred miles per hour down the dirt road. Clouds of dust were swirling around him. In front of him, the sun was peeking above the horizon. The radio was blaring rock and roll from the local station, but he was too angry to concentrate on any of that.

Joshua Marcus was a good man. Married to Amanda for five years, bearing one child, a daughter named Katie, she was four. Starting her first year of school, Joshua missed her first bus ride. He was already at work.

The building, as usual, was quiet and vacant as he enjoyed his time alone in the mornings. Turning on his coffee pot, he sat at his desk and rested his head in his hands for a moment to gather his thoughts before starting the day. Then sighed and got up to pour some coffee. The phone was loud but he answered it quickly.

“Good morning, Josh.” It was his father, Bill. “Did you call us last night?”

“Yes, I did, dad. We’ve been fighting again… I was thinking of taking a few days away, maybe I could stay with you and mom?”

“Of course, son. You know we are always welcome home. We are always here for you, whatever you need.”

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll probably be there later this evening.”

Josh said goodbye and hung up the phone. Looking at the paperwork on his desk, he rubbed his eyes and got up to get more coffee. Hearing the door unlock, he knew it was Mark, his close friend, and employee.

“Hey Josh, morning buddy. You look tired, another rough night?”

“I’m telling you, Mark, I’m at the end of my rope with her. She knows how to push my buttons. I was so mad, I slept in my truck.” Anger was building up again and his hands began to shake.

“I’m sorry, Josh, I don’t think I could put up with her. You’re more of a man than me, how do you do it?”

“Katie. If it weren’t for her, I would have been gone a long time ago. But I try to keep strong, for her. I do realize what this is doing to me, to Katie. I’m starting to think that divorce is a better option. All the fighting and arguing that she’s witnessed. I don’t know what to do anymore... I’m going to be staying at my folks place for a few days. In case you need to reach me, you have their number.”

Mark nodded his head. “Well, I have a lot of work to do, I should get started.”

“Yeah, I suppose I should too.”

The morning passed quickly as Joshua finished his paperwork. By now it was nearly noon. Outside was very hot and humid when Joshua left for lunch. The sun was bright but it appeared that a storm was closing in all around them and he could hear thunder in the distance. By the time he returned, it had already started to rain. He ran into the building, dodging the rain. There in the corner, he saw the young woman. Setting his items on the counter and shaking off, he walked up to her.

“Can I help you with something?” Joshua asked in a soft voice.

Turning to face him, she smiled. “Hi, yes. I just moved here and bought a house. There are a few repairs I need done.”

“I can help you with that. We not only sell supplies, but we also install, repair, whatever the project.”

“Do you think you could send someone for an estimate?” She asked.

“Yes, that would be fine. Do you want it done today?” Joshua asked the woman.

“I won’t be home until after four, or you could do it tomorrow morning, whatever is convenient for you.”

“I can be there around five.” Joshua offered.

“That would be fine.” She smiled and handed him a piece of paper with her address on it then walked out the door.

Watching her until she was out of sight, he looked at the piece of paper in his hand. ‘Karen Graham‘. Karen is her name, he thought then realized she must have been the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

Karen was cooking dinner when she heard the doorbell. It was the same man she talked to in the home improvement store. Opening the door she let him in then shut it behind him.

“It’s Karen, right?” He asked although he clearly remembered her name. She nodded. “I’m not early, am I?”

“No, actually, you’re right on time. Would you like something to drink?” Karen offered.

“No, thank you, I’m good.” He answered, admiring her accent. “You say you just moved here, where do you come from?” She sighed and looked down for a moment. He could tell the question made her uneasy. “I’m sorry, ma’am, I don’t mean to pry, I’m just making conversation.”

She smiled then noticed the ring on his finger. For some reason, it made her feel more at ease. “Colorado. I was born and raised there. I moved here about a month ago.”

Joshua glanced around and noticed the toys. Then he looked out the back door towards the back yard. “Do you have kids?”

“I have a son, Danny. He’s outside, probably in the mud.” She laughed slightly as she checked dinner.

“I have a daughter, her name is Katie. So where are the areas needing to be repaired?”

“Of course.” She said, leading him back into the living room. “It’s here, under the window. Probably had a severe leak, at one time. I see it’s been fixed, but the wall finally gave out from the damage.

Kneeling down, he inspected it for a minute. “This should be a fairly easy job… and a paint job and a privacy fence installed?” He said, walking towards the kitchen and to the back door. “Let me look outside for a moment to get an idea.” Looking over the house, everything seemed to be fine. Measuring the location for the fence, he gave her some samples and noticed Danny staring at him. Joshua smiled again and waved at the child. Danny smiled back, waved slightly then looked away as if being shy. They laughed.

“Danny, this is Joshua, can you say hi?” Karen spoke softly to her son. Giving a quick wave, Danny smiled and ran off. “Come on, let’s get washed up for dinner.” Karen looked at Joshua, “You’re welcome to stay for dinner?

“Now I definitely know you’re not from around here. It’s not every day I go for an estimate and get invited to dinner.” He laughed. “Thanks for the offer but I should decline.” Looking at his ring, then back at her, he sort of shook his head.

“I’m sorry, I was only trying to be hospitable.” Turning towards the stove, she attended to their dinner.

“It’s alright, let’s forget about it. You can look over those samples and call me tomorrow at the store, I will finish your estimate.”

“Great, thank you.” Turning towards him, she held out her hand as if to shake. Accepting the offer, he shook her hand.

Joshua was in a better frame of mind then he had been all day. Then he realized he was going home to face Amanda and wondered what was going to happen when he got there. Hearing his vehicle, Katie was the first to know he was home.

“Daddy, daddy!” Katie ran to him.

“How’s my Katie-bug?” Joshua liked to call her.” What did you do today?”

He held her in his arms as she explained her day to him. From the corner of his eye, he saw Amanda enter the room and turned towards her as she walked towards him. Putting Katie back on her feet, she ran off to play again. Still walking towards him, Amanda flung her arms around him.

“Josh, I’m so sorry, honey. Can you forgive me?”

Smelling the alcohol on her breath, he pushed her away. “No, not this time. It just keeps getting harder and harder to forgive you. How much do you expect me to take?” What are you going to do next? You know what, it doesn’t even matter anymore. I’m going to stay with my parents for a few days. And, I’m taking Katie with me. That way, you can get drunk and do whatever the fuck you want and neither of us has to worry about Katie.”

“No, Josh, please don’t leave me. I’m sorry, I’ll do anything, please?” Clinging to him, she pleaded.

Pushing her away, he went up the stairs. “You bastard.” She yelled, throwing a glass paperweight at him, it bounced off his shoulder and tumbled down the carpeted stairs. He merely flashed her a look of anger then disappeared into their bedroom.

Grabbing a few items and some clothes, he threw them in a suitcase then went to Katie’s room and gathered her things. Throwing the items in his truck, he came back into the house to get Katie.

Amanda was sitting on the couch, sobbing. “Please, Josh.” She pleaded one more time. “Please don’t leave me.”

Merely glancing at her, he left the house. “Do you want to go see grandma and grandpa?” He asked his daughter.

Katie got excited. “Grandma, grandpa, yes!”

The house was empty when they arrived at his parents. Unlocking the door, they went in anyway. Knowing his parents probably went out for dinner, he almost wished he would have taken Karen up on her offer. Katie had already eaten dinner at her mother’s house.

Katie ran to his parents as they entered the house. Joshua hugged them as they saw the pain and anguish in his face. His father offered to watch Katie so he could go to the barn for a ride, get some time alone to think about things. Something he needed to take the time to do. Wandering out to the barn, he found his horse, ‘Champ’ that he has owned for over ten years, since he was sixteen. It seemed like it has been forever since he has last been out here.

After a quick brushing, he threw the blanket and dusty saddle over the horse then tightened it down. Sliding the bridle in his mouth and fastening it, he led the horse out of the barn. Putting his foot in the stirrup he swung himself into the saddle, then patted the horse’s neck and kicked him slightly to get him going.

It had been years since he’s been in these woods, on the trails, although it was all still familiar to him. The sun would be gone in about five minutes. With his parents living an hour away from the city where Joshua lived, he knew it was a long drive to work, and school, but he was not going home.

After acres upon acres, he couldn’t tell how long he had ridden before coming upon the stream where he dismounted to rinse his face and let Champ drink. The moonlight shimmering on the moving water was almost mesmerizing. At that point, as he was feeling depressed, he felt a few tears fall down his face before he actually broke down and cried. Needing to do this, to soothe out his feelings, it was at that moment, he realized what he needed to do.

Climbing back on Champ, he headed home. At nearly two in the morning when he returned, the house was quiet as he changed into some shorts and a t-shirt before laying on the couch, although he had difficulty falling asleep.

Karen was up earlier than usual the following morning, having a job interview to prepare for. After dropping Danny off at daycare, she went to the hospital. It was busy but quiet as she searched for her destination. The director of nursing was a man only a few years older than herself. For some reason, she found it amazing.

Studying her credentials, he hired her, having her start the following day. Excited when she went to pick Danny up, she watched the teachers and children in the classroom and thought everything seemed to be great. Karen grabbed lunch and took Danny to the park for a while before school.

Returning home after dropping Danny off at school, there was one message on her phone. Listening to the message as she changed her clothes, it was from Joshua. She returned his call but he was out running errands. The man who answered, told her he would call her back when he returned.

Joshua went back towards his house to grab some items he had forgotten, not expecting Amanda to be home. But she was, and not alone. He didn’t recognize the other car, parked behind hers, but glanced in its windows as he walked past it towards the house. Opening the front door, he saw no one and frowned as he walked quietly through the house. Hearing noises coming from the bedroom, he swung open the bedroom door and saw her, in bed with another man. Someone that was not familiar to him.

“Who the fuck are you?” Joshua yelled, starting them.

“Oh my God, Josh.” His naked wife sat up, covering herself with the sheet.

Joshua had no idea who the man was, just that he was older, with gray hair. Walking to the man, Joshua pulled him from his bed and started punching him in the face.

“No, Josh, stop. Please stop…” Amanda tried to stop him but he pushed her back onto the bed. Blood had splattered everywhere and the man was almost unconscious before Joshua let go of him. Then he looked at Amanda, who was sitting on the bed, sobbing. “You’re nothing but a slut.” He pointed at her than flung his wedding ring. “I’m done with you, right here, right now.” Storming out, he got into his truck and left without getting the items he came for. Being so angry, he hadn’t noticed the blood all over his hands when he went back to his office.

Mark noticed his mood as soon as he walked in. “Josh…?” And saw the blood on his hands. “What happened, you look like you just killed someone.”

“I think I almost did,” Joshua responded.

“What do you mean? What happened?”

“I finally caught her. I suspected it was happening. I was right.” Joshua was trembling as he sat in his chair.

“You caught who? Amanda?” Mark assumed he knew what he was talking about.

“Yes, she was in bed, with another man. In my bed. Mark, I beat the hell out of him, right in my own fucking bedroom… I need a good divorce lawyer.”

“Josh, I’m sorry buddy, if there’s anything I can do…” Mark offered.

“No, I doubt it, but thanks.” Joshua reached up and patted his friend on the shoulder. “Enough about this, I’m at work now, it’s time to concentrate on work. Just give me a minute.” Joshua said, trying to calm down.

“By the way, some woman called for you while you were gone.” Mark handed him a piece of paper. Joshua drew in a deep breath and released it before he picked up the phone and dialed the number. After one ring, he heard Karen’s voice on the other end.

“Karen, this is Josh.”

“Yes, I tried calling you about an hour ago.” Karen stated.

“I’m sorry, I had some errands to run. Have you made a decision on the fence?”

“Yes, I’ve decided on ‘Helena’ with the light oak stain.”

Following a few quick calculations, he came up with a figure, including the price for supplies and labor, and a time limit to have the work done. She agreed upon the price and he agreed to fix the wall today. The fence and painting could be done while she was gone at work.

Joshua didn’t need any help on the small project. Looking like rain again as he headed towards Karen’s house, he hoped it would finish by the following morning so they could have a productive day at work. Looking at his watch, he waited for an answer at the door. Then there she was again, smiling.

“Come on in.” She offered.

Standing in the doorway for a moment, looking at her, he tried to figure out why he was suddenly nervous, feeling like a child. Finally, he smiled and stepped in. “I’ll probably have to leave, to pick up my daughter, but I can get started on it.”

“That’s fine, come on, I’ll give you a hand.” She said, seeing the supplies and tools in the back of his truck.

“No thanks, I can get it.” Answering her, he looked out the door.

“Come on.” Passing by him, she went out the door.

Smelling a small whiff of her perfume, he suddenly had the feeling that he shouldn’t be there right now. But he went on, carrying his tools inside. Clearing away the damaged materials, he reinforced the beams, ready to put in the new piece of drywall when she interrupted him.

“Sorry Joshua, but it’s time to go. I believe Katie probably goes to the same school, we can just ride in my car if you want. She will have fun playing with Danny.”

“Are you sure they go to the same school?”

“Shady Lane, Katie’s in head start and Danny’s in preschool… If I’m correct.”

“Yes, I guess, if you don’t mind, this should be done soon.”

Karen locked the door behind them and they both got into her car.

“So you start a new job tomorrow?” Joshua asked, making small talk. “What is it that you do?”

“I am a registered nurse. I was just hired at the local hospital.”

Joshua was surprised, although she seemed like the nurse type. “It’s good to be able to help people like that.”

“Yes, but I’ll end up being the one who sticks you with a needle, so, people don’t really think I’m helping them.”

Joshua laughed out loud. “Well, I guess your intentions are good anyways.”

The school parking lot was packed as they parked on the street, Joshua and Karen went their separate ways to get their children from their classrooms.

Katie was anxiously waiting when Joshua came to collect her. Leaving the classroom, Joshua instantly saw Amanda walking towards them and knew she was up to no good. But there was no way he would allow Katie to leave with her. Tugging on Katie’s arm, they ducked into a vacant classroom long enough for her to pass them up. Amanda didn’t see them and Katie didn’t see her. Quickly, Joshua escorted Katie out of the school and to Karen’s car, then saw Amanda exit the school, looking around, trying to find his truck. He tricked her! Hiding his face from Amanda, he also tried to hide the fact from Karen, but she was too observant.

“Is there something wrong?” Karen questioned him.

Lying his head against the back of the seat for a moment, he didn’t speak right away. Karen put the car in drive and pulled away from the curb, the silence making her uncomfortable.

“I’m sorry, Karen, that was a little awkward for me.” He finally spoke.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes…” He paused. “It’s a long story.”

Joshua looked at Katie in the back seat sitting next to Danny, she had a confused look on her face. “That’s Danny, say hi to him.” Joshua introduced them. Katie smiled and said ‘hi’. Watching in the rearview mirror, there was a long moment of silence as Karen pulled into her driveway, beside Joshua’s truck.

“Daddy’s truck.” Katie recognized his truck.

“You’re right, there’s daddy’s truck.” He praised her. “Go play with Danny and be good.”

Watching them together for a few moments, he returned to his project. By the time he finished, she had dinner ready, but she didn’t invite them. Katie did, smelling the food, complaining about being hungry.

“I’m not going to insist, Mr. Marcus but you two are more than welcome to stay for dinner.” Karen offered.

“Please call me Josh. I guess we could tonight, to make Katie happy. So, what’s for dinner?”

“Sirloin tips with egg noodles and salad.”

“Homemade?” He asked.

“Not exactly. Maybe, except for the noodles. I don’t really have time for all that.”

Calling in the children to wash up for dinner, she served portions on the children's plates, then handed one plate to Joshua as they all sat at the table.

“Wow, this is delicious. I haven’t had food this good since I moved out of my parents’ house.”

“Thank you… Doesn’t your wife cook?” She wondered.

He paused for a minute, deciding it was unnecessary to reveal anything of his personal life. “Not like this, she doesn’t. I respect a woman who knows how to cook.” He smiled at her.

After eating, the children darted back outside, to the back yard. It surprised Karen that Joshua insisted on helping her clean up. “We really appreciate the meal but I suppose we’d better be going. It’s starting to get late. Good luck with your new job tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Josh. I’m probably going to need it.”

“Oh no, I think you’ll do just fine, Karen.” Momentarily, he looked into her soft green eyes then turned to holler at Katie. “Thank you for dinner, I think our kids like playing together. My associate and I will be here first thing in the morning to start building the fence.”

“Oh yes,” Breezing by him, she reached into her purse, pulled out an envelope, and handed it to him.

“What is this?” He asked as he took it from her.

“It’s your payment.”

“Oh, but I don’t normally accept payment until the job is finished.”

“Oh, ok. I’ll just hold on to it, I guess. I’ll be leaving by seven in the morning, and won’t be here while you’re working. Will you need anything out of the house?”

“No, I shouldn’t. I guess I’ll see you sometime tomorrow.” Taking Katie by the hand, he waved at Danny as he opened the door and walked out it, stopping to look back at Karen and smile.

Karen finished cleaning up the kitchen then ran bath water for Danny and as usual, played with him while he took his bath. Then gave him a snack before putting him to bed. With the quiet evenings to herself, she enjoyed reading or watching TV. Sometimes she would sit on the porch with a cup of coffee, relaxing. Somehow this evening was different. She was wide awake and nervous. Blaming it on starting a new job, deep down, knew that wasn’t the entire reason.

Before Joshua and his associate, Jim arrived, Karen had left. Deciding to start on the fence first, by the time noon came, all the fence posts were in the ground. Giving Jim some money and the keys to his truck, Joshua asked him to get lunch. Attaching all the hinges and latches while Jim was gone, Joshua waited for him to return. After eating, they hung the fence before Joshua picked Katie up from school, bringing her to work with him. She played with Danny’s toys, scattered in the back yard, while her father worked.

Stalling time by going grocery shopping, Karen hoped Joshua would be gone by the time she returned home. But they were still there, finishing up for the day. She put all the groceries away before going into the back yard to check out their work.

“It looks great.” She complimented.

Joshua introduced her to Jim then she returned into the house to start dinner. Knocking on her back door after cleaning up and loading all his tools into the truck, he saw the door open and spoke through it.

“I just wanted to let you know we were done for the day.” He took Katie’s hand.

“Thank you again.” She responded.

“No, thank you for hiring me.” Turning to get into his truck, Joshua noticed her watching.

Closing the door behind her, she leaned against it and sighed as if she were relieved he was gone. ‘Only two more days’ she thought, then she wouldn’t have to see him again. The following morning, again, she was gone by the time they arrived. It was a Saturday and Jim brought his sixteen-year-old son to help. When Karen returned home, the front and sides of the house were completed and they were cleaning up for the day.

“I’m sorry, Karen, it’s going to take me a day longer than anticipated.”

“Do you need more money?” She asked.

“Oh no, it’s not like that.”

“Well, tomorrow is Sunday, surely you’re not working tomorrow, are you?” She asked.

“No, Sundays are Katie’s days.”

She smiled. “You have a beautiful little girl. Tell her I said hi and have a great day tomorrow.”

“Thank you, I will, you too.” Finishing, Joshua got into his truck and drove away.

Returning to his parents’ house, they took Katie to the movies. Heading to the barn to see Champ, Joshua noticed his father’s horse was down and in labor. Assisting the horse, a colt was born. Waiting for his parents to get back, he took them to the barn to show them the new foal.

Katie was instantly excited and Joshua asked her what they should name him. “He was born a day before Mother’s Day, what would you like to call him, Katie?”

Looking around, Katie saw a bird perched on the stall wall. “Birdy,” Katie replied.

“Birdy?” Joshua repeated. “Ok then, we’ll call him ‘Birdy’.”

Doreen, Joshua’s mother, took Katie back into the house as it was late and past her bedtime. After all the commotion, Joshua decided against riding. That evening, Joshua and Katie sat in the living room and watched TV together. Katie was still awake after his parents went to bed. Joshua was relaxing in a recliner when Katie crawled into his lap. Holding her closely, he closed his eyes.

The TV was off and the lights were dim when he opened his eyes. It was just past two AM, and he didn’t realize he had fallen asleep. Katie was still laying across him, asleep. In one motion, he picked up the child and stood to his feet. Carrying her up the stairs, he laid her in bed and kissed her forehead. Looking at her for a long minute before going to bed, his heartfelt whole.

The light from the sun was filtered by the curtains as Joshua opened his eyes, stretched and yawned. Hearing voices downstairs, he knew everyone else was awake. It was ten-thirty when he pulled himself out of bed, thinking it had been a long time since he’s slept that late. But he felt good, refreshed. Showering before going downstairs, he discovered there was company, friends of his parents. Shaking his father’s friend’s hand, he then, hugged his wife.

At that moment, Katie came up to him, tugging on his jeans. “Where is mommy, I want to see mommy.”

Suddenly, Joshua felt guilty. “Ok, I’ll call mommy and see if she’s home.” Excusing himself, he went into the living room to use the phone.

“Amanda, are you sober?” He asked her when she answered the phone.

“What the hell do you care, Josh, you don’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

“You’re right, I don’t. But, on the other hand, Katie wants to see you.” There was silence on the other end of the phone. “Look, Amanda. If you’re sober and can remain that way, I will bring her over. If not, let me know when you can. You do want to see her, right?” Joshua asked with harshness.

“Yes, of course, I do. I’m fine and I’ll be here all day whenever you want to come home.” She told him.

“Let’s get one thing straight right now, Amanda. I’m not coming home. I’m bringing Katie over and dropping her off. I’m not staying. That is not my home anymore. It’s definitely not my bed anymore. You made that decision for me, thank you.” Again, there was a long moment of silence. “Look, Amanda, I don’t want to fight with you. That’s not why I called. I’ll bring her over.” Without saying goodbye, he hung up.

“Mommy missed you, princess,” Amanda said as Katie jumped into her arms.

“I missed you too, mommy.” Katie ran into the house and left Joshua and Amanda standing outside.

“Look, Amanda, do you think it’s possible we can work something out with Katie? I mean instead of ugly custody battles. I’m willing to be reasonable, are you?”

“Josh, I really don’t want to do this, I don’t want to lose you.” Amanda pleaded.

“Amanda, it’s already too late for that. No matter what we decide about Katie, nothing is going to change that. You’re going to have to accept it. I know you won’t have problems finding another man, you’ve already replaced me. Unless I beat him up too bad.”

“Yes, he was pretty messed up. He was going to press charges against you but I reminded him that you were my husband and we were, after all, committing adultery. He decided not to.”

“Thanks for nothing but I could care less. I feel like he deserved it.” He snapped at her.

“Well maybe he did. Maybe you did too.” she returned.

“What? No, I’ll never understand how you think I deserved it. Look at what you have. I did that for you, no one else. It’s all yours too because I don’t want any of it. Only Katie. She is the only good that’s come from this marriage. I once thought I had everything, I was wrong. Now, I have nothing. I have to start over from the beginning. But I’ll be alright, I’ve done it once, I’ll do it again. Call me when you’re ready to get rid of her so you can drink and whore around.” As he turned to leave, anger had overcome him again and he thought he shouldn’t go home right now.

Pulling his truck up in a parking spot, he looked up at the neon sign. The sign was already flashing ‘open’, inviting the local drinkers. Inside was empty and quiet as he plopped himself on a barstool.

“Josh, that you?” He heard a familiar voice and looked up to see an old friend.

“Kevin.” Joshua shook his hand. “I’ll take a beer and a few shots of whiskey.”

Nodding his head, Kevin went to get them. Beginning with small talk, catching up on life since they were best friends in high school, Kevin showed Joshua pictures of his four-year-old twin sons. And Joshua showed him pictures of Katie.

“I married Amanda while I was still in college. I graduated, Katie was born and I’ve been working in my hardware store since. Now I need a good divorce lawyer. Amanda is an alcoholic and I can’t leave my daughter with her without worrying about her well-being. I just found my wife in bed with another man and I was so mad, I beat the hell out of him. You remember how my temper gets, I almost beat the man to death. I was so infuriated I almost couldn’t stop. I felt as if I were blaming him for all the bad things she had done and I shouldn’t have. It wasn’t entirely his fault. Hell, he probably didn’t even know she was married.” For some reason, Joshua defended him, suddenly feeling slightly guilty.”

“I wish there was something I could do for you.” Kevin was compassionate.

“As a matter of fact, there is. You can pour me another, make it a double.” Joshua said.

Talking until Joshua felt he’d had enough, Joshua said goodbye to his friend and stumbled out the door. The sunlight was bright after leaving the dim-lit bar. Holding his hands up to his face, trying to shade the sun, his eyes locked, and he stopped when he saw Karen across the street. In one hand, she held Danny’s hand. In the other, she held a few plastic grocery bags. As they came towards him, crossing the street, Joshua stood and watched. Continuously, she kept looking both ways and hadn’t noticed Joshua until she was almost standing directly in front of him. Looking up and into his dark eyes, she stopped, taken by surprise.

Joshua was smiling at her. “Hi.” He finally said.

“Hi.” She returned, trying to pull a few strands of blonde hair from her face. “What are you doing here?”

“I was just leaving the bar…” he pointed, “thinking about getting a bite. Care to join me?”

She could smell the alcohol on his breath and tried to refuse his offer. “I’m sorry, I really can’t afford it right now.”

“My treat. Please, I could use the company.” He implored.

She paused before accepting. “Where do you want to go?”

“It’s up to you. Do you mind driving, I don’t think I should right now.” He asked.

Promptly, she agreed, telling him to get into her car. The restaurant she chose was quiet after the lunch rush. Finding a table, they examined the menus and gave their orders. Suddenly, Karen wondered where Katie was. Joshua told her she was with her mother, then, without thinking, told her he was getting a divorce. Karen wondered why he was telling her this. Maybe he needs to talk about it and get it off his chest. Regardless, she found his confession shocking. Observing him, she could clearly see his frustration and sadness. Things she had not noticed before. Suddenly, she felt compassionate, reaching across the table, she touched his hand in an attempt to comfort him. He held her hand for a moment until the waitress brought their food. There were few words while they ate, then he paid the cashier as they left.

“I’ll be over tomorrow to finish the painting.” He reminded her as she pulled up beside his truck. She simply nodded in recognition. “Bye Danny.” He waved at the boy in the back seat as he got out then shut the door and watched as she pulled out of sight.

Joshua felt better about driving home. The alcohol had worn off and his mind was clear again. His parents were in the barn doing their chores when he returned. Entering the house, he called Amanda to make sure she could get Katie to school. She assured him she would, and also would pick her up after school too. After his agreement, the conversation was over.

Climbing up the stairway, he laid on his bed. Although exhausted, he couldn’t stop thinking about Karen and couldn’t comprehend the reason. Somewhere amidst his thoughts, he fell asleep early in the evening. Opening his eyes again, his surroundings were hazy. Someone called his name and he turned to see Karen standing in his doorway. Again, she spoke his name, but it was much softer. He laid quiet as she slowly walked towards him. Wearing a long, flowing, white gown, he could see the contours of her body as the thin material swept against her. She was incredibly sexy. Sitting beside him on the bed, she ran her hand softly across his chest. Closing his arms around her, he pulled her against him. Her lips were soft and full as he kissed her passionately and she responded with equal enthusiasm. With his body temperature rising, his hands began to stray. Karen moaned as she released a deep breath. Changing positions, he was now laying directly on top of her, looking into her eyes. Their breathing uneven.

A loud noise distracted him and he turned to look. In an instant, he realized a lightning storm had awakened him from a glorious dream. Feeling a little upset, his body still ached and he could still see the look in her eyes. Closing his eyes again, he tried to regain control of the dream but it was no use. He couldn’t even go back to sleep.

At five-thirty in the morning, he decided to get up and take a shower. The house was completely quiet as no one was up. The hot water revived him but passions were still locked inside. Having been in the shower so long, the water began to cool. Drying off with a towel, he slipped his robe on and went to the kitchen to make coffee. His mom startled him when he came into the kitchen.

“Why are you up so early?” she questioned.

“The thunder woke me. I was having a good dream too.” He sat across the table from her with his cup of coffee. “I’m supposed to finish a job today but it doesn’t look I’ll be getting it done, due to the rain.”

“It’s not supposed to rain all day, it’s supposed to clear up around eight or nine. It should be alright.” His mother assured him. “There is a big horse show at the Expo center, starting this weekend, it lasts for two weeks. I think we should take Katie.”

“Maybe we will all go this weekend.” Joshua agreed.

“I’m sorry, Josh but I need to know what is going on between you and Amanda.” She softly pried, hoping to not upset him.

He merely drew in a deep breath before answering her. “I need a good divorce lawyer. I can’t put up with any more of this bullshit. And I won’t allow Katie to go through any more either. I’m done. I went over to get some tools the other day and found her in bed with another man. Mom, I’m probably lucky I didn’t go to jail because I beat the hell out of him.”

“She had another man in your bed?” She confirmed and he shook his head. “You had every right. If it were me, your father would have killed us both.”

“I don’t need to go to jail, mom. I have Katie to think about.

“I’m glad you’re thinking that way. Amanda cannot take care of her, she is unfit, drinking as she does. I know a good lawyer who owes us a favor. I’ll call him and let him know you’re coming.”

“Ok, because I don’t want to wait. I want to get this over with as quickly as possible.”

There was a moment of silence between them before she spoke. “Your father and I will do whatever we can to help you. You and Katie can stay as long as you need.”

“Just give me a few days to get my mind in order and we will find a place. This long drive is going to kill me every day.” Joshua finished the coffee in his cup and set it on the table. He went upstairs to get dressed. His father was at the table when he returned back downstairs. Waiting for it to dry up, he helped his father with the morning chores.

Surprised to see Karen’s car in the driveway when he arrived at her house, it was nine-thirty and he thought she would be at work. Without informing her of his presence, he started his work alone. Merely half an hour later, she realized he was there, hearing the tapping of his ladder on the back of her house.

“Morning.” She greeted him through the back screen door.

Turning to look, he saw her wearing something similar to what she wore in his dream. Instantly reminding him, he turned away before responding. “Good morning.”

“Would you like some coffee?”

“Coffee would be good, thank you.” He answered without looking at her.

“Give me a minute.” She said then dressed before pouring two cups of coffee.

Coming outside she set the two cups on the table as Joshua brushed a few more strokes before climbing down the ladder. When Joshua joined her, they chatted for a minute while he drank his coffee then decided to get back to work. While Joshua concentrated on the house, hours passed before Karen peeked out the back door and told Joshua she had to take Danny to school.

Being gone longer than an hour, he was finishing up when she returned. She put groceries away before coming out of the house to see his completed job.

“It looks really good. Thank you. I’ll be sure to recommend your work.”

“I would appreciate that.” He smiled at her as he cleaned up.

“I know you must be hungry by now, would you like some lunch?” she asked him.

“Karen, you’re much too generous, but I…”

She interrupted him. “Now come on, you insisted on us having lunch with you yesterday, now I’m insisting you have lunch with me.”

He sighed as he gave in to her. “Ok, I guess that would be fair. What are we having?”

“I cooked a huge pork roast last night. I was going to make barbeque pork sandwiches and homemade coleslaw.

“Sounds delicious. Actually, I am hungry now.” He followed her into the house where he washed his hands at the kitchen sink. He helped her gather this and that before they sat down to eat. “Thank you so much for lunch.” He said before they started.

She glanced up at him. “You’re welcome. Help yourself, please.”

Quiet and peaceful except for the country music playing low on the radio, she waited for him to finish before clearing the table, he got up to help. Brushing up against him, reaching for something in the cupboard, she flinched and lost her balance. Catching her, he pulled her back up to him. Close enough to feel one anthers’ breath on their faces, they stared into each other's eyes for what seemed like endless minutes before he finally reached to gently kiss her. Slowly, she wrapped her arms around him, their eyes closed.

Suddenly pushing him away, she barely mumbled. “No, I can’t.” There were tears in her eyes.

“Karen, what’s wrong, are you ok?”

Pausing for a moment, she uttered, “No, Joshua, I’m sorry, I just can’t. It’s not you, please.” She sounded confused and nervous.

Staring at her for a moment, he studied her. “What’s happened to you, someone must have really hurt you.” He spoke with a soft voice.

Turning her back to him, she sobbed. “Please Josh, just go, please.”

“I’m sorry, Karen, I’m sorry…”

“Please just go.” Her voice was deeper as if trying to control herself.

“Ok.” Exhaling, he turned and walked towards the door, pausing to turn and look at her once more. Standing with her back to him, he could see her head was down and could hear her crying. All he wanted to do was hold her, comfort her, but he knew it was best to just leave.

Hearing the door shut, she felt somewhat easier. She heard the truck start and the engine fade as he drove away. Flinging herself onto the couch, she buried her face in the cushion and grieved heavier.

“Damn you, Daniel, just let me go.” She cursed.

Joshua was distraught, having no idea where he was going, he just drove with no destination. The only thing he could see in his mind was the look on her face when she pushed him away. What happened to her? Who could have possibly done this degree of damage to such a young beautiful woman? The thought of it infuriated him.