Chapter 1
"Aella! Why would he say something like that to me?" Shayna practically screamed into the phone.
Shayna was and still is my best friend since the beginning of time or kindergarten in actuality. I have told her everything and anything about my life and she has done the same with me. She knows about all my crushes, and all the people that liked me, and my very deep hatred for my mom's boyfriend, Antonie. I prefer to call him the Home Wrecker. That's a story for another day though.
As she rambles on about some the boy-of-the-week disrespecting her, I slowly zone out as the posters become more interesting than hearing about boy struggles. I mean, I've had my fair share of boy struggles but they aren't my main struggle in life. Looking around my room I admire the posters I've collected through multiple concerts; Melanie Martinez, Bruno Mars, Halsey, Nicki, and even Marilyn Monroe stare back at me in my mess of a room. I should clean up soon, but it won't happen.
The sudden silence from Shayna's end of the call snaps me out of my thoughts. She must be waiting for me to respond and to test if I was paying attention to her.
"Damn! That really is crazy, who the hell does he think he is talking to you like that?" I give one of my more bland but acceptable responses, she'll know it's fake but it's better than asking what she said. No one wants to hear a monologue twice.
She remains silent and now it's weird, Shayna is absolutely terrible at staying silent. That's why she's always in trouble at school. I hang up and call back again, knowing she will probably scream into the phone dramatically about how I wasn't paying attention to her. The phone rang and rang and rang, then her voice comes up.
"Heyyy!! Sorry, I can't reach the phone right now!! T-rex arms too short! Call you when they grow!! RAWRR!!"
Great, the silent treatment.
I let her have her tantrum and start scrolling through my Instagram feed. Same girls twerking, some slime and soap cutting videos, people complaining about the single life, etc.. I'm getting bored of my timeline when the Home Wrecker burst through my room door in nothing but his navy blue boxers.
"Uhm, ew! Disgusting! What the hell is wrong with you?! Get out!" I screamed, shielding my eyes from his body. I don't even like seeing his beer-bellied body when he's fully clothed, why do I wanna see it with almost no clothes on.
"Sorry, but how are you still here?" he asks.
I peek from behind my hands, "What do you mean? It's my room, where else would I be?"
"Well, I was in the room with your mother and we were about to... you know, and I was getting a condom and when I turned back around your mother was gone. Nothing but a pile of dust and her ring was left on the bed."
"Wait wait wait, you're telling me, my mom pulled an Infinity War and just turn to a pile of dust? Yeah, ok, nice story." I rolled my eyes and went back to my phone because now my timeline seems way more interesting than listening to the bullshit coming out of his mouth.
"Look here young lady, you better listen to me because who knows! You might go dusting your own damn self!"
"Ok, well look, step-douche! If mom really did disappear, I don't blame her! I don't know why she chose your ass over my dad anyway!" I snapped. I couldn't help it. Now we're staring each other down, the words I said are lingering in the air, thick like smoke, and making it impossible for either of us to say a word.
I'm the first to turn my head away and continue scrolling on my phone, I avoid looking up when I hear shuffling and just hope it's him walking back out the room. A shadow is cast over me and my desk and I realize he's standing over me. I turn my head towards him, not expecting to have my face so close to his hairy belly button. I yank my head back but he grabs my hair and stops me from pulling away anymore. He uses his grip and yanks me out the chair, despite my efforts to get him off, I fail and stumble in the direction he pulls me. He finally let go, but after he throws me down and I feel myself hit the surface of my bed. I scramble to get my hair out my face and look up to see Antonio with a grimace on his face, a mix between anger and twisted desire.
"I'm tired of your constant disrespect. I'm your stepfather for christ's sake! You need to be punished and I need a release with your mother now gone."
His words strike fear through me as he starts tugging at my shirt to lift it over my head. I kick my leg out, hoping to hit him somewhere and judging off of his grunt and him letting go of me, I hit him. I sit up and see him curled up on the floor, I edge around him and dash out of the room and into the kitchen. Why did I run into the kitchen? I'm practically cornered. I look around the kitchen and see the knife drawer is slightly open, I run over to it and grab the biggest knife in there. Seeing myself holding the knife, I realize I'm shaking more than ever. I take a deep breath and walk over to the kitchen doorway for a peek, and see Antonio speed stumbling towards the kitchen.
Trying to put as much distance between him and me, I rush to the other side of the room and wait with the knife at my stomach pointing outing outward. He stumbles into the kitchen and stares at me with crazed eyes. I never thought The Shining was scary, but witnessing it in real life really strikes a different nerve. He starts storming over to me and I feel my breathing get faster and heavier, my body is shaking violently yet I can't even dodge him because my feet won't move, it's as if someone crazy glued me in place. When he's at least 3 feet away from me I shut my eyes as tight as possible and turn away.
I expect to be violently grabbed and thrown to the ground in a second, but to my surprise, nothing happens, the thudding of his feet on the floor stops. I open my eyes a slit and look to see Antonio's eyes almost bulging out of his face as he's frozen, almost like a ghost scared him to a statue. Looking down, I see why he's frozen; The knife I'm holding stabbed right into his stomach, nearly half of the knife has disappeared into the fat of his belly. I look back up and see his eyes are starting to gloss over, he's trying to control his breathing like that will revive him, but he's practically already dead. He blinks, and when he opens his eyes are rolling to the back of his head. He slides to the floor and faintly grazes me on his descent. I stare in shock at his body as it slowly loses life and a pool of blood forms underneath him. The reality of the moment hits me and the knife falls out of my hands, the clattering sound resounds in my ears. I can't believe I killed him. It was self-defense, but it was still murder!
His body becomes a blur of colors as tears fill my eyes. I push myself further to the wall and despite me reaching the limit, I still try to push further back like I can push myself out of the wall. I slowly slide down to the ground and cover my face with my blood-stained hands. My shaking and sobbing are equally violent. I never meant to kill him, I just didn't want him to hurt me.
It feels like an eternity that I've been sitting here, not knowing what to do with myself. There's nowhere for me to go, how would I explain this to anyone. I pick the knife back up and tiptoe around his body. I wash the knife off in the sink and run back to my room. I put my black converses on and pick my phone up from the floor, apparently, I have a missed call from Cas.
Cas is another slightly long-term friend, I met him in 5th grade and it's almost like he's my other half. At least, that's what our friends say. We both had the top grades in middle school, it was our small competition. We go to different high schools now, but we always hang out together. I used to have a small, yet big, crush on him. Shayna always made fun of us when we were hanging out, and then his friends would join in on the fun. It also didn't help them stop because we acted like a married couple half of the time, he had gotten me a small teddy bear on one of our school trips and we pretended it was our precious child. We always have a lot of fun together.
I'm tempted to call him back, but I would like to get out of this house as fast as possible. I grab my small purse and something in me tells me to bring the teddy bear, so I do and dash out the house. I walk out the house and the sight isn't pretty. There are some crashed cars, and some people walking around in search of people, calling out their names in desperation. I slowly make my way down the front steps and start walking down the street, but my legs pick up pace on their own and soon I'm practically sprinting away from my house, with nothing to run from, and definitely nowhere to run to.
