Part 1 - Undecided feelings
Our lovestory began in August 24, 2019. We met in one of the website called omegle. It’s a platform that both strangers can talk whether chat or videocall. While i keep disconnecting people, finally, we matched and i feel interested because he’s nice to talk and we have some nice topics. In our first conversation, we ask each other about ourselves and our personalities.
He is half canadian-half indian born in india and raised in canada. He’s studying medicine and have a wealthy family. I am born and raised in Philippines but living in Guam, United States of America. I graduated as a Computer Engineer, have a simple and happy family.
After an hour chatting to omegle, he ask me what’s my snapchat username and i gave it to him. We keep talking to each other and we already feel comfortable. At first, i’m scared because it’s my first time talking to stranger, it’s on my mind what if he’s fake? Or scam? But then we started videocalling, he proves that he’s not fake but we did not have much to say at that time.
Little did i know that he would later steal my heart and become an intimate part of my life. As the saying goes “there’s someone will appreciate you and make you feel you are worth it” and i was about to find out that this saying was so true. I’m scared at that time because my past relationship didn’t work and i want to protect myself from all the relationships that have come and gone over the years. I thought I will be forever alone. This wonderful guy and the love and care he has given me has revived my hope and faith that i may have finally found love and peace within. He made me feel like I’m a princess and I’m so spoiled with his love.
I told him that I’m scared to take risk again and he said “don’t get afraid I’m not gonna hurt you” and he continued to show affection. I’m scared because people will only try to take advantage of you if you open the door for them to do so. But he proved me again that I don’t need to be scared and let me feel his love is real.
Honestly I’m not sure about it and i told him that we need to stop. The reason is i like someone else closer than me, and i told him that I’m very busy. He respect my decision but I’m so confused and hurt because i make excuses just to leave him. I just want to runaway because I’m scared to get hurt.
I asked my girlfriends if should i take the risk? then they gave me advices if he is worth it, why not? But some of them telling LDR is hard and how can i be sure if he’s sincere about his feelings. Well, hearing all that. I’m more confused. What i just did. I followed what my heart wants and i just leave whatever they say. I decided to give myself a chance to love him and will accept whatever it takes.
