Again a call of Her.
[The phone is vibrating. Looking at the screen with a steady gaze. Hands trembling. After all these years, again a phone call from that familiar number. Even today, seeing the number increases the heart rate several times.]
With a severe storm in the mind I finally received it. The familiar voice came from the opposite side. After all these years, nothing has changed.
No, I didn’t expect a phone call from this number after 3 years. So, I do not understand what to say.
:I’ve been remembering your words for days. But I couldn’t dare to call. Ever since I was very keen to hear your voice. So today, I gave up the courage. How are you?
:People change but their voice doesn’t change. I’m like myself. busy with myself like walking alone with some songs late at night, talking with the night sky.
[I don’t know if anyone is really good after leaving someone as cruel as they are. But people can do it all. Thousands of photo albums that have burned for years can burn up in one night. People can do it all. Being cruel is not to blame. Humans are more emotionally prone to cruelty. The difference here is throwing someone through intense hardship doesn’t really end at all. Photo albums, letters, diaries are all burned out as well. She murdered someone’s dream in a cold head. The dream killer is never hanged. Only life within itself is imprisoned. Nightmares, chest pains and old memories in the locked house of the prison have haunted him throughout his life. The heartbeat starts to sound louder in the rhythm of intense agony. No one hears that word. So everyone is well, very good.]
: Won’t you ask “How am I?”
: Uh, no need. There are some people who are always good. You’re one of them.
:(Silence around for a while.) Didn’t you remember me?
[Even if “You” are lost in life, you aren’t lost in the head. Maybe a lot of new people are pressed “you”. But some deep night predicts “You” from the trash. Without coming out he shook his head, all the memories of “you” were filled with a gust of wind in his mind. The feelings of distress started to freeze, and then he was in the snow. Few drops of tears from the corner of the throat drops in the pillow! “No one else witnessed that night just that pillow.“]
:Yes. I remember a lot. If I hadn’t eaten day after day, I would remember, “Are you eating well?“. When I haven’t slept at night, I would cry and get sick and remember,“Are you well?“. At a festival, everyone would shout and cheer, and as I closed the door and sat in the dark, I remembered “Are you happy and happy with everyone?“. When I looked in the mirror for my own neglect, I remembered, “You must have become more beautiful”. I remember a lot of times. There was a time I wanted you very much. But now it is not the same as then. You,ve changed the day. I’ve changed myself, yeah a lot of! I don’t know how much I got. But that’s all I can say. I’m not like before anymore. Ever since the day you left I’ve been alone with the rest of the world. Now I have forgotten to smile, Forget about dreaming of happiness. I forgot to love you as well. Now I’m alone with me. Leave me alone. I wanna stay like this as long as The Provider wants now, where is the time to remember them?
:(Silence again.....) Can’t I be forgiven?
:Forgiveness? I’ve already forgiven you 3 years ago. The wounds you gave me they won’t dry up even if I haven’t. My dreams are out of date, you haven’t changed. Only i remained, as it always was. Wherever I was, maybe this is how some people come at a designated time like a guest bird. They make that time so colorful that it can’t be forgotten. But maybe in reality they come for their own benefits, then when the time is gone they leave and we like fools who gave them their place. I wanted to find happiness even in the midst of a thousand sorrows, but the clouds of sorrow were so dark that I couldn’t find the light of happiness in it. If this is my luck, Then I wish you a happy life all the time. Well now let’s keep it. Now it’s time to look toward the sky. Every night at this time I see the sky, talk to the sky. The sky never cheated on me. Every night, She appeared in front of me with a basket of stars. I listen quietly as I speak. So, Don’t worry.
:Not talking to the sky overnight, isn’t it? Is the sky more important than our words?
:Right now ... The sky has helped me in my extreme hopelessness and loneliness. For 3 years that kept me away, I couldn’t keep my 3 year old partner away. Well I’ll go now. The night sky is waiting for me. A very beautiful moon has risen in the sky also.
I cut the phone. I came to the porch. A moon rose in the sky. Looking at it with loneliness. Like 3 years ago.
It was when you left me, I don’t even know what was my fault till today.
Still strong faith, I hoped one day you would come, I’ve waited a long time for you. It’s night, everything is happening. But do you know one thing? This life can’t be called an exact life. Can you tell me what was my fault? I wanted to build a House of happiness with you. If this is my fault then like before I wish you a happy life for all the time. And I will cherish your memory forever.
Okay let’s not write anymore today. Actually the sky is waiting and I have to go.
