Chapter 1
Today has not been a good day why you may ask is because I woke up in the hospital. It has been raining on and off since I found out about my best friend Jamie. I cannot wrap my head around my head nor believe that we were in an accident. Strange events are surrounding my accident. Mom said there was a breach of my security whatever that means. A few days later she told me that my truck was total, sucks because I loved my truck it was my sixteenth birthday present. Later, that day I was knocked out of my thoughts when I hear my full name coming out of mom’s mouth “Angel Rose Blake the doctor is here to see you, missy.” The doctor greeted me and gave me a cup of water. I drunk the first one fast then the doctor walks over and gave me another cup of water I have a broken right leg and four broken ribs are on my left. No wonder why it hurts to breathe in deeply. I was told I was going to be discharged in a couple of days now that I am not in a medical coma. I looked at mom and asked, “How is Joanna doing, she must be blaming me for her son’s death?”
Mom looks at me and takes a deep breath saying that she is copping in a way a mother can grieve properly. and she is not blaming you for Jamie’s death because she knew what his job was. I looked at me with tears in my saying
“She has to because it is my fault that he died!” I was overtaken with so emotions at once I did not know if I was angry at her or myself because I agreed to this stupid party with him because of his ex-girlfriend of three years cheated on him and caught them doing the nasty on his bed. Now I am wondering what mom means when she said his mother knew what job he had. Mom then changed the topic to my 18th birthday. I was not even aware that my birthday was soon. Must have gotten in the accident right after Christmas. I don’t even know what I want for my birthday either, so I feel lost at this moment I am trying to process my best friend died. I look at the date on my whiteboard to see today’s date in my hospital room its December 31 its Rivers birthday. “Mom look at me please I need a hug from you!” She turns around looks at me with murky blue eyes that are showing her pain behind them. River Mackanzie is my little sister that we lost to childhood cancer. Mom hesitates but I told her “Mom come here I know she is gone but we got Chandler.” She nods her comes and hugs me tightly and silent tears fall between us then we hear dad coming into my hospital room asking if she wants to get Chandler or does, she wants him to go. She looks at with love and understanding and says she will go and get him. River looked like mom down to a tee. Dad is an athletic build because he works out too much. He also has copper hair and grey eyes. Mom is a strawberry blonde hair and she has blue eyes, but she also has a scar going down her check from something in her past that I don’t know about. Chandler looks like a mix of the two of them he has one gray eye then one blue eye and has mom’s strawberry blonde hair. I look like my dad to a tee except in the eye department I have red eyes. I also play a lot of sports and I dance. Right now, I cannot practice dancing because of a stupid broken leg. “Hey, dad did Chandler have a play date?” Dad looked at me and hug me and said yes, he did he was so excited. It’s going to be okay I keep repeating that in my head over and over. This lyric from one of my favorite band Shinedown sometimes goodbye is a second chance. I was knocked out of my thoughts when hear Chandler coming up to my hospital room door then I hear him saying “Sissy you okay?” I look over the side of my bed and say, “Hi Chandler yes I am going to be okay, do you want to come up here with me?” Then I see him making grabby hands at me then he giggles when I say, ” Oh momma can you get Chan-man up here with me.” She looks at me like I was crazy for how I worded it, but she goes and turns off the bed alarm and tells the nursing staff that is off. Then she picks up Chandler puts him on my bed then I ask him “How was your playdate with your new friend?” He starts to talk fast then I hold up my hand asking him to slow down. Then he takes a deep breath “He is my new friend that I made at daycare his name is Tallon. We played cars then we draw pictures. Then we baked cookies with his mom I brought you a cookie as well. We ate a lot of snacks.” I looked at him say “Good job bubba for using your big boy words.” He is growing up even though he’s only three years old. Mom then hands me the cookie that he helped make. ” Do you want some for using your big boy words?” Then he glances at mom she nods her head giving me the go-ahead. Then he says, ” Thanks you sissy for sharing your cookie and are you going to be um okay?” I pulled him into a hug and kissed his forehead and I say, “Yes I am going to be okay.” Mom looked at us like awe moment, I am not big on showing my affections to others. There are days that I say don’t touch me, but they are from my horrid past during middle school years. Then we heard another knock at my door and say, “come in Bridget.” She runs ups to my bed and hugs me after a few minutes I asked her to let me go. Bridget then says” I heard what happened and that Jamie didn’t make it are you okay?” I looked at her I don’t know how to feel about Jamie’s death. She looked at me wanting an answer I finally said “I am still processing from everything ask me again later.
