how it started
i don't know how i ended up here, in this situation. well, i guess i do, but i didn't see any of this coming. i never thought any of this would ever happen to me. but here i am, my name is laura and this is my story
so, i'm 18, i work full time. i live at home with my mum, dad and two younger sisters (who both have special needs) i'm single, and i'm pregnant.
i'll start from June 2019, that's when i got my first full time job after i finished collage. it's where it all began in a way. it was at work that i met petre, i sat opposite to him while i was in training. we didn't talk at work much, but 3 weeks after meeting him we started to talk on messenger. he was funny, fairly good looking and smart (he spoke 8 languages). I've always had bad self esteem, i used to be bullied when i was younger because of my weight and my sisters. i was very overweight, I've lost a lot of it.
so when i met him i remember thinking there was no way he liked me like that, he was just being nice, i was stupid for ever thinking he would like me. after a little while he asked to meet up with me outside of work. i have bad anxiety, and i was confused, we had kind been flirting, but he didn't say it was a date. so i didn't know if this was as friends or as more than friends. i asked my best friend to come with me because i was so nervous.
eventually we all met us, we just hung out in town, it was very chill. i got to know him outside of work and my best friend met him, and the two of them seemed to get along. i was on cloud 9, i was young, i liked this guy who i thought was way out of my leauge, he seemed really nice and he got along with my best friend. so things started well.
one day while we were messaging, keep in mind i had met him once outside of work and we were not together at this point. he started talking about sending pictures. i said i wasn't comfortable with it. so he was like "i bet you want to see my di*k" i said no, i said i wouldn't like it. but sure enough he sent it anyway. this was the first red flag. i told him no, and he still did it. at the time i just thought oh my god, how am i gonna look at him in work. i ended up brushing it off, he's young (a few months younger than me) maybe he dosn't think its a big deal, maybe he thought i was joking. i don't wanna get mad and ruin this. i know know how stupid that was, i had specifically told him no, that i didn't want it and he sent it to me anyway.
skip to the end of June, it was my best friends 18th. i'll call her Georgie, this isn't her real name. we got drunk, i had about 16 shots of Vodka, that was the first time i had really drunk, i was still 17 at this point. a few messages were sent to petre on snap chat during this, i was drunk and i have anxiety, i remember a video was sent to him where i said something along the lines of "what if he dosn't like me and breaks up with me, well, he cant break up with me we arn't together but what if he just leaves me". the next day he sent me a message saying "im not breaking up with you, you're my girlfriend". at the time i was overjoyed by this message, i thought it was amazing he wanted to date me, but now looking back, i realize how it was kind of controlling and the seccond red flag. he didn't ask me to be his girlfriend, he TOLD me i was his girlfriend. and he did it over a message, not in person. and we didn't know each other well at this point either.
but it's true what they say, you don't see it until you're out of the situation.
we started dating, and by that i mean messaging a lot more, we didn't live close to each other and he didn't drive. and we didn't actually go on dates. i convinced myself it was nice, that it was more relaxed.
the first time we met each other alone outside of work we went to orton mere. its like an outside area, there's a river, open space. we talked for a little bit, he asked if i wanted to go on a walk, and i said yes. so we walked for a little bit, along the path there's like a wooded area. he just picked me up and carried me into it. i was naive, i thought he was just being adventurous.
but he then turned me to face him and placed my hand over his dick. i removed my hand and just laughed it off. but he did it again. he kissed me and took my hand and put it there. he ended up taking it out and putting my hand on him and kinda forcing me to give him a hand job. i wasn't comfortable with it. but i didn't say no. i have really bad anxiety and i was still shy with him, i didn't know him that well. and i still even at this point thought i was lucky to have him and didn't want to fuck it up. so i didn't say anything and went along with it. but then he started to kinda push my head down, i said i wasn't comfortable with it, i had never done anything like that. i'd never even had a boyfriend before that. but he just kept edging me on. this should have been the point where i stopped it then and there and walked home. don't EVER let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren't comfortable with, if they really liked you, they would wait for you. i wish that was what i did, but i didn't. it was very clear i was uncomfortable with it, but he clearly didn't care. and i did it. it wasn't forced. i could have said no, he wouldn't have held me there, but i was pressured and scared that if i didn't he wouldn't want me. i know that now this is stupid. but i did it.
that's kinda how our relationship was. there were good times, i did generally like him, and i don't think he is a bad person, i think he thought it was fine, that he wasn't doing anything wrong. and i was too anxious to say anything, so it was both our fault.
through dating him i met Corey and I'll call him Teto. (teto is not his real name). and they quickly became good friends of mine who i trusted and cared about. they also started working at the same place as us a couple months after i joined. at first i thought that was great, but now? now i hate that one of them works here.
