Spring Skirmish

“Oh look at those idiots waving their wands about,” Freck said leaning over to Giddymoor. “They haven’t the slightest idea what they’re doing.”

“Aren’t those the ones the Wizardry Department replaced you with?” asked Giddymoor and squinted. Since they had hung up their robes, his eyesight had somewhat diminished.

“Didn’t notice,” Freck said, sucking on his pipe. He produced a puff of smoke which eerily resembled a dark thundercloud.

“It is!” said Giddymoor, who, upon meeting the glare of his old friend decided not to pursue the matter any further.

The two friends were sitting in the shade of a grand old oak. They were on the top of a hillside right beside the chosen battlefield of the day. The newcomers down below were desperately trying to avoid instant ignition. They ran about the field, sending bolts of lighting in various colours, aiming for a big red dragon. The beast, however, didn’t show interested in them at all. It was busy playing with the damsel in supposed distress.

The same one the younger wizards were trying to rescue. But, by the squealing sounds coming from said damsel, she didn’t care about the wizards either.

“If it were me down there, I would have organised the flanks, gone in from the north and south. When it focused on those, I would have come in from behind with one well-placed defence spell to stun. And then extract the girl, er, lady, in one piece.”

“But,” said Giddymoor. “You’re not down there, are you?”

Freck leaned back in his chair, puffing on his pipe to produce an even more sinister cloud of smoke. Up in the sky though, there wasn’t a cloud in sight. The sun was hanging high, but there was still a chill left in the air from the late spring morning. Giddymore pulled his blanket a little tighter around himself. He sank into his chair.

“Oh, come on,” said Giddymoor. “Haven’t we done enough, the two of us? Beating dragons, rescuing people, the occasional necromancy?”

Freck didn’t answer.

They sat there in silence for a while. The only sounds came from around them. Flowers encircled their vantage point. The bees were hard at work on them, fresh from their winter sleep. A breeze ruffled the leaves above, and a bird here and there chirped like there was no tomorrow. The sounds of emerging life were only disrupted by the occasional near-death scream from the battlefield a little further down.

“We’ve had a good run, you have to agree with that,” said Giddymoor.

Freck refused to acknowledge Giddymoor’s remark and kept staring at the dragon. It was now cradling the young lady in one of its leathery wings, swinging her back and forth to her utter delight.

“This is not about the past,” Freck said. “The only thing that really matters is what’s happening right now.”

“And we have it pretty damn good right now,” said Giddymoor. “We have a place to sleep every night, decent food and a game of Checkers every other Tuesday.” Freck growled.

Giddymore straightened up and craned his neck to see what the young wizards were trying to do next. At one point it seemed like they were gaining some ground on the beast. But, in the next, they hoisted their robes and ran like rats, skittering over the battlefield back to safety. Giddymore wrinkled his nose, making an effort not to peer over at his friend.

Freck put his elbows on the armrests of the old chair, pulled himself up to a more upright position. He shot a glance over at Giddymoor.

“Are you even listening to what you’re saying?” Freck grumbled. “We are rotting away in a home for old farts who used to call themselves wizards.”

“It’s not a home, it’s collective housing for those formerly known as wizards,” Giddymoor said. “It said so in the brochure.”

“I don’t care what it says in the brochure, it’s an antiquarium,” barked Freck.

“So what do you suppose we do?” said Giddymoor. “Go out and risk our necks while rescuing distressed, er, people, and drink and be merry?”

“Yes! No, I mean –“ Freck shook his head. “Do the thing we’ve been doing our entire lives, the thing we’re good at, magic!”

“I, for one, am happy those days are over,” Giddymoor leaned back in his comfortable chair. “And watching someone else getting their butts burned off is much more entertaining if you ask me.”

The conversation faded, and they were left watching the spectacle below. In their minds they were both, without the other one knowing, of course, coming up with a plan which would have dealt with the young practitioners’ predicament in a much more efficient way. Freck sighed and leaned towards Giddymoor.

“Are you though?” asked Freck. “Are you happy with the way things are now?” Giddymoor bit his lip. He paused for a long while.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yes, I’m very happy.”

“You can’t fool an old fool,” said Freck. “We’re not done yet. There’s more for us out there. New adventures. And now, since we’re no longer under the management of the bloody Wizardry Department, we can do whatever we want.”

“But to what end? If we keep on that path we’ll end up mangled in a ditch somewhere. We’ve barely cheated death so far, I imagine it’ll only get harder from here on out. We should feel so blessed we’ve even gotten to be the age we are,” Giddymoor said.

“It’s not enough,” Freck said. “There has to be more.”

“What do you suggest we do then?” Giddymoor asked.

“We head out, find a path and follow it. We’re bound to stumble upon something interesting along the line,” Freck said.

“But– What about our pension?” asked Giddymoor and gave him a worried look. Freck sat upright and glared at his friend. When he was quite certain Giddymore had received the message, he continued.

“Did we rely on pension before?” Freck asked.

“No,” Giddymoor answered, and hesitated a bit. “We didn’t.”

“Then neither will we now,” he said. He looked like a defiant kid, as he crossed his arms and frowned.

“But – It feels safe. I think the security of a steady income is a good thing,” Giddymoor said, not really believing his own words.

“That security will kill us before any dragon has a chance to,” said Freck.

“Okay, what if we did just up and leave, where would we go? We can’t simply go strolling down any path, we’d be lost before sundown,” Giddymoor said.

“Remember that one time we were supposed to travel to Kestrambar?”

Freck snorted. Giddymoor watched his old companion as he started to hiss with laughter. He couldn’t help but chuckle himself.

“That was fun,” Freck said when he was finally able to breathe properly again.

“It was,” said Giddymoor with a bright smile. He got lost in thought as he gazed into the distance, and the smile faded.

After having what looked like a time out; the inexperienced wizards were getting ready to attack again. They gathered up all their strength and went in head-on. They found themselves, yet again, fleeing in every direction with various parts of their body set alight.

“We can’t stay here,” said Freck.

“Maybe not,” said Giddymoor. “But we can start here.”

“What do you mean?” said Freck.

“There may be people in of need help right here,” said Giddymoor.

“I highly doubt it. Every person around here is either an old oblivious fart or too high on themselves to even realise they need help.”

“You might be surprised,” said Giddymoor. “You never know.”

They both returned their attention to the battlefield. The wizards hadn’t been able to turn the events of the fight to their favour at all. Freck started to wonder if they had ever seen a dragon before.

“Oh, come on,” Freck put a hand to his forehead. “What is the daft fool doing now?”

“It appears he is trying to outrun the beast,” said Giddymoor, suppressing a smile as best he could. Which wasn’t very easy when the young wizard tripped over a tuft of grass and then proceeded to land on his face, making Giddymoor giggle like an idiot.

“They’re knobs, the lot of them,” said Freck and shook his head.

“They have to learn, in some way or another,” Giddymoor said.

“They’re supposed to be better than this,” said Freck.

“They will be. And you of all people should know you never stop learning,” countered Giddymoor.

“Yes, I’m very well aware.”

Giddymoor moved to the edge of his chair.

“That’s where you start,” he said. Freck stared at him, bewildered, not quite sure where he was going with this.

“You start by teaching those knobs, as you so affectionately called them, a trick or two,” said Giddymoor. “They sure look like they could use some.”

One of the young wizards on the battlefield fled the scene with a trail of smoke behind him.

“Do you really think they would listen?” said Freck raising an eyebrow.

“I don’t know,” said Giddymoor. “Maybe?”

Freck gazed back down again. Giddymoor stood up, brushed something off of his suit. He then gestured with his hand towards the battlefield.

“Shall we go?” he asked.

At first, Freck scowled at him. Then his face cracked into a smile.