The Case Of Princess T's Missing Silver Pillbox: 1

One dark and dreary night in Hell, Lucifer Langslion and his wife, Princess were in the living room watching television while he was busy smoking a cigarette. He blew out some green smoke that had golden sparkles in it as Princess said,

"Lucifer, I have a question." He turned his head slightly and said,

"Yeah?"

"Why do you smoke so much?" Lucifer didn't say anything as he turned his head back to the television and took another drag of his cigarette. Princess elbowed him in his ribs with her left elbow.

"What?!" said Lucifer. He blew out some more green smoke with golden sparkles and had a rather annoyed look on his handsome face as Princess said,

"You didn't give me a reply. So, answer me. Why do you smoke so much?"

"Is it any of your business on why, Doll? If I had wanted you to know why then I'd tell you, now wouldn't I?" Lucifer shot back as he started to switch off the television by pointing at it with his right pointer finger. Princess had a look of a thundercloud that was getting ready to set off some lightning bolts as she grabbed his finger to stop him as she said,

"For your information, yes it is so my business, Lucifer. You want to know why it's my business? Well, I'm going to tell you why! It's my business because I'm your wife and I'm the one that you're supposed to be telling these things to!" Lucifer yanked his finger from Princess's grip and turned the television off by pointing at it and then took a huge puff of what was left of his cigarette, threw the butt away, then blew the smoke out in a great big huff.

"Go ahead and get mad if you want because I don't give a damn if you do." said Princess, leaving Lucifer alone to slowly stew in his anger that was building up inside of him. She went to their room and shut the door and that's when her black cat which was of the Munchkin breed by the name of Sheba, rubbed up against her ankles and meowed. Princess picked her cat up and asked as Sheba meowed again once she was in Princess's arms,

"What's the matter, Girl? Were you lonely?" Sheba meowed for a third time, this more quietly. Princess put her hand on Sheba's forehead and found that it was slightly warm. Princess snapped her fingers on her right hand and a small vial of glowing pink liquid appeared in front of her. She took it and popped the cork and said to Sheba,

"Here you go, Girl. Take this for me. You'll feel much better." Sheba sniffed the contents and then she turned her head away.

"Sheba, listen to Mommy and take this or else you won't be getting any catnip from me later on." Sheba turned her head back and then she reluctantly took what was in the vial as Princess poured it into Sheba's mouth. Sheba closed it and swallowed then started doing a weird cough but had soon stopped and was now slowly wagging her tail the way cats do and gave a happy sounding meow and was purring. Princess smiled and said,

"There, see? I told you'd feel better if you took what was in the vial." Just then, Lucifer came walking through the closed door as if it had been made of water and slightly frowned.

"Will you put that black furball of yours down? You're going to kick up m-m-my... ACHOO!!... allergies!" He sneezed and Princess paid him no mind as she continued to pet Sheba. Sheba looked at Lucifer with her orange-red colored eyes and gave a small warning growl. She swiped her left front paw at him and made some claw slashes on the front of his red $990.00 Georgio Armani suit. Lucifer's sea-green eyes went wide as his mouth dropped open and then his eyes turned a darker shade of sea-green as he yelled at Sheba,

"What the fuck?! You stupid, little, no-good-for-nothing, insensitive, fleabag hotel!! Look at what the fuck you did to my suit! Do you have any idea how much money I spent on this!? Do you?! Exactly $990.00!! You're going to fucking get it, you mangy nuisance! Do you hear me?! I'll give you over to a Chinese chef and have him turn you into Spicy Moo Goo Gai Pan or better yet, some Spicy Cat Kabobs with plenty of vegetables on side!" Lucifer's hair had caught on fire from being so angry and it had been smoking up a storm beforehand. He grabbed Sheba from Princess by the scruff of her neck and then began shaking her like she was a bag that was full of marbles. Princess quickly snatched Sheba back from her husband before he snapped Sheba's neck like a twig off a tree and Sheba jumped out of Princess's arms to run out of the room. Lucifer made a swing at her and managed to give her a swift kick in the ass before she had left the room. Sheba let out a yowl, turned back to Lucifer, swiped at his left pant leg, made a few more slashes, and then left the room in a hurry. Lucifer let out an enraged yell and before he could even make another move, Princess grabbed him by his red satin tie that he had on around his neck and with surprisingly superhuman strength, she flung him clear across the other side of the room and watched him as he made contact with the far-right wall! Lucifer hit it with a loud THUD!!! and slid slowly to the floor. As soon as his eyes had focused, he saw Princess standing over him with her hands on her hips and was glaring at him. She said,

"What in the name of St. Peter do you think you were doing to my cat?! You absolutely had no fucking right to do what you did! No right at all!" Lucifer tried to say something but Princess interrupted him before he could say a word.

"Don't even think of saying anything to me Mr.-You-Think-You're-So-High-&-Mighty-And-&-Can-Do-Anything-You-Please, because I have news for you! You can't so you might as well get that out of your head right now!" At that point, Lucifer decided to stop his wife before she got too wound up. He had managed to get to his feet as he said while sticking his left pointer finger in her face,

"Now, you listen hear to me Woman! That damn motherfucking cat of yours went and slashed my suit and I'm not going to just stand here and fucking take it! If that fleabag got even one piece of fur on me, she's going straight to that new Chinese place, Li Fwong's Kitchen that's right down the street from the cleaners!" Princess smacked Lucifer's finger out of her face and then she hauled off and slapped the living Dickens out of him. He nearly went down again after been flung across the room by her, but he quickly regained his balance. While the two of them had been arguing, something slid silently into the room that was unseen by both Princess and Lucifer, stole her silver pillbox that was on her nightstand on side of the bed, and then left the same way it had come in. Hitler had been passing by the room and he wanted to see what all the ruckus was about. He peeked into the room and said,

"Is everything all right?" Both Lucifer and Princess glared at Hitler and said in unison,

"No, everything is not all right! Get the fuck out of here!" Hitler backed off the subject, apologized to them, and then left. Princess turned towards her nightstand to get her pillbox to throw at Lucifer, but to her dismay, she found that it was gone! She let out a high-pitched shriek that pierced the air and that also hurt Lucifer's ears. He said as he had his ears covered,

"Good God, Princess! Why the fuck are you doing that?!" Lucifer took his hands down from his ears and then shook his head to stop the ringing that was in them. Princess wailed as she put her hands over eyes and began crying,

"My pillbox is gone!" Things had settled down now between them and so Lucifer gave her a hug, which she accepted as he said,

"There now, Doll. It's all right. Maybe you just misplaced it and don't know where it's at." Princess shook her head and kept crying. Hitler came back to the room to say that dinner was ready and Princess didn't feel like eating anything, so Lucifer left her alone to lie down for a little while on their King-sized bed to cry it out. A few moments later, Princess had calmed down enough to exit the room to see at least what had been for dinner. Lucifer and the rest of the family were in the living room watching "Baywatch" on television and so they hadn't heard her when she had come out of her room and entered the living room. They had all finished eating dinner and so they were all taking some time out to watch some television. Persuasia looked up from from the TV and said,

"Hi, Mom. What's up?" Princess stopped at the kitchen, turned to her daughter to say something when a huge BANG!!! interrupted her. Lucifer rose from his seat and said as he went to see what had made the noise,

"What in the name of the Holy Mary, Mother of Jesus, was that?!"