What is your opinion?
A great, light-hearted adventure.
"I've really enjoyed reading the first 14 chapters of this story. It's a pleasant change from the seriousness that typically is found in stories on this site. I have seen a few typos, but not enough to give me the impression of carelessness, just might need a bit more qc. The way the game elements are translated into the story allows me to almost feel like I'm playing the game. Overall, I hope to see more from this author and can't wait to read it to completion."
Too gamey
"So, for starters, that’s a lot of game lingo! I mean maybe the novel is just for gamers, but it’s difficult for non-gamers to understand what’s going on. So instead of random pauses where you say, “Congratulations! You have learnt this skill!”, try to relate more to the readers and separate ‘level ups’ and other in-game stuff from the actual story. The first chapter is a little confusing as the reader has no idea what’s going on, and this may be your downfall because most people will stop reading the novel. However, if people continue to read after the first chapter, the story gets really deep and interesting. I like the whole concept of the protagonist testing out an augmented-reality game; it really resonates with me. But if you really want to make this click, clean up your writing a little and use more imagery to give your readers a clearer picture of what’s going on."
