Prologue
“Mr. and Mrs. Johnson, Mrs. Smith will see you now.” The receptionist called out, with one of the cheesiest smiles I have ever seen.
Both of us got up from our seats abruptly and followed the woman to the back, where we were led to a fairly large room, with a large love seat in the center, and a desk in the far back corner. Right in front of the couch was a small cushioned chair, for one. Kind of reminded me of the setup in Deshawn’s office.
I smiled at the woman sitting behind the desk. I had never seen someone to be so beautiful. She had long silver black hair that came to mid-back. Her smooth brown skin seemed to have this glow about her. Her petite frame didn’t stop her from exuding assertive energy, which almost reminded me of my mother. She seemed like a sweet woman, but you could tell she meant business. She resembled the essence of Clair Huxtable off of “The Cosby Show”.
She was my own aspirations for what I want to look like when I get older. She was everything I had dreamed of becoming once I got older, graceful and poised, but strong and commanding. I watched her as she got up from her desk, and walked over to the small chair in the center.
“Hi, Sayria and Deshawn I’m Mrs. Smith and welcome to marriage counseling. I’m excited to be on this journey with you into fixing your marriage and bringing peace back into your lives, whether it be together, or separate.” She smiled earnestly.
“I’m willing to do whatever it takes to fix this! ” Deshawn jumped up eagerly. His southern drawl becoming more apparent than ever.
“Yes, Mr. Johnson, I understand. But you also should know that this will require a lot of work and it won’t be easy. Mending a heart takes time.” she spoke calmly, but honestly.
You could tell that stung him a bit. But I honestly could not have sympathy for him right now, he is the reason why we are here in the first place.
“Yes, but...” He tried to argue.
She held her hand up, cutting him off politely, which I found to be quite amusing. I took notes. He had to not only gain back the respect of me but gain the respect of this woman as well.
Mrs. Smith continued to speak. “Things that have been damaged, especially people, can only be fixed over time, keep that in mind as we go through these next two years.”
She glanced down at her clipboard, allowing her pen to graze over certain words on the paper. “Now, it’s listed here that you Sayria have filed for a separation from your husband, is that correct?”
“Yes.” I nodded, without hesitation, but not once did I glance at Deshawn for his reaction.
“And, why did you file for separation?” she asked, looking directly in my eyes.
I had gone over what to say a million times, but verbally saying what was wrong, in front of the man who hurt me, was the hardest.
I fumbled with my fingers, as I rocked back and forth slightly. I could feel the tears at the brim of my eyelids.
“Hey, dear, it’s alright. I’m right here, and I will be here with you every step of the way. I’m here to help you heal.” She grabbed ahold of my hands, immediately settling my nerves.
“Okay.” I shook my head. I took in one deep breath and tried again.
“I filed for separation due to the verbal and physical abuse done to me by Deshawn Johnson,” I spoke lowly on the last part.
I didn’t even have the heart to say, my husband. I felt that in some twisted way claiming that it wasn’t my husband, would make me see him as just a person, and not a bad husband who hurt me. I didn’t want to believe that my husband was a bad man, but that he was just a person that did some bad things, and needed help.
“Thank you for sharing that Sayria... Now, both of you, this isn’t my typical start for my sessions, but I do like to gather elements from your relationship’s past, to possibly see where all of this anger and abuse has stemmed from. Now, digging up things from the past, even what’s happened over this past year, maybe very rough, but it’s all apart of the healing process. For both of you. Is that alright with you all...Sayria?” She looked back over at me for full confirmation.
Again, I had yet to look at Deshawn’s face, not once. I hesitated, but I realized, I’m paying too much money for me to just sit in these sessions and not say anything. I laughed to myself a bit, not making it known to anyone else.
“I’m ready Mrs. Smith, I’m ready to heal.”
“I’m ready to see you happy, dear.” She smiled.
“So am I, even if that means accepting that we may never work out again. I want to see Sayria happy again.” he sighed.
“I’m glad, accepting and admitting are the first two steps to healing. Around what time did you first start off dating?”
“Senior Year of high school.” I looked over, hearing the same words, uttered from Deshawn’s mouth, only his sounded more like he was reminiscing, rather than making a statement, as he spoke.
“We’ll start there, and intertwine it with what’s happened over this past year.” She clapped her together softly, then opened her mouth to speak again.
“Alright now, let’s go on this journey.”
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