Intro
What? You wanna know what this book is going to be about? Let me introduce myself first. My name is Darba. It’s a fucked up name. You wanna know why it’s fucked up? Because it fucks YOU up! LMAO! Sorry for the bad manners, but seriously I’m not the baddy. It’s not my fault they’re dead. It’s my pleasure. My thrill. My sex. My games. My love. My happiness. My hate. My anger. My... you know how it goes. I just love fear. I feed upon it, I live on it. Now you’re probably thinking ‘What the fuck is this book about?’ or ‘This doesn’t make sense’ or ‘I’m not going to read further’. Good. I want you to be confused, pissed off or whatever. You’ll get to know me once you keep reading. Now don’t cry, I’ll explain the book for you now. Should I? LOL! I love teasing you. I love getting you confused. I love getting you frustrated. I especially love getting you scared. I love how you keep reading, it’ll only give what I want to achieve. Oops, I think I let out a secret (wink) (snigger) I’m a weirdo now, huh? Well fuck you if you think I’m a weirdo, you’re the fucking weirdo for reading this. That probably didn’t make much sense but who gives a fuck. I’m not a weirdo. I’m more advanced than you; I’m more intelligent than you. I’m better than you at EVERYTHING! (PUNCH! SMASSSHHHHHH!) Now look what you’ve done. You’ve caused me to break my mirror. You’re probably thinking ‘What does Darba look like?’ aren’t ya? Why do you want to know? You won’t wanna know! LMAO! You probably don’t know what I’m talking about right now. That’s because.......you’re a dumb prick.........LOL! You should have seen your face when I said that, LOL! Yes, of course, I can see you. I’m joking, I’m joking, don’t cry. (Yawn) I’m getting quite bored now. I want to play. Do you want to play? If you do, keep reading. If you don’t want to play, I’ll come for you. I’ll knock on your door and I’ll wait. I’ll keep waiting and waiting. Soon, you’ll come out to play (smile). See, you’re making me happy, awww. I like happy. I like excited. I like sad. I like angry. I like curious. I like excited. I like....... I said I like excited twice, didn’t I? I DON’T LIKE MAKING MISTAKES! STOP READING! STOP READING NOW! YOU’RE CAUSING THESE MISTAKES! STOP YOU FUCKING FUCKER! I’LL KILL YOU! WHY ARE YOU STILL READING THIS YOU SICK BASTARD! STOP! STOP IT NOW! I’M ANGRY! Hold on...I like angry (smile) Sshh, keep quiet. The story is about to begin soon. YAY! You’re going to love this. Believe me, you will (smile)
