Early childhood mermareis
The majaroity of childhood memories is lost inside my brain. Maybe they are too painful for me to remember. All I know is that most school kids that was in my class was always “happy”. From early on I felt different from other’s kids my age. Have you ever heard the term “old souls “. Well that’s what I believe about myself because the kids around me was laughing, playing games and eating all the candy they could consume. Not me there’s was nothing in my life I could smile or would bring me laughter. My light was dim earlier in life. I just knew when everyone around me was happy I would just ease out the room or even disappearing act. I couldn’t get the jokes . All I wanted is explanation why my mother didn’t like her baby child and why I convinced myself she wasn’t my mother.
Therefore my childhood was awfully painful. As I got older it got worse. In fifth grade I remembered my teachers wanted to have a conference with my parents. She handed me the letter to take home and I busted out crying and she asked why you crying? I just said nothing . Apparently she must have guessed because before it was time to go home she pulled me aside and told me not to worried. She only wanted to let my parents know how well I’m doing....etc.
My mother wasn’t happy to hear my teacher’s asking her about if I was getting enough rest at home. Because she didn’t feel that’s wasn’t their concern . If that wasn’t enough they told her in their opinion I was scared of her and maybe she could explain why ? My science teacher Mr. Johnson look at me and notices the tears running down my face without sound . He stated that in his class I was one of his favorite students. He said I always participate in class and it was a joy to have me in his class this year. I knew what Mr.Johnson was doing it’s what all the men in my life did “protecting me “. That’s what my brothers and my daddy would try to do. It nevertheless she didn’t care about nothing they said I had to pay for embarrassing her and whatever I told those teachers was a lie.
Yeah I was the blame and I have people thinking she wasn’t letting me rest . So her resolution was I did to come home do homework,eat, and go straight to bed.But that didn’t last for long because I had chores. I had to water the garden and clean anything she could think about at the time. My legs were aching so badly I sat down for a minute. She saw me and told me to get up so I could take this big white bucket of water to my brother. I did but my legs hurting and now my arm join in on the pain. That is where I learned to handle pain and that trait would become valueable later on in life.
