ANNE 057

I was excited yet vigilant. I had successfully completed by Theory and Training for moments like these. I put my black training pants on, the long-sleeved t-shirt, then the black short-sleeved t-shirt and the jacket over all this. I checked for both my knives and felt them in their correct place. After shouting “You can come in,” Tom entered the room, as I had never seen him before. He looked so handsome and mature wearing the uniform. He smiled at me and asked if I was ready.

“I don’t know,” I replied.

“Wise thing to say, we’re never ready because…”

“…we never know what can happen,” I continued his phrase. “Don’t remind me of that,” I whispered before leaving the room. He followed me with the steady walk he was so known for. My heart suddenly felt like shrinking, as if someone was squeezing it with both hands. What is that feeling? What’s wrong?

“Are you OK Tom?” I asked, worried.

“You’re nervous and it’s normal. You know I’ll watch your back. And yes, I’m just fine.” His voice was relaxed, yet strong.

We joined the rest of the unit and had the usual briefing session before every one took their positions. There were a total of 50 windows; all of them 1.30x50. My task was to get in the window 4x8: fourth floor, eighth window from left to right. Once inside the building, all I had to do was to cross the hallway and join Tom, who would be outside the computer room. The door wold open thanks to a small-scale, low-damage bomb previously attached to it. This procedure over, we would enter the computer room and get the files needed. That should take exactly 15 minutes: no more, no less.

While we were doing this, another agent pretending to be the night guard (the real night guard lying unconscious on the floor) would contact the company director, saying the building was being robbed. Once the phone call made, the same agent would make an anonymous call to inform the police of a robbery. They would be there in place approximately 10 minutes after such call. The director and the police would both state that nothing had been stolen and therefore assume that the robbers had realized it was not the right building. No-one killed, no material stolen. As for Tom and I, once the information had been found and copied from the computers, we would take the stairs to the basement, look for hostages, take them with us (if any) and leave the building. We had no more than 10 minutes from the time we left the computer room with the documents to the moment we left the building. It was a matter of synchronization and preciseness.

Seen like that, it was a piece of cake. We had met repeated times to tackle what could possibly go wrong and had trained together for a full month just for that mission. Most men in the unit were experienced; 20 years or so of service. I told myself they were used to it and felt deeply relieved when I saw how confident they seemed to be. What could they be thinking of? Some of them had wives and, although not many, some had young children waiting for them to come home that night. I looked at Tom and found in him no longer a kid but a man: strong, confident, ready.

We got into the cars and drove away from the base. In the car we joked around for a while to then fall into an awkward silence where we all thought about what they taught us in Training: you are never truly ready, because you never know what can happen. It was my second mission and I could feel bubbles in my stomach going up my throat. It was a weird sensation; not uncomfortable but not comfortable either. We got to the building and separated. I looked one last time at Tom and smiled back to him.

The mission was going very well; I was confident yet accurate in my moves. Once we heard the popping sound, we entered the computer room. I looked around and when I turned to look at Tom, I found him kneeling down. My heart stopped. I took my weapon out and silently walked towards him. When I was close enough, he turned back and looked at me.

“What are you doing?” he asked me while I was pointing at him with my knife. “Sorry, I thought… never mind.” I smiled and knelt down next to him. We got the files on time and headed towards the staircase. Third floor, second floor, first floor, ground floor and finally the basement. Tom walked on tip toes right behind me and I could almost feel his gun touching my right ear. I cautiously opened the door trying not to make any noise. The basement was completely dark and dead silent. Tom got his flashlight out and put it against his black trousers. He then switched it on. There came enough light to see where we were going but not enough to be noticed in case there was an unexpected guard. We searched the basement: door after door; corner after corner. Nothing. There were no hostages. It was only when we were about to leave the floor, that we heard a cracking sound behind one of the first doors we had checked. We looked at each other and then our watches. Four minutes to leave the building; we had to double check that the place was empty before we stepped out of it. We approached the door in complete silence. I gently pushed the door open and a rat came out running out of the room, stepping on my shoes. I felt scared but relieved. I turned around to find Tom’s gaze. I would’ve smiled if I hadn’t seen the silhouette behind him… Jack Steeler, the most wanted criminal at the time.

The next thing I heard was the sound of a gun shot and saw Tom’s head covered in blood, with a hole between his eyes. The dead body fell to the ground making a violent snapping sound. The man behind him raised his gun once more and shot me, to then calmly walk out of the room. I crawled down to the floor and reached for Tom. I took his arm to turn him around and found myself in a pool of blood. I started shaking and screaming. I didn’t care about being silent anymore, I didn’t care about being killed anymore. I took his face in my two hands and pleaded him to wake up, knowing that he was gone. It all felt so unreal, so sudden, just impossible.

Two men came running into the basement and two more soon after that. I felt a hand grabbing me from the arm and dragging me away from Tom. I desperately shouted as if trying to hunt that nightmare away, I tried to get up but a pair of hands stopped me.

“Let me go! Tom! Tom!” Those were the last words I pronounced before my speech was cut by an intense pain in my left shoulder. I could hear people shouting to each other. I could also hear someone talking to me but I couldn’t focus. All I could see was Tom’s face covered by that bright red liquid and his empty eyes wide open. The pain was breath taking. A familiar face came close to mine and slapped me twice. I came back from the strange place I’d been: a place where time had stopped, where I felt no longer myself. Where I felt I had also died.

“Listen to me. You’ve been shot. I’m taking you back to the base.” His voice was detached and his stare was serious: that’s how I knew he was worried. He continued, “Yes. I am sorry. Tom has died.” He didn’t say anything else but firmly took my hand and kept it in between his two hands. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek to then fall down on my hair. Everything went black and silent.