Prologue
Prologue
I stare at the ceiling listening to the clock tick. Is this what meditating is like? I mean I watched some ad that said focus on the blue dot and then it said, ‘Congrats! You just meditated’. I’ve also heard meditating gives you a sense of peace. So when someone is dying, you can say they are meditating?
Damn, guess I know what my last words are.
If it’s true, meditating gives you peace I mean, then I guess I can say I’ve found peace. In this very room… which so happens to be the Dean’s office.
Ha, get it. Cause the Dean’s name is Dean. Okay, I didn’t actually make a joke, the Dean’s name is Michael, but I just wanted to see if you were paying attention.
Michael who unfortunately happens to be reprimanding me, again might I add, “for getting into a fight for the third time this week”. It’s not even that bad compared to the more privileged at the school.
Not my fault bitches are pressed about my amazing hair.
I look down from the ceiling to Michael. I reposition myself, so I look like the respectable young lady I am. “Okay Michael, I wasn’t paying attention, so Imma need ya to re-say everything you just said and make sure you don’t cheat me on anything.”
He says he hates when I call him this but I also happen to know he likes to feel young and when he was our age he wanted to be able to connect with kids. That’s why he hasn’t told Rose and he turns a blind eye to what I do. I mean, everything I do is justified anyways. The bastards I beat this week are all idiots. The first one was being sexist and harassing a couple of girls. Then there’s this kid, Mica. He’s super smart and athletic, always getting bullied but never does anything. Always takes the high road. I know that he’s going places soon. This prissy white bitch was going off on him and I was tired of hearing it, it didn’t help that I had a headache. And today, well, the guy was asking for it so I did just what he asked.
“Miss Hale, Rose and I-”
“Wait, what?!” I interrupt. Michael doesn’t seem too surprised that I did. “Rose didn’t know anything about me fighting. You said you didn’t tell her,” I say, anger rising.
“I didn’t tell Rose. She seemed to already know the information,” Michael says with an accusation in his voice. I know he wouldn’t outright tell me but he hints to certain things and I usually pick up on them. So when Michael says Rose already knew, I know exactly who told her.
“I told you on Wednesday that if another fight happened this week I’d have to tell Rose and you would be expelled.” Before I can protest, he says something that intrigues me. “I have already spoken with Rose about your expulsion and she told me to tell you, that ‘she is still fostering you’. I have also spoken with Rose about where you should go now that you can’t attend our prestigious school and I told her of a school I went to when I was your age. I gave her the information and you will be leaving by the end of the week.”
I know I should be asking more important questions but instead I ask, “Isn’t today Friday?” Michael just shrugs. I sigh, my hands rubbing my eyes. “Okay, nice knowing ya Michael.” I stand up grabbing my backpack and walk towards the door. I slam it behind and walk to my dorm to pack my stuff.
The walk from the dean’s office to my dorm was not long enough to get away from Rose. She has that mother’s intuition thing going on and knows I wanted to be alone while walking, but the minute I step through the doors of Memorial Hall, she texts me how I want to get home. Rose still respects boundaries which is the most I can say for a foster parent or person in general. She knows I have this anxiety about talking to people, I hate it. Even when someone is close to me, it takes a lot to even text them that I want something. I text Rose I’ll take the bus or Carlos’s car.
I put my phone in my pocket and let the black box scan my ID, stepping into my dorm suite. Kayla is in the kitchen baking up a storm, literally; Carter playing video games and her twin Maia on her laptop. Usually the dorm suites have 6 or 7 but we host overnight tours so there are two empty rooms. As I walk further into the house Maia and Carter acknowledge me.
“Hey Indigo.”
“Come show the boys how good you are.”
I laugh and walk to the kitchen. “Hey Kay, whatcha making for my going away party?”
Kay snaps her head up. “Alcoholic cupcakes for Brandon’s party. And why are you leaving?”
I slide onto the stool and take a swig of the Henesy. “Finally got expelled. Leaving tonight.”
“Oh shit, that’s tough. Where are you going now then?”
Although it may seem like Kayla doesn’t care, she just won’t talk about her feelings to anyone unless it’s her brother or her best friend because they know everything about her. So I know she’s going to miss me because we’re roommates so we’ve gotten close but Kay will play it off until she can’t any longer. Until she explodes. I’ve seen two of hers and had my fair share of them, but I don’t like talking about my feelings. As much as I hate to say I need something for someone, I’m more of a physical person you could say. In more ways than one, if you know what I mean. I also use jokes as a coping mechanism so that’s great.
“No idea, some school that Michael went to.”
“Wait, the dean?” I look at her as if to say no shit. “Okay. I heard that the dean went to some reform camp during the summer and I guess it turns into a school for more permanent and “harder to break” delinquents. I don’t know why you would go there though because you’re not even that bad.” We both laugh.
Okay, so here’s what’s wrong with that sentence. Everything. Looks can be deceiving Kay and I guess I did a good job of it because I am not good. I am that bad. I mean if you look at my record, it isn’t the cleanest. If you talk to the people that know me, they’ll say it too. Okay, that may be an understatement. And there’s still stuff missing from my record because I don’t get caught. But there are still worse records, definitely. Like I said in Michael’s office, everything I’ve done is justified. That doesn’t mean everything off my record or even some things on my record but for the most part, I’ve done things for good reasons. I mean Malcolm X, hello people.
“Yeah well it’s chill. In and out, I just have a year and a half left of school. It’ll either be really easy or super hard but I’m thinking about the latter though.”
Kayla stuffs her face with a peanut butter cookie, “Okay that’s good. Lemme know if you need help packing.” I nod my head and walk to my room. Obviously I share with Kayla but we’re never there at the same time so I forget there’s another side of the room. I sit on my bed looking around my room. I click my tongue- which Carter hates- and think of what I should pack first. Being a foster kid, I’ve learned to not get used to having stuff but once Rose decided to foster me, she let me get things.
Which, okay that might seem cool “she let me get things” but to a kid that hasn’t grown up with anything, always having to fend for themselves, being allowed to get something out of your own choosing is the best!
I only used a suitcase, my friend’s army duffle and my backpack. I’m pretty sure I have the least amount of things throughout the entire school. Some people thought I was under-prepared while others thought I had people bringing up my stuff. I mean if you look at all the other kids here, they brought two suitcases, a duffle and lots of boxes of stuff. Then there’s Kay and let me tell you she is special with her two king size suitcases, an army duffle bag, and 12 big boxes. I’m pretty sure she’s still getting things imported half way through the year and it’s January.
This shouldn’t take too long.
I start with my clothes inside my closet. Everything is organized from short sleeve shirts to jeans.
Don’t ask why I do this? Okay don’t question my question! I see your judgemental face.
Soon enough, everything is packed into my suitcase, duffle bag and backpack. It’s gonna hurt like hell to carry all this. I move my stuff to the door and look around to see everyone gone. The kitchen has the shot cupcakes, cookies and more bottles of Vodka on the counter. I went to the kitchen to see Kayla left a sticky note. ‘There’s something in the fridge for you. XOXO’ I opened the fridge to see Kay made a container with food and one with the stuff she baked and a ginger ale, vitamin water and regular water inside of a bag. Another sticky note on top reads, ‘Care Package’. I close the fridge, slide my backpack over my shoulders and walk out the door with my stuff. I walked down the street until I hit the bus stop. I look on the paper and search for the next stop. I just missed the first one so I’ll have to wait an hour.
Great. Yeah, no that’s not what’s going down. I refuse to wait an hour when it’s almost dark out. I can steal the car, get an uber? Or lyft? Or a taxi? Okay, there are no taxis in Massachusetts!
I take my phone out my pocket and call for an Uber.
“Okay, this is it,” the dirty blonde haired girl that drove says.
I smile at her, “Thank you so much.” Hey, just because I’m a delinquent doesn’t mean I don’t have manners! I step away from the car, my suitcase and duffle by my side as the girl gets back into her car and drives away. I turn around and walk towards the three floor modern white house glowing in the starless blue-grey sky.
