The Fine Art of Bullshit
Edalyne Slinger, the resident party animal and high school tik tok baddie, was drunk. She was intoxicated by the 50 shots of fireball lined up on a table. It was all flooded down but things had been rocky for her! She warranted a little fun. She didn’t want to commemorate the day anyway. She hadn’t had the full 50, no, that was for everyone there. But she took a good 13. She had been isolated at that party besieged by protective fans and people she had met and bid on short notice. Even though it wasn’t her party, the host didn’t mind having so many influential people in their house. While bobbing alone on the dance floor simply vibing with the celebratory Roddy Rich music she had come to love on her social media, Many a man had come to her with offers of ‘how much?’ but she had just snubbed and told them to go away. When they left and moved on to an easier target, Edalyne wasn’t sure if she should have been more comforted or wounded. But whatever! It was senior year and she didn’t have to go to college with her social media influencer career taking flight the way that it is. Edalyne doesn’t worry about anything. That bluffing spirit was what made her such a star. She the starlet of the screen was charismatic and confident.
When Edalyne left the party, she pitched out the door rather ungracefully rather than what her fans would usually see through their phone. But she didn’t’ care. She just needed to get home. But as she was strutting down the sidewalk out of the New York City flat in the middle of an expensive neighborhood, a limousine pulled up next to her and rolled the window down. And while usually with any other car that might have pulled up beside her, Edalyne would have kept right on walking. But she could tell a rich man from scrub and this was no ordinary rich man but a rich man with taste. Good taste. it was not that the man had a limo and a chauffeur, but that the color of the car was exquisite. A sweet mauve limo with black wheels and blacked-out windows. Edalyne suspected not even the passengers could see-through windows so black.
As the window came up, so did her guard, however. Edalyne went still and waited for the strange man to speak. All he did was tell her to get in his car. The way that Edalyne saw this unfolding was that he was going to kidnap her so she stayed put and dared not move a blink. When the man then showed her name in a text from someone named Ronan. An odd name, even for this decade.
“How did you find me?” Edalyne inquired suspiciously, frowning at the man who seemed to almost change age. As if he were the same man but trying to find the most non-threatening look to give her.
“Ms. I mean you no harm. A friend of mine wanted me to pick you up, as he is busy and offered you quite a sum of dineros to come and help him with a project he said. he also told me that he would give you a sum as soon as you got in the car with me. Do you recognize the name Greysmith?” Grinning up at her, the strange-looking man reached up with his slightly younger-looking hands to pull off a mask. And indeed it was her old friend, whom she had sent a text to a few days back from Spain to hurry up and get his ass to New York so that she may speak with him. Only he would offer her dineros instead of dollars. Dorian. Strange boy. Well since he was rich and basically Spanish royalty, she’d better play it up for the photographers at the party, documenting every detail to post on social media. “Babe! Oh no, you shouldn’t have! You flew all this way in a romantic gesture for me! From Spain? Dios Bebe! I missed you! Tell me all about your flight!” And with that Edalyne was in the limousine making herself comfy and smiling for the cameras before rolling the windows up. And kissing her best friend on the cheek.
“Babe? Sweetie, you’re my everything, and I might be a little under the influence of you and that smokin body but you are under more than just one influence yourself,” he said while making a show of looking her up and down.
“Oh shut it you lout,” squealed Edalyne as he pressed closer and flicked her nose. “I only said that because I wanted the news to my now ex-boyfriend that I had moved on and upgraded. Which is why I called you. I needed someone that I already had a strong connection with, to help me send a message to that boorish idiot of a model, that I can move on quickly too. And while he’s with Ms. Number one singer-songwriter in the nation, I will be with the heir to the Greysmith fortune. And I’m living in luxury with my dogs in an amazing palace with you in the city. And you’ll buy me expensive clothes and jewelry and then whenever you have to go back to work you’ll just take me with you.”
In response to Edalyne’s ridiculous plan, Dorian just shook his head and laughed. “You’re serious about this then?“ Dorian asked when Edalyne didn’t laugh with him.
“Super serious… have I ever joked with you?” Edalyne snorted and reached into the compartments in the center table to grab a few candies and pop them into her mouth.
“Alright then. Baby girl. Let’s hit the road. To my place. Ronan? Please do hurry to the island. And do call the paparazzi. We want this arrival at the boat to be big.” And when Edalyne looked up at him in confusion, he only responded, “you aren’t the only one who’s rich and famous now.” then he whispered slightly softer into her ear making it appear to Ronan that they were just lovers enjoying an evening ride to the cottage in the thousand islands, “I know that there is something else you’re hiding from me. And we’ll talk about it when we get to the house. But until then sleep. Lean on me and act happy. I’m only willing to do this because you’re the most exciting thing that’s happened to me yet, you’re drunk, and you’re hot. So sit tight little one. It’s a bit of a drive. We will talk later. I will find out what’s bothering you so and bring it to justice. For you. Until then, sleep tight babe.”
“Wow you don’t bullshit do you.”
“You’re just jealous because you haven’t mastered the fine art of it yet.”
