Gossip, a very interesting thing
I am dealing with absolute children. I have noticed that over the time I have spent after my hormonal imbalances and the very ugly side of adolescence, I am quite proud to say that I have matured. If I were to encounter this situation a few years ago, I would've been panicking, to say the least.
I am not a very comforting person, that, I know. It actually gets me somewhat annoyed and irritated when people get overly emotional. Dont get me wrong, I do know the effects of mental illness. However, I do not like it when the people around me go through this ugly side of growing up. They over react, they do not think, and they justify their actions for whatever reason. This is why I hate it, the fact that they simply "need to grow up" in which all fairness, I believe in.
Its very pathetic and childish, to think that teenagers nearing adulthood are still acting like children. I would very much like to help, though my views are quite different. Honestly, I do pity people with mental illness and would support them. I do believe that to get through a mental illness takes time, effort, and support. I respect that.
In the views of a 15 year old, which I am right now, I sometimes think that the people around me are children. The views, the perception, they're all so different and inherently childish. For example, getting mad at your parents, I think that is all fine and dandy, however teenagers do over escalate to the situation and forget to think, to understand the essence, the reason of why things happened and why things are happening.
Some might say I am inherently insensitive, that is true. Though, when you think about it, the world doesn't revolve around just one person. It's a whole system of whoever's on top and thats just how life is. I am still a kid, I understand that I still do not know many things in life. Though, I think this will open my eyes to a wider spectrum of reality. A measly kid, nothing special.
And so, why am I talking about this? It's because I am disappointed.
My seatmate taps my shoulder, it's too early. "Hey, did you hear?", his eyes shine with excitement. "What?" I turned to face him. Gossip, a very interesting thing, I must say. It spreads around with a key phrase, 'don't tell anyone'. He comes up with a whisper and leans close, you know, we're the only ones in the classroom because its too godamn early.
"Lindsay and John are dating! They're making out right now at the janitor's closet! I saw them."
"I'll bet 10 bucks she'll get pregnant soon." He snickered, I stood up and he followed suit. This is my friend Luce, Luce Friend. An awkward boy I've known since third grade. He's taller than me, brunet hair and blue eyes, he's quite good looking, but also awfully boring. But his name is quite amusing, having a family name of 'Friend' and all that.
"But James! We're only 15!" He says with a tone of disbelief.
"Yup, that's the point, we're 15 year olds, and maybe fucking seems cool, I dont know." Me and Luce went to school this early just to catch these two people in the act, they are stupid, but hey, its entertainment.
We walk towards the Janitor's closet, just beside my locker. Silently, we approach the closet, and the sounds of panting gets louder. I lean my ear against the door, oh, I can hear them alright. Jesus, damn, they really are going hard. I wouldn't be such a dick and take a picture and disturb them. Except, I am and that's what I did. Plus, this is very interesting. This is what I meant, these children, they're not even thinking. All passionate about love and all that shit.
What followed was the click of a camera, the scrambling of wearing clothes and a punch on my face. Wow, he socked me hard as I felt my body hit the ground.
"John, I do hope it is in your best interest to not hurt me 'cause I fucking swear to god I'll spread this shit I've got on you." I stood up and Lyndsay was behind him.
"He got you good." I felt Luce pat my back. I rolled my eyes at that.
"How much?" I smiled at John when he said that. Maybe he isn't that stupid after all.
"400 for the video and an extra hundred for the punch." I could see his face turn red with rage. John afterall, is one of the most famous kids here, with a good reputation to the faculty. Almost everyone adores him. Almost. This would be such a disgrace on his part if the picture would spread. He wont be able to report it, that would reveal everything. He wont be able to tell a lie as well, I'm not the only one who was able to see it, Luce was there. I also made sure Luce was secretly recording everything. I took us around 2 weeks to plan for this, we had to know when and where exactly would they fuck the next time they saw each other.
"Fine, give me a week." He glares at me and walks away, with Lindsay beside him.
Luce chuckles, "Nice, I can afford that new game console now." Ah, Luce can be so stupid as well, the first thing he thinks was buying a console. He didnt even think of what his parents would think when he takes it home considering he doesn't have a job. He doesn't even save shit, dumbass.
"Yeah, you go ahead, I'll take a piss."
That was a good hunt, big-time. Soon, I'll be holding 500 dollars. I wash my hands after taking a piss, I dont know why some of my classmates dont. Absolutely disguting.
Classes went on as usual, except the glares from the couple this morning. We also had a new student named Jimmy or something, I dont really care. He'll probably get bullied and he'll whine how he doesnt have friends then he'll meet a bunch of nerds the same as him and they live happily ever after.
Luce had a dentist appointment this afternoon so I had to go home alone. I decided to not go home yet instead, well, I am a teen, shouldn't I be rebellious? I sat down at a cafe, did my boring homework and scrolled down on some memes and shit. I opened my diary, a virtual one, titled, "Thursday, January 20, 2016" I put the photo and video there.
The streets looked nice when it's starting to get dark, the people change. The 'bad apples' of society appear. The drug junkies and 'cool gangstas' or whatever. I take this as a cue to go home.
I was walking down the street, blindly letting my muscle memory take me home. I hear a shuffle down an alleyway, probably a cat. But after it was a soft whimper, sounds like a human. I make a detour and take a peek. I see two figures, the one standing over the other. The standing figure turns around to see me, looks quite familiar. The figure talks, a boy's voice, "Like what you see?" The other figure was laying on the ground.
This was it, I could feel my emotions jamble out of order. This should not be happening. "Keep calm", I said to myself. I am in control of my feelings, definately. Oh shit, it smells like blood. Fucking hell, I am in serious trouble. But oh boy, am I a fucking idiot as well.
"No, not really."
"Well then, James, what will you do now?"
Wait, what? This guy knows me?
"I am hurt that you dont recognize me, as I am a new student in your class."
"Jimmy?"
"Bingo!"
It's the fucking transfer student. That bitch. This is not happening, holy shit, fucking bitch. He's a psycho.
"Why? What? How?"
"Because I wanted to."
"You're a fucking psycho."
"I am not the only one."
He points down my pants. Wait, no. This is just the result of my hormones. I am not hard because I like it. It's just puberty. Someone just died for fuck's sake. I hate this. This is just Jimmy's ugly side of growing up, right? He was just in the middle of puberty.
He chuckled, "James, be a dear and dont be a tattle-tale, or I will do unspeakable things to the people around you."
I ran home, my mom was clearly worried. I went into my room and locked the door. I dialed on my phone with trembling hands.
"911, what's your emergency?" I was about to talk until I receive a call, an unknown number. This was another moment of my stupidity, I stopped the 911 call and answered.
"What did I tell you, James? I said, dont tell anyone." A hint of murderous intent on his voice.
"You- you'll kill me next, wont you?" I was already on the verge of sobbing right there and there.
"Oh no, you're very interesting James. You're the first one I found to find a murder..." a short pause, "...pleasing."
"No I dont! You're fucked up!"
"Then, I suggest you take care of your little trouble."
The call ends there. Please tell me, that this is nothing but adolescence. I did not think Jimmy was beautiful, with blood smeared on his face. The smell of danger and mystery. His black curls framing his face and that stare, the goes right through your soul. I knew I was bisexual but this is getting out of hand. I did not just fall in love with a psychopath. It's just puberty.
