Forget This

There’s a bag full of pastries in front of me. I choose the one with chocolate filling first. I lift my arm into the air in a signal of surrender and drop the entire thing into my mouth. Munching down onto little bones chocolate blood pastry skin. A powdered donut next but first i slide my tongue over it’s surface and allow the dust to cover my lips. Jesus my brain is clanking against metal and there’s this clock on my wrist that keeps fucking clanking along as well. Katherine had this clock that projected the time onto the ceiling, Katherine had all of the best things, and the people with all of the best things die first. All of us attended her funeral and I buried myself under a pile of leaves and fell asleep that evening and woke up to a dark sky and wondering what time it was. A thick lemon jelly escapes my mouth, splashes onto tile. I’m up to my knees with this overwhelming smell of chaos and imitation Italian. I’m the monstrosity, the heathen, the king of everything. Three was always my favorite number. As a mother I cradle Jameson. Two gulps to insure death. If your blood pressure soars there’s always laughter. One knock is enough I guess. My chest rises and falls- a tsunami i feel down to my toes except for the three with frost bite. Besides I’ve forgiven him for that anyhow.