GOD

Praveen wouldn’t let boredom step in... for he is still under the pangs of the huge profit he made. From this deal, I am off to the next deal. There is no place for normalcy and idleness in my life. He says.

He has been more of his father in terms of his obsession with numbers. He had learned to count before he learned alphabets. His clarity with numbers surpassed his alphabets. His father took pride in this while his mother brooded over the same. But yes, he was more of his father’s son who had a Midas touch and hence the name, Praveen, which means ’an expert in everything’.

Praveen is in his mid thirties and stays alone in an apartment in Trivandrum. It is November and winter is early this year. His pensiveness is reflected in his eyes, fixed on the half-filled wine glass on the coffee table. It wasn’t wine, but vodka inside. Apart from the reflection, his eyes remain numb, leaving no clue to be traced or read. His nails tap out a tattoo on the glass. Eight shots of vodka down, and he sits lazily on the carpeted floor, leaning over the sofa, of the drawing room that opens to the balcony which provides a panoramic view of the urbane glimpses around. The interiors of the apartment are minimalistic, and business-like to the core. The sitting hall has a 65 inch LCD Television which is his trading floor. The elegance of the room hides his character so well, that one can mistake his drinking for pleasure.

The calling bell disturbs the drunken serenity of the moment, and wakes up the dreaming senses. He can’t help hold back the sigh that escapes while he gets up and moves to open the door. He pauses for a second, looking at the black pajamas he is in. Like the black, he too smelt mystery. Mystery would be a hype though. All of us do wear masks, but his has been different...it is made with more of brains, and less of heart. Logic appealed more to him, than emotions.

Normalcy has no room in my life, he says all the time. Mostly to reassure himself that all that has ever happened in his life has helped him to create the present, which itself is a perfect reason to rejoice. He has been through tough phases twice and has successfully moved past it. He has worked as a coolie in a parcel service agency, and has been a driver to a Sindhi family in Mumbai in his days of hardship. Since then, he has been extremely positive with his outlook towards life because he knew beyond doubt that no one can defeat him unless he loses his will to fight.

Praveen’s reassurances are just done intentionally to smooth over his emotions, so that they wouldn’t pop up for a while and he would stay in his logical mode. He has never attributed his drinking to coping with sadness. In fact he drank to feel more good, more happy. And vodka, he says, is not just for the vulnerable, for he has been the antonym of vulnerability for a long time, ever since he broke up with Diksha. He has been responsiveness to relationships for quite a long time, even before the break up. He has developed a frozen attitude to emotions and has remained aloof from everything that might trigger them. To him all it meant was physical intimacy. I don’t make love, I have sex, he says.

Praveen loves puzzles and has always been crazy about solving them, which in turn has made him an elegant puzzle, hard to be contemplated and digested, far from being solved. He is still definable enough, but his rough, dark eyes hid the same with much eloquence, maybe on purpose.

The doorbell rings for a second time and he stumbles to the door whispering, ’This can’t rustle in me anymore.’ As if like topping thoughts over the spoken thought, he goes back, empties the half-filled glass when the bell reaches him again. He hastens to open the door, kicking away the pillow on the way.

’Sunil!Oh, it’s you,’ He leaves the door open and walks sluggishly to occupy his previous posture to reclaim his comfort.

Sunil walks in, locking the door behind him. The enigmatic air takes leave of Praveen while he is united with his long-time friend. Ever since he has given up his job at Techo park Biz, one of the multi-national giants around, Sunil hasn’t been on good terms with him. MNC, He terms as, Monkey, No Claps! He was an HR in Techo park Biz for three years.

Sunil looks stunned, rather stoned.

’Hey! Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me like this!’ he says, letting out a laugh to which Sunil stays unresponsive. ’Come on, Sunil. Your eyes remind me of a guinea pig’s. I wouldn’t experiment on you, my friend.’

Passing an awkward stare at the emptied vodka bottle, Sunil holds on to his temper and asks, ’Is this what you had given up your career for? To end up in jail? Didn’t you just manipulate the market today?’

’What illegal thing did I do?’ Praveen takes a pause before continuing, ’I don’t do that on a daily basis and you know that too well, Sunil. Don’t make a hype and overreact as usual. You ain’t any good at that and it doesn’t compliment you in any way. Moreover I just said those shares are going to appreciate in price very soon. What’s wrong with that ?’

’Yes, you gave news of a share’s appreciation to almost all stock traders through mail. So that when they try to buy the share, the demand would increase which would make the price of the share rise, and your information would look true. I am sure you made a bomb in today’s trade as I know you hold those shares in plenty.’ Sunil says in a blunt tone.

’I don’t want to strike back with the same blows. It is just that I needed to exit the share. I ought to do this once in a while or else my trading buds will be at loss.’

’As if you still have them in your kitty! You are a crook!’ ’Stop it, Sunil. Have you come to make me an epitome of ethics? Are you not ashamed to do that in spite of enjoying my luxuries time and again. You haven’t come to play satires on me, I hope.’

’I just thought of visiting you to know whether your craziness has subsided and whether you are interested in a new career, which is legal.’

‘Why do I need a new career when I am damn passionate about what I am doing now? Don’t you see my bank credits rising?’

‘What the hell makes you think you have a consistent flow of money? What kind of financial stability does your stock business grant you? You need to have a career, man. You have the potential to reach such career heights! You’re not supposed to waste your talents on this money business alone...’

’I don’t beg or bargain. I just use my brains and make sure that they work in accord to keen intelligence.’

’While chasing money, you would lose the prosperity of relationships, just like you lost Diksha. Why can’t you be more sensible and act like a human-being?’

’Excuse me, Sunil, I am being a human-being who knows how to apply my brains,’ his tone leaves Sunil in disbelief. ’Two years back, when I quit my three year old career, I was damn sure that I didn’t want to do it anymore. I was tired of the sweat that I shed for money. And yes, it was cold sweat... for the air conditioned cells wouldn’t let the sweat run its way.’

‘But, you had a stable job.’

’You wake up in the morning to grab formal wear from the wardrobe to rush to the cab to reach the cell to go for another rush through a series of this and that only to catch the cab back home after a hectic mech-life at work.

The excitement ceased for me soon after I started this. I had to stay with the job for a long time for a five digit credit to be added to my bank account every month. For another six months from the day I was relieved from there, I loitered and slept away until the credits reached a four digit mark. And then, I realized that there were better ways to make money. All you need is to put your brains to it, and stay relaxed. Money is all that I ever wanted, then and now.’

‘What the hell!’

’I revived my long lost obsession with numbers and focused on the economics of it. Money substituted numbers, and I am playing on the track. What the hell is wrong with that, my friend?’

’There is a very thin line between gambling and trading.’ ’The share market is the place for the ones who have got the brains.’

’Man, have you gone nuts? Have you got any idea what you are saying?’

’Before moving on to the next lecture, you better understand that calculations and monetary benefits thrill and excite me like nothing else. I am vigorously in love with the art of reaping money. And stupid, I am not doing anything illegal. Make sure that you leave your moronic traits home, when you visit me the next time.’

Sunil looks bowled over.

’Even this vodka can’t excite the way money does,’ Praveen says politely, glancing at the emptied bottle. ’It only eases the remembrance of flashes from the past that I have forgotten otherwise. I want to relive the whole thing to start over again. Floating along the waves of such flashes, I learn to swim and conquer my heart, letting it go with the lust and longing for money and mathematics.’

As a child, He remained indoors, shutting himself in and exploring more with numbers while children of his age were engaged in sports and other games. After graduating from a college in Dubai, he didn’t mark anything extra- ordinary. All he knew was that he needed to spend a couple of years in Kerala, his hometown to get a tinge of the ambiance of his roots. There were the usual arguments with his dad and he left to Mumbai for the odd jobs. Few years later he came back home and a brief stint in an MNC.

’The wisest decision I have ever taken was to quit the job for that was the commencement of everything that lightened and enhanced my life. Money wins me everything that I am in need of.’

Sunil doesn’t feel insulted, for he loves him so much and has an admiration for Praveen.

’Making money is fine. But, why can’t you do that by just means?’

’I haven’t opted for any worst means. Share market is the playing ground for intellects who are good at economics. I invest, I win. What makes you think it isn’t just means?’

’Money won through easier means won’t stay for long.’ ’It isn’t any easy Sunil. Believe me, there is no rich man

in the world who was just lucky. There is no fool in the world

who’s made money. Making money is an art. And I am an artist.’