Artistry

The sharp autumn winds threw his hair in every direction. He didn’t want to be outside, only, smoking a fag was his only respite from the apathetic, miserable ass who was inside. As he was nearing his last drag, he saw to silhouettes walking, holding hands, illuminated solely by an orange streetlight the opposite side of the parking lot. He cynically thought ‘honeymoon phase’ to the two people who seemed in love from over two-hundred yards away. He took another drag before slightly singeing the tip of fingers.

‘Fuck’ he exclaimed.

As Shaun tossed the fag but away causing a small explosion of sparks, he smirked.

‘The miserable bastard has finally made me as cynical as him’ he whispered to himself.

To flee the cold, he headed back to the flats. He turned to look at the couple who he had been unnecessarily judgemental too. They were barely visible, being consumed by the black horizon -under the deep blue night sky - which might have been a forest during the day; it looked like she was now leaning on his shoulder now. That made him happy.

He scanned his key card on the door, it didn’t work. A few more times until he decided to just yank the door hard enough to open. It rarely worked as it was meant to, during the day the residents keep it open with a brick during the day.

As he put the key in the hole, he took a breath before opening it.

‘Whoa! Who the fuck is there?’ his barely functioning alcoholic dad yelled from the living room, clearly being woken from a light whiskey nap.

‘Its 1am. Don’t yell.’ He said calmly yet firmly from the hall. He peered into the living room to see him laying uncomfortably on the couch. He took the cheap bottle of whiskey from the floor which was within arm reach from his father. ‘Go to sleep, I have work tomorrow’

His dad grunted before rolling into an even more uncomfortable position.

‘... and just because you need to sleep on the couch doesn’t mean you need to sprain every muscle in your body.’

Technically it was today, he had to be up in five hours. That thought stressed him a little, so he took a few swigs of the most tasteless scotch he had ever had to help him sleep. He had no intention of staying up this late, but he had gotten into a rough with his dad which lasted a few hours. In truth, he felt bad, he had a two-bed council flat but before his dads most recent divorce the other room was his study and he wanted to keep it that way. Maybe he should just give him the room...

But no. if he were to give his dad an inch, he would take a mile, he needs to get back on his feet, not be handed a new comfort zone. And Sarah had already been giving his grief about not wanting to come over because his flat now stunk of whiskey and sick.

He took another swig and was now starting to feel a bit relaxed as he brushed his teeth, even if he wasn’t about to go to sleep, he always brushes after smoking. His mouth felt disgusting.

While walking to his room he took one last swig and he had almost finished what was left in the bottle.

As he sat on the edge of his bed, he put the whiskey bottle on the counter. He looked over at the book on his counter ‘Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire’, the same book he had been ‘reading’ for almost a year. Like most nights he looked at it and debated reading it and reached the same conclusion he did most nights ‘I’m too tired, I’ll go to bed early and read it tomorrow’. The truth was that it was hardly a page-turner and he probably was only reading it to keep up the delusion of thinking of himself as an intellectual. The truth was he should have given up on that delusion when he dropped out of a mediocre university.

After that thought he finished the bottle and turned off the bedside lamp, the only difference between him and his dad was a job, a girlfriend and a little order. It was after that thought he wished he had more whiskey. But what he had drunk was enough to knock him out before he could think more self-loathing thoughts.

His first alarm blasted, and he slammed the snooze, he always gets through at least 3 alarms before getting up. The 5 minutes between their sounding when he doesn’t get up is sweeter than the finest hash or purest cocaine. After the second his dad came in with latte.

‘come on kid, I want you getting to work. I’m too old to deal with winter on the streets.’

That made him laugh a little, it was the only time of the day when his dad was the person, he remembered from his childhood. Before he was drunk. The truth was he was a good person, just exhausted and an angry drunk. Knowing his dad’s story, Shaun couldn’t hold much against him. Nigel was an orphan, raised by his abusive catholic aunt until he was old enough to run away. He became a father at the age of seventeen and worked twelve-hour days six days a week to support his young family, he developed a drug and alcohol addiction to get him through the day which led mum to fall for someone else. Still, he persisted and remarried twice and after his most recent divorce, he finally cracked.

‘thanks, dad’ he said taking a sip from the latte.

‘get dressed, you’ve got work in an hour. I’ll make breakfast.’

Shaun sipped his coffee squinting at the sun rising over the forest, wondering if the couple from last night got home safely. Suddenly he smiled, he checked his phone to see if Sarah had messaged him, not to his surprise, there were no texts. His smile evaporated. He sent her a simple message of ‘morin beautiful, how’d you sleep ;*’

When they had got together 3 years ago it had been a race to see who messaged first in the morning, now they barely messaged once a day unless they’re meeting up.

His rusted body got up and stumbled to the wardrobe to get his work clothes and a towel.

After his morning ritual, he came into the kitchen. Fully dressed, while his dad was finishing frying the mushrooms in his dressing robe. He gives his dad credit where he deserves it, he’s and excitant chef – as you’d expect after it being his profession for over 20 years. The kitchen/living room had the aroma garlic, onions and sausages.

‘if you cooked more it might cover up the smell of whiskey’ he said facetiously

‘shut up, son’ his father retorted with a smirk ‘I could stay at Rich’s and have a room and you wouldn’t have breakfast’. They both knew his best friend rich wouldn’t appreciate the open bottles of whiskeys scattered around the house; especially with a new-born. But he didn’t press it.

‘Thanks for the breakfast, dad’ he said sincerely, followed by ‘sorry for yesterday, I just don’t think you should have a room to destroy until you at least have a job... or pay rent’.

His dad laughed ‘I’m not getting a job! Do you know how much I’d have to pay to the witches!’ he said chuckling

‘volunteer at least, you can’t spend all of your time drinking’

‘just watch me’ he chuckled while stylishly serving their breakfast.

The rest of the morning was pretty standard, his dad droned on about football and Shaun paid lip service to being interested. For the sake of his social life he watches match of the day most evenings but truthfully, he loathed the sport. The only exception being the world cup which he enjoyed. Nigel always used to throw big parties for all the England games when he didn’t have work.

After breakfast, he left for work the orange sun beamed overhead. His apartment is east facing so he always has to walk towards to the rising sun; mornings, where he drunk the night before, are always the worse for having to face down the giant searchlight in the sky.

The drive to work is the same drag it always was, he was cut off twice and flipped off once despite not being entirely sure what he had done to piss the person off so much. He was twenty-three, he was a supervisor at a local store which specialised in organic, ‘ethical’ food. The pay was good for his position, but he wanted more from his job while weirdly wanting less. He didn’t want to progress more than he already had because that would make what he’s doing a career, he could relate to his dad breaking down and giving up and his dad was seventeen years further along with his life than him. Suddenly, his thoughts turned to alcohol.

Customers at his work jumped between three polar different demographics people; smug middle-class people who convince themselves the chicken they’re buying is more ethical and tastier because they’re buying it at triple the price; hippies who only eat fruit and think it makes them superior just because when it was bought it wasn’t wrapped in plastic despite it all being wrapped when it arrives, we just remove it to please them and the rare down to earth person who tries to buy as ethically as they can without letting being a personality trait. One part of him liked all of them, what little faith he had in humanity came from seeing these groups of people all try to do their best. He tries to shut the more sceptical part of his brain up.

The first half of his day went the same as every other, delegating to his co-workers, helping customers, training the new member of staff all so that the manager could have more time to spend on his dating app. He was already practically the manager, but if he stopped doing extra work then the real manager will take out his sexual frustration on all of the members of staff so its best to expect as little from him as possible.

On his lunch break he checked his phone to see if she had replied and as he expected, nothing. After he had had his lunch, he thought of just ending his break early, he had so much to do...

Until Ollie burst in with a dumb grin on his face. ‘what are you sulking about this time Shaun, did they close the bridge you like to stand at the edge of and cry’. Ollie was a good friend; Shaun had gotten him his job here because otherwise he would have just waited until he was headhunted. That would have taken a while.

‘Na, your mum has upped her prices and honesty mate she ain’t worth it’

‘Oooo, was that a mum joke. I thought we left them behind along with our gentle voices and virginity’ he quipped back fast as ever while enjoying a little chuckle. The dumb grin never changing.

‘speak for yourself, I don’t sound like I’ve smoked a few packs a day for years and I haven’t seen Sarah in a few weeks’

‘Come on bro, its not as fun when you do it to yourself’ he said with a hint of fake sadness ‘you know how lovely I think you are right?’ he said while lightly grabbing Shaun’s hand. Shaun couldn’t help but laugh at his best friend who never aged past 13, but he wouldn’t have Ollie any other way. ‘Come out tonight. I think the waitress at The Greyhound is finally warming to me, she flirted back the other week.’ Really, ‘The Waitress’ was called Liv and was Ollies first girlfriend who he is still close with to this day. Ollie around 6′1 and quite classically handsome with thick blond hair, Shaun remembered how sad Liv was when she had to leave him because he didn’t put any effort into his future.

‘Poor girl, alright I’m in. Is Mike about?’

‘Why am I not good enough’ Ollie said sternly, leaving no doubt that he was joking. All Shaun could respond with was lifting his eyebrows and looking away awkwardly as if to say no. Ollie giggled, ‘Na mate, he’s workin an early tomorrow’

‘ah I see, so I was your second choice after Mike’

Ollie dropped his smile and said as flatly as he could muster ‘never compare yourself to mike, you’ll lose every time’ he then laughed and went to leave the break room.

‘Oi, where u going’ Shaun said confused.

‘I’m not on break, a lady asked me to check round back for more almond milk’ he said cracking up.

‘twat’ Shaun said repressing a laugh while clearing up his lunch.

The rest of the day was just as predictable, aside from covering up a complaint made by some wife of someone who lives in the wealthy part of town about his incompetent friend. Before long he was closing the store and looking forward to having a few drinks, the days he shares a shift with Ollie are more bearable, if only a little. Despite this, when closing the store, he always needs to tell Ollie to stop flirting with the girl on the register and mop the floor. Working with a loveable, lazy buffoon cuts both ways.

As the sun was setting, they were ready to leave. He asked his two co-workers Charlotte, the girl Ollie was flirting with, and Joe, the new employee if they wanted to join the for a drink. Charlotte said she was busy, but Joe was interested so Shaun locked up and left to walk to the pub.

He and his friends shared so many fond memories of The Greyhound, it was a beautiful pub by the river. He remembered when Mike, Liv, he and Ollie shared their first illegal beer when Ollie got a fake ID - a school friend’s dad owned the pub, so he was always a bit more lenient. He also remembered his eighteenth birthday and sharing his first legal pint with the same group and his girlfriend at the time.

This is his town; he knows nearly everybody and despite spending two and a half years in university he had never really left. Weirdly this made him sad, reflecting on his past he had so much more life and energy. The world was magic, he hadn’t experienced everything he had now to turn him into a cynic. As walked down the path nearing the river they needed to reach to get to The Greyhound, tuned back into what Ollie and joe were talking about.

Joe had just graduated from University and wanted to stay nearby to where he studied so he moved here. Though it is more difficult to meet up with his University friends than they had thought when talking about how they never wanted to split up now that they were all working. Ollie was being his usual cheery self, telling joe that it would be easier to meet up once they al settle down and asking about his music degree.

He was about to join the convocation more when his phone buzzed.

Sarah had replied ‘heyxxx sorry busy day, we still up for dinner tomorrow? Xxx’

He decided to screen it for a while, she waited twelve hours to reply so he should at least wait an hour. He wondered if he was being petty but neither of them replies immediately anymore, plus they were long past their honeymoon phase and this as just a normal part of a relationship.

Shaun waited for a dip in the convocation which was hard when one of the people talking was Ollie – though it would also be right to say he was the only one talking. Since Joe was a little sad realising that his best friends for the past three years are drifting apart it didn’t take to long. ‘So how are you liking Whilshire?’

Joe hesitated ‘I really like it, though I miss the active night and social life. Its very different from city living’ Shaun inferred that Joe probably liked it less than he let on, it’s a big difference to where he’d been living other than the industrial district half a mile down the river next to the river it is really quiet. Though the abandoned warehouse does have the occasional underground rave.

‘Yeah, it’s no London. Or Manchester, but it’s not without its charm.’

‘I’ve never been Manchester, what’s it like there?’

‘it’s a lot of fun, it was where I went to University. Trust me I know how you feel; the post uni blues. You’re still close to your friends so hopefully it’ll be easier to stay in contact with them.’

The sun had almost set past the copses the other side of the river when they finally reached The Greyhound. It was always a sight, a huge four-story farmhouse, the blue fairy lights around the white picket fence make the beer garden look cosier than the other pubs in the area. The garden also has an expensive kid’s play area which invites families and less rowdy clientele than its competition. The area surrounding the pub is illuminated by the warm, inviting orange light from the interior. Before even entering they could hear the hearty chuckle of a fifty-year-old man who is probably enjoying a Saturday night with his family. No other place in Whilshire makes him feel more at home, even Joe seemed to lighten up. The only thing which took away from the warm building and the smells and gentle sounds gifted from the river is the grey industrial building silhouetted not far off – even that gave it a brutalist charm.

As they walked in they could see a few groups of middle aged people, a couple he recognised from the shop any that recognised him gave him a smile. Liv was behind the bar; she was washing a pint glass as she noticed them enter ‘Shaun! Ollie!’ she exclaimed excitedly.

‘hey Liv-ely’ Ollie said with a smile. Liv-ely is a pun he had been using since primary school, she never fails to roll her eyes at it, but never tells him not to because we all know she likes hearing it from him. In Ollie’s defence he couldn’t call her Olivia since his name is Oliver, when they were dating Shaun and mike always called them by their full name. ‘this is Joe, he’s new to work... and Whilshire. So I decided to show him the ropes, I’m kinda like a father to him’.

Knowing Ollie, she looked straight at Shaun and said ‘well that was nice of you’

‘Joe this is Liv she’s an old friend. She used to get us pints with fake IDs, now she catches teens who do the same, what has time done to you?’ Shaun joked with just enough pity in his voice to sound sincere.

‘Hey! I’m still cool, I only kick kids out if they’re bellow sixteen or if they think they pulled one over me. And if you want your discount, you’ll remember that’

‘Tsst, tsst, tsst. Disappointed...’ Shaun and Liv laughed.

In a flash his woes were distant memories; Mike, Ollie, Liv... they all allowed him to forget his problems and briefly be the less cynical innocent person he was five years ago. Joe was warming up, telling funny stories from his time in University, with Ollie and Liv it was almost impossible not to feel involved in the conversation.

A few hours passed and it wasn’t long before closing, Joe had to leave before twelve because he was working tomorrow but none of them wanted to leave. He only had, at most, two days a week where he could go for a drink and it was rare when three members of his childhood friend group could meet up.

‘one sec, need to take a piss’ Shaun said, suddenly feeling the weight of six pints on his bladder.

‘bad luck, the men’s room is closed after what mike did last time he was here’ Shaun and Ollie gave her a funny look ‘I’m joking, Jesus. Just not about the toilet, I would let you use the ladies, but I don’t trust you’ she smiled

‘god’s sake... ill have to go near the factories. Can’t get caught pissing around a children’s playground’ unsurprising, Ollie burst into laughter