Yasmine
Some of Sara’s greatest discoveries were made on the threshold of fear.
Like the time the tide almost took her, and she didn’t know how to swim. As she was lifted out of the water by her father, the relief was not enough to overcome her fear, and she vowed never to return to the beach again. It was then that Sara discovered just how small she was in the grand scheme of nature.
Or like the time when her brother almost clouted her because she almost broke his iPad. Sara cowered in horror when she saw his pitch-black eyes filled with anger and his fist raised over his head. It was then that she discovered the depth of her brother’s blazing fury, like a wild fire devastating all who crossed it.
Or like the time Sara felt her heart could have burst out of her body when she approached the field line to take the last kick. The title of State Soccer Champion title fell on Sara and all she could envision was the disappointment of her team mates if she choked. In the end, after letting out one heavy exhale, she stopped fretting and let her body take over. It was then that she discovered that, on the other side of fear, she could feel invincible.
Today’s fear was different. Her entire extended family bustled around the reception hall – some taking photos with the bride and groom, others carefully carrying delicate bouquets – each aunty, uncle and cousin were brimming with excitement. Meanwhile, Sara slumped on her seat, pouting and directing a sour look at her sister, Yasmine. Sara remembered all the nights they would stay up together talking about useless things, the early mornings her sister would jump from the top bunk to the ground and keep walking as if she hadn’t pulled a muscle in her ankles; the moments they would always fight for the last packet of noodles left at the back of the cupboard; or the hot nights they would throw their pillows onto the ground and sleep there together because it was better than enduring the sweltering mattresses.
Yasmine turned 22 just a few months ago, and today she was getting married. Sara did not admit it to anyone, but a sense of dread overwhelmed her whenever she thought about that. Yasmine, 3 years older, had been there through all of Sara’s life.
Sara enjoyed Afghan weddings: the solemn Nikkah ceremony, the intricate and beautiful Henna, the memorable Knife dance and the catching of the bouquet all added to the happy spirit of the night.
Thinking back to her sister’s Nikkah, Sara felt bittersweet happiness. When the Sheikh completed the ritual with some verses from the Quran, she had watched with awe at his reverence and sincerity when he asked her parents and Yasmine for the bride gifts. Sara and everybody cheered and danced. Afterwards, one of her aunties approached her and smirked, “It’ll be your turn soon Sara.” And the sense of dread became deeply rooted in Sara.
Currently, her thoughts were interrupted with a nudge when the guests all cheered, smiling at Yasmine and Sara only a few seats away from each other. ‘Oh yes,’ she thought, ‘the bride and sister dance.’ A sentimental dance filled with love and happiness to celebrate the bonds of sisterhood.
The two siblings stood across one another on the dance floor. Sara took her sister’s hand and swallowed the nervousness building up in her throat. The bridesmaids and groomsmen danced around them as the Afghan music pumped through the speakers. Yasmine smiled and moved her hands to the beat of the music just like Sara had taught her. Sara relaxed her shoulders and took deep breaths to calm down as she spun around and never let go of Yasmine’s hand.
She pulled her sister close, with slightly shaking hands, speaking to her over the loud music, “You look beautiful sis”.
Her sister smiled mouthing a “thank you” and pulled her close placing her other hand on Sara’s back, “May god grant you the day where you wear a dress much more beautiful as this, Sara”. For a split moment, Sara’s heart stopped and an image of her in a wedding dress flashed in her mind but it was gone as fast as it came in.
She smiled at her sister, “Let’s hope that isn’t anytime soon”.
Yasmine laughed and spun around facing Sara again, “When the time comes, you’ll be ready. I just know it.”
Sara shakily laughed, “Thanks sis but tonight, it’s all about you.”
Yasmine closed her eyes and spun around as Sara danced around her. She was right, she was always right.
Her sister’s words clouded Sara’s mind with questions about responsibility and growing up. ‘Everyone is different.’ She thought, ‘Just because Yasmine got married at a young age and she is still at Uni and works a lot, doesn’t mean that I will have the same life, right?’
Sara pushed her focus to the dance drowning in the music and her sister. Yasmine will always be there to support her.
Only minutes had passed after the dance and she was waiting for Yasmine to throw her bouquet. The girls around her cheered as she caught the bouquet.
All her cousins squealed, “So Sara, when are you going to get married?”
She rolled her eyes and smirked, “Not any time soon.”
Sara still felt a sense of dread at the back of her mind but covered it with her sister’s words. All she saw when she looked at the bouquet in her hands was keepsake. A keepsake for change.
