Ashes

Memories turn to ashes, but there’s still a fire inside me that refuses to die down. “Mom! Dad! No!” The little girl shouted tears pouring down her face. The fire shot up in blazes of red and orange, unforgivingly swallowing everything in its path. “Isabella! Isabella? Where are you?” Her parents shouted. The little girl sat in a corner her head between her hands. The whisper she kept hearing could have made her head explode. “Phoenix….Phoenix” It would not stop. “Stop! Leave me alone!” She shouted.

“Stop!” My eyes shot open. I looked around. Aunt Mabel sat at my bed side. Her flaxen colored eyes tired, her honey colored hair left open. She must have rushed in. “You ok honey?” She gently caressed my cheek. The house wasn’t on fire, but I started sobbing uncontrollably. She put her arms around me. “I killed them! ….”

The next morning we sat at breakfast. I didn’t eat anything. There was complete silence at the table. “Another nightmare?” Uncle Danny sighed. “It’s getting worse.” Aunt Mabel said. I stared at the burning stove. Fire.

In the afternoon Aunt Mabel was baking a pie. The oven stoked with fire. I sat in the living room, staring out the window. The neighbors were having a barbecue, I could see smoke rising from their backyard and the smell of charcoal was strong. I had never met the neighbors; they seemed to be having a good time. Like a real family.

I suddenly smelt something burning. I turned around to see that the oven was up in flames; my eyes went wide as my heart started to race. “Aunt Mabel! Uncle Danny! Come quickly!” I managed to shout. They both came rushing in. Uncle Danny quickly got the fire extinguisher out; while Aunt Mabel made sure I was ok. After the fire was out Uncle Danny sighed and turned towards us.

“Again!? Last time it was the couch! Before that the fridge! What more must I replace? She can’t control it!” He said pacing around the room. Aunt Mabel fiddled with her wedding ring. “But Danny, she didn’t mean to do it.” She protested. “I don’t care! What if-what if she harms us…” He said nervously. I immediately stood up. “I didn’t ask for this curse!” I yelled and ran up to my room. I sat in a corner and cried. I remember when I was young Aunt Mabel used to send me to a psychiatrist, to see if he could help. I remember what he told me.

“Isabell, you have to relax. Let it go, you can’t hold on to the past.” He said. I turned away. “Do you know what being resilient means?” He asked pushing his glasses further up his nose. To my eleven year old self, the word seemed alien. I nodded no. “Being resilient means that when something bad happens to you in life; you don’t let it drag you down. You get back on the saddle of the horse called life and continue your adventure. Resilience building is important; you must learn to conquer your fears. You have to take what is holding you back and move forward. You can learn to be resilient my child, if you give it a chance.”

I can’t. I can’t do that. Not after what I did, what happened. Aunt Mabel walked into my room. She comforted me and told me Uncle Danny didn’t mean what he said. She has always tried to convince me that this was a gift. I never believed her, I hurt people. Gifts are supposed to make people happy. “I also wanted to tell you, that we are having the neighbors over for dinner. I thought it might be nice for you to meet someone your age.” She smiled wiping my cheeks. I looked up at her. “No, I don’t think that’s such a good idea. What if they find out what I am?” I asked. “What are you?” She asked. “I’m a monster…” I whispered. She rested her head on top of mine. “No, you are special. You are kind and beautiful. You have your fathers enchanting emerald green eyes. And your mother’s penny colored hair (shade of brown). You’re brave and strong, I know you can get through this. Plus, the neighbors already know, Gene is a good friend of mine, I met her while we were visiting your psychiatrist. She had to go there because she had to take her son. Gene lost her daughter five years after her birth. Her death made an impression on her son. So in a way; he’s just like you.” She finished. Yeah, I thought, except I was responsible for my parents’ deaths.

Aunt Mabel told me to change my clothes, since we had guests arriving. I wore a drop shoulder top with jeans to look somewhat humane. I heard the bell ring and made my way down stairs. A very sweet looking couple walked in, Aunt Mabel had told me that the pretty lady with red hair was Mrs. Lockwood, and the tall, good looking, broad-shouldered man was Mr. Lockwood (her words exactly). They both greeted all of us and vice versa. Then after they stepped inside we saw that their son had been standing behind them. He was wearing a red hoodie with jeans. Coal colored hair. He had his eyes glued to the floor, and his hands in his pockets. I supposed his parents forced him here, just like Aunt Mabel and Uncle Danny forced me.

We all sat in the living room. The adults talked about adult things while we both stayed quiet, other than the usual ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answering. Our eyes met once, that was when I noticed he had wonderful crystal blue eyes. Aunt Mabel suddenly clapped her hands, it surprised me. “Isabell, why don’t you take Daniel to your room?” She suggested. I nodded my head. We both got up and made our way to the stairs, I could feel everyone’s eyes on us as we left.

“So, what do you want to do?” I asked leaning against the door as Daniel stood by my bed. “You don’t have to pretend everything is ok.” He said looking at me. His expression somber. His statement surprised me. I felt a lump in my throat. “You’re right, everything is not ok. Things don’t make sense, I-I can’t control it! The whispering!” I slid down to the ground, my back still against the door. “What do you mean?” He asked. I looked up at him. He doesn’t know? “Your parents didn’t tell you?” I asked. He shook his head.

“Some call it unique, some call it a gift. I call it a curse. I was born with….abilities.” I said. Daniel sat down next to me on the floor. “What kind of abilities?” He asked. I clenched my fist, when I opened it; in the middle of my palm was a small flickering flame. I waved my hand and the fire floated off my palm and into the air. I made it swirl around the room. Then I made it stop in front of Daniel and molded it into a rose made of fire. His crystal eyes reflected the light of fire rose, his lips slightly parted in wonder. I sighed, clenched my fist once more and the flame disappeared. “You can make fire.” He said nonplus. “Yes, I can make fire, mold it. But my emotions hinder my control” I said. “But why are you upset.” He asked tilting his head. I stayed silent for a moment. “When I was ten, my parents….my parents died in a house fire.” I squirmed. At first Daniel looked confused, and then he understood what I meant. “You-oh…..I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” He said. “It’s fine, this is a curse; I hurt people.” I said looking at my hands. I was about to continue when Daniel stole the words from my mouth; “People expect you to move on. Leave the past. But they don’t know how painful that is. They don’t….” “Understand” We said together. I looked at him. “I heard about your sister. I’m sorry.” I said. His gaze turned to the floor. “Ella. Her name was Ella. She died last year. She had a heart attack. We were playing in the lawn and she suddenly fell. I rushed to her and carried her back inside. She was only five years old.” His chin dropped to his chest. “Sometimes I wish it was me. She should have lived. Ella was the best sister anyone could ask for.” I saw tears run down his face. I gently put my hand on his shoulder. Something suddenly popped into my head.

I wrote something in the air with my fire. Satisfied with my work, I tapped on Daniels shoulder, before looking up he quickly wiped his cheeks. I pointed towards my small display, I had written Ella’s name in a swirly pattern and surrounded it by flowers. All made of fire. “You were wrong.” Daniel said. I turned to him. “You can use your powers to make someone happy, you just did.” He said and smiled. I smiled too. It felt nice. I hardly ever smiled after the incident. But I guess having someone who understands you makes you feel less alone. By the look in Daniels eyes I, could tell he felt the same.