P A I N
As I'm walking home from school, I cant help but notice the sound of police cars approaching. I turn to my left and a police car races past me, startling me. I wonder if my dad is in one of the cars.
More and more police cars drive by filling the air with the sound of their sirens. I look ahead to see that they're all stopping and my curiosity gets the best of me. I hold on to the straps of my backpack and run up to where they're all stopped.
There are about fifteen patrol cars surrounding a grey pickup truck. I'm smart enough not to get too close so I watch from afar. I can barely make out what the officer is yelling:
"Driver! Turn -- the --- --- do it now!"
All the cops have their guns pointing at the truck. I wonder what they did. The officer said more, I was just unable to make out what he said.
After about five minutes of yelling at the people in the truck, they finally get the driver out of the truck. I still cant hear what they're saying, really, so I start to creep a little closer, careful not to get the guns pointed at me. As I step closer to the back of one of the cruisers, I hear a pop. Then another then more and more and more. Holy shit. They're shooting at each other. I run to the back of the car and duck down. My ears are hurting so bad; I shoot guns but I always have protection. Now is definitely NOT one of those times. I slowly poke my head past one of the tires and I see something that would change me forever.
There are two officers dragging another officer across the street. I think he got shot... I stay there watching everything play out. This is really scary.
I turn my attention back to the officer down and I see one of the officers doing CPR on him. My eyes start to sting with tears. I cant imagine what would happen if that was my dad. I feel so bad for his family. I hope he will be okay. I'm not quite sure what possesses me but suddenly I'm walking up to them to see if I can help.
"MAAM YOU NEED TO STEP BACK!" one of the officers yells at me.
"I can help. I'm certified. Yall need to get back out there" I say back to him.
Suddenly I'm picked up from behind.
"Alexa you need to go. NOW!" An officer says putting me down. I turn to see his face. Officer Ramirez... my dads partner.
"I can help! You know how much I want to help and I know how much the other officers need your help." I yell
"Alexa go. Home. Now." He says sternly.
"Why do you want me to go so bad" I say walking toward the officer down. I said I was going to help so I'm going to do it.
I walk over and get on my knees next to the officer. Then I see it. I see him. I stand up and take a step back. It cant be. No. This isnt real. It's not him. It cant be.
I can't stop the tears rising in my eyes and they soon start to fall down my cheeks.
I lunge out and try to hold onto him.
"Dad! Dad please breathe. Please dad you cant leave. I need you daddy please!" I scream. "No! Dad!" I say sobbing
"Alexa.. come here" Ramirez says putting his hand on my back. I've been paying so much to the officer- well, apparently my father- that I hadn't realized the guns had stopped firing.
"No! No I'm not leaving his side! Just like hes not leaving me. Right dad? Right? None of this is really happening right? Please dad. Wake up! Please!" I scream. I raise my hand to his cheek. This cant be happening. I look up to the officers standing with their hats over their hearts or their hand on their eyebrow saluting.
I look back down at my dad and I cant help but brush the hair out of his eyes. "Please dad. I need you. Please daddy this cant be it. I need you. I cant go on with out you. I cant do this without you dad" i say sobbing. I cant believe that this is it.
I put my head down to his chest holding onto him. I cant leave him. If i dont leave him, hes not gone because we will still be together... right?
I stay down holding him in my arms.
"Alexa, its time." Ramirez says kneeling down next to us. I look up to him and through the blur of my tears, I see his eyes are bloodshot. He had been crying too.
"I cant. I cant leave him. Not yet. I mean there is still something we can do, right? I mean this isnt it right?" I say looking down at my dad then back at him. Tears still flowing like heavy streams down my cheeks.
"Alexa come on... its time to go" he says choking on his words.
I had been so focused on my dad that I didnt realize there were medics standing around with a bunch of equipment. Wait this means...
"Yall can save him!" I yell standing up and backing away to give them space. "Well?!" I say motioning for them to help save him.
"Alexa..." Ramirez says
"No! They have the equipment. They can save him! WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE. SAVE MY DAD!!" I scream "SAVE HIM! WHY ARENT YOU DOING ANYTHING?!?"
"Alexa, it's too late.. hes-" he says choking over his words "hes-" he clears his throat "Alexa hes gone. Your dads gone." He says grabbing my hands and looking me in the eye.
All I can do is stare at him. I cant do anything but stand there like a damn fool.
"No..." I say shaking my head "he cant be. That's my dad. My dad is so strong. Nothing can kill him!" I say stuttering.
"Alexa I'm so sorry" he says wrapping his arms around me.
I cant do anything but cry. Everything in me shatters. I can't stand any longer and I fall to my knees. Ramirez is still holding onto me so he fell when I did. We sat there holding each other. Me, a complete mess and him, trying to hold it all together.
Lord, if you're out there, please let this all be a dream.
