The Godess assistant

Im going to die. I've known for about a month that I was going to die. In fact im choosing this route. I'd rather die then take a human life. I'd rather slowly die than drink blood.

Its alot harder to think that way when your organs are dissolving and your puking out blood. But even though Its hard to remember why I'm letting this happend. Its not hard to remember that theres a reason and that's enough for me.

MONSTER. My head screams.

Just hurry up and die already. I think to myself my teeth chattering. I dont even remember stumbling

Into a field of dry dead grass. Deadend by the lack of rain for years. but thats where I find myself to be. Blackout? Thats another sign. I knew what ive become. What I've been trying to lie to myself about. But seeing as I'm dying I feel like its time to get everything off my chest. I struggle to my feet and make my way to my favorite place.

A shrine for the goddess of war, ukalilay. Its alittle like a hideout. Only worshipers with a special tattoo can enter.

only the followers of ukalilays can see the tattoo. If you dont have the tattoo you cant get In. But as far as I know... theres only one follower left. Me.

After six years of no sign from the goddess everyone feared another god destroyed her. And when the land ran dry of water and food that seemed to confirm all their fears. they all left. There tottoos disappearing. And the memory of the cave as well. But I didnt forget.

I cough and spit blood out onto the grass. The taste in my mouth metallic. I take a deep breath and continue to the shrine not to far away now.

Across the lake of whispers. Around the forest of fear, you'll find a small cave. If someone were to try to enter the cave they would suddenly find themselves walking in the other direction with no idea why they even came this way in the first place. Unless you had the tattoo.

I stumble into the cave.

On the inside its huge. Almost as big as a ball room. Stone seats engraved at the side of the cave. Small red lorgs(1) floating around the large area. Lighting up the whole cave in beautiful red twinkling lights. In the very back of the cave sat the crest of the Godess carved into a stone tablet. Painted most likely by an old priest at one point, red and gold. Smoke commimg from small holes in the floor making the room warm and cozy. Gold paint was engraved around the cave in an old language of the gods. A waterfall gushed at the side of the room forming a tiny lake the size of a small spring. Tiny plants floated around the surface. The lorgs float through the water lighting up the underneath.

I drag myself through the cave and collapse in front of the giant stone tablet. And cough up blood onto the floor. My throat closing up. my vision blurs.

"Ive sinned" I gasp my body screaming for blood.

"And now I will die for it" I sit there for a second wondering what I was even doing. What the point was for anything. The godess was either dead or just didn't care. So why even pray for forgiveness.

I shake my head, my whole body starts to shake.

That sets me off and tears started pouring down my face.

To think I even questioned ukalilay! Especially now when I'm in her shrine asking for safe passage into death!

"IM GOING TO DIE!" I screamed which strained my already dying vocal cords and a hacking and sobbing fit started. Blood flowed onto the floor and not just from my mouth but from my eyes and nose as well. I could feel it creeping into my body. The dread for what was going to happen to me.

So this is happening.

Im actually going to die.

I'll never see my family again. I'll never get to say "I love you" to them.

I'll never find my love or even have a first kiss! Because im going to die.

You wanted this...

I think to myself. And my sobbing gets louder. My heart pounding so loudly I clutch my heard trying to supress the sound of my life ending. My thoughts seem to be flying.

You did this to yourself

Nobody would care if you were gone..

Your fault.

Your fault..

YOUR FAULT...

"NOOOO" I screamed "ITS NOT..." my whole body shakes and something snapes. Pain evlopes my body. But all I could do was lay there and cry blood.

"Oh dear" I hear someone sigh from inside the cave

"What do we have here?"

My sobbing quiets down and I turn my pounding head towards the source of the sound.

"And here I thought I was the only follower left" I gasp in suprise as an old lady wobbles her way towards me.

"Oh so theres not many left then?" The old lady sighs looking away.

That seemed kinda odd. Surly she knew about the hardships of this country.

"Surly-" I start but she cuts me off.

"You can tell me about the worshipers later on. For now please explain to me your sins you were going on about earlier"

Even though my body was dying and screaming and aching for her blood I couldnt help the fact that my face heats up at the fact that she heard me being hysterical the last few minutes of my life.

"Im afraid there wont be a later for me. Im dying you see." I said to the old lady. She looked to be almost 80.

"Hmm" she huffed and wobbled to a stone seat not to far from me.

"Then please tell my how you came to be in such terrible state!" She settled down and looked at me.

I took a shaky breath and told her.

I told her how a month ago everything was changing. The land was becoming worse and worse throughout the years and my family had finally decided it was time to leave. We were one of the last ones to abandon this region and that was only because of my continued faith that ukalilay would come back. I told the old lady about the huge argument me and my mother got into. How I screamed she couldn't make me leave. How I screamed "I hate you!" Right into her face. And how I ran away that night when I lost the argument. And that night. A starving creature came to me in the dead of night. and bit me. I told her about the extreme pain. Worse then the pain I was feeling now. I described to her the face the thing made when it greedily sniffed the air and smelled something better and left me dying on the ground. I told her about my horror when I realized I wasnt dying but changing into that thing. How I thirsted for human blood. I told her about the research I did and found out what I would need to live. Human blood. I found out one of the only ways for a vampire to die was to starve. And here I was. Starving.

"You would rather die than drink from a human?" The old lady interrupted puzzled. Throughout my whole explanation she sat quietly and listened intently. Even when I took small breaks to cough up blood she remained quiet.

"What is it that confuses you?" I say to her just as puzzled. Was it so strange to not want to murder.

"Seems a little ironic considering you worship the godess of war" the old lady laughd one rough laugh. For some reason that laugh was the least funny thing.

"I dont see the godess like that" I say quietly. My eyebrows furrowed. I coughed a little bit. More blood spilled from my mouth. The old lady waited for me to recover before asking.

"How do you see ukalilay if not the godess of war?" She mocked. But I just ignored her mocks.

"Well It's a little hard to explain.." my voice trailing off not wanting to continue.

"Try" the old lady urged the mocking tone gone. I nodded

"Well I would base her off of a baker." I gasped as my whole body started spazing out of control again. All I could do was tilt my face so I could throw up onto the ground. Blood pouring into puddles around me.

"Dont die yet!" The old lady cried out. Jumping up.

"Please!" I gasped "dont come to close!"

She nodded and sat back down. I could tell she knew I was barely holding onto my thirst.

"A baker has a job to bake. But he also has a wife and kids and friends and hobbys and so many other things" I gasped and struggled to keep my vision clear to see the old lady considering this

"But what does a mortal have to to with a godess?" The old lady questioned.

"The godess may have the job of war but I dont believe her whole entire life is based on murder and bloodshed. I dont believe she wishes for it anymore than a mother watching her son march off into battle wishes it" I close my eyes and place my head onto the warm and now wet floor. My mind drifting. Its seemed like awhile before the old lady spoke.

"Do you wish to die?" She spoke so softly I strained my ears to hear what she said. It took longer than it took the old lady to speak for me to answer. My mind drifting in and out of consciousness.

"I would rather die than kill another." I answerd carefully "I hope ukalilay will forgive me for dying inside her shrine." I mumble my body finally becoming still and my mind becoming black.

This is finally the end. I think to myself...

"Im afraid I can't forgive you for dying here tonight when I dont even know your name. It seems like you will have to live alittle longer" the old lady mused.

My mind was so far gone that I could barely comprehend what was goimg on. I did wish she would be quiet though. She was ruining my peaceful death. She was being quite loud. I heard the old lady stand up. And walking over to me. Funny how it didnt sound like the old ladys wobbling at all.

"Wh.a..." I started but before I finished a powerfull darkness washed over me and nothing matter. Not the strange old lady. Not my family. And not my death.

1.) Lorgs: a small creature that can appear in many or one colors. They only show themselves to creatures they deam safe. They float around shrines and certain people. They are drawn to people with powerful sense of righteousness. Or someone with great powers.