What is your opinion?
Review ~Itz
"Whoo! Finally! I’m here to give my opinions on this amazing work! I know you said you went back and fixed a few things, which is amazing. No offense but, when writing digitally obviously theres going to be a lot of mistakes. And I make ‘em too so it’s all good! I love the characters and how unique they are. If anything, I could detect a few clichés that were just completely rewritten into the characters personalities and I actually really like that. A few common scenarios turned, well, not so common. The only negative thing I can really say about this work is that our main character was supposed to be new to HollowsVille and Magic all together, yet he seemed to know quite a lot for an amateur. Other than that, it was amazing! Great fight scenes, a few funny moments, and an author who can portray things in a great way! Keep up the good work my friend!"
An Honest Review
"The blurb: the description sets the boom up well, it piques the interest of the reader and makes us question what it is that's happening. Characters and their relationships: the main character Eugene is our hero of the story. However, we don't get to see much of his personality or who he is, we can pick up that he has a humerous side but like the other characters, we don't see a lot of who they are. The relationships between the characters is difficult to understand, their is mention of a romantic relationship between Eugene and Liz but nothing comes of it and is never mentioned again. The other relationships are hard to tell and can cause a bit of confusion. The beginning (prologue-chapter 3): we first get introduced to the protagonist here as well as the interesting 1st person narrative. However, what I picked out from these chapters is that there is a lack of description. If more was added, then it would help build the suspense and the world which you are trying to get us to see. It is missing elements that would bring your writing together by simply adding small explanations or comparisons so we can relate to either your character or places. Describing characters is essential, so one way to do this is picking a key feature and having your main character describe it as though they are noticing the said feature. Something else I noticed, is that, it is a very fast paced story with quite a few times jumps or leaps form one place to another, so it loses that element of a journey which we as the reader can accompany your character on. By drawing out the journey and describing it and the world around them that they are travelling, we ttok can see what they're seeing as if we were the one travelling. Middle (chapter 4-7): form these chapters I once again noticed the fast paced nature. Something else I picked up on was it's untracked sense, it made it difficult for me to keep track of where i, as Eugene, was and what I was doing. Some of this came from information dumping which made it hard to absorb what I was reading.. But spreading it out and placing information strategically can significantly change the way your book flows. As for the grammar and punctuation arrors, this can be helped by using apps and websites such as grammarly. End (chapter 8-epilogue): I realised some loose ends and complications that doesn't entirely let the reader immerse themselves in your world. By reading over and perhaps putting together a rough plan/plot will help you keep track of everything so you can be sure that everything aligns so that there aren't any answered questions. With some adjustments, I believe that this could be a very interesting read. You have a very good base but it just needs some polishing up. I, in no way, mean for this to be harsh, I simply mean it as constructive criticism and i hope that you find it useful in some way. Keep up the work because the more you write the more you develop your ideas and skills. It is clear you have a passion for writing and an image of what you want it to come out like in your head, it's just getting It onto paper that needs a little work. 😊🌿"
