Promise

"Failed."

"You've failed..."

"No...."

"Yes..."

Bella cried, "I've always been a failure. All

my life I've lost each and every person I've

ever loved."

"You're nothing but a failure. You'd

promised me, Bella. You promised me

you'll keep them safe. You promised me

you'll keep harm miles away from them. I

trusted you, Bella. You were supposed to

look after them! You were their godmother." The other voice pleaded.

"They're just kids. How are you gonna live

with this? You were supposed to save

them!" The voice shouted at her.

Bella wailed continuously, while perspiring

and struggling to breathe.

"You killed them, Isabella. You killed them!

You couldn't save them! You're a killer,

Bella. What they say about you is true-

You're nothing but a heartless killer. A

murderer. You killed my children, Bella. I'll

never forgive you! You killed them!"

"No, please stop! I didn't kill them. I'd never

do something like that. I loved them. I did.

I was their mother too! I...I.. didn't.." Bella

whimpered.

"You killed them Bella...." The voice kept blaming

her.

"No I didn't kill them, please don't say that,

I tried to save them, I tried, I did everything

to keep them from harm's way. I didn't

kill them!" Bella screamed expletives

and raked her hands all over her body in paranoia.

"Yes you did.." The voice continued.

"No, no, I didn't, please forgive me, please, I

didn't kill them. Please don't say that!" Bella implored.

"Yes you did..you killed them Bells. You

killed them.."

"You killed ...."

"You..." The voice started fading....

"STOPPPPPP IT....!!" Bella yelled, waking up with a sudden jolt. Breathing rapidly she wiped the sweat off her forehead and covered her face with her palms. The ache crept in slowly and she could not bear the pain. Wrenched in by these daily nightmares she shut her eyes tight to calm her wildly beating heart.

This had become her routine for quite sometime now. Everyday she'd wake up with the same voices blaming her and ringing in her ears. Screaming at her in her mind and reminding her of her failure and mistakes.

Mistakes she wasn't supposed to commit. Mistake was never a word in her dictionary until that day. That day was the worst day of her life. That day she vowed she'd never forgive herself, in fact she doesn't deserve to be forgiven. She deserved pain. Hell, she deserved fucking worse than pain, she thought.

She's the reason they're dead. Those two angels she couldn't stop thinking about all the time, their beautiful and angelic faces she would keep reminiscing even on her deathbed. She's the reason they suffered, because she'd failed to keep her promises.

Everyday, she'd keep fighting her inner demons while they yelled at her for what she'd done and that she deserved to die. But she knew dying would be a simple punishment for her as death won't bring her any peace.

Infact living and surviving everyday while fighting these demons and many sleepless nights with these nightmares was a reminder of her deeds. And she knew this was her punishment.

She knew she'd never move on and she never will. And so she decided she'd do everything that would give her pain in every possible way, because that's her path of redemption. Only then the expiation will be achieved. She's to suffer far worse for what she did and the worst was, she was ready for it willingly.

With these thoughts, Bella knew she wouldn't be able to focus today. And if she kept this melancholic face, he'll find out she's punishing herself again and will start chastising her all over.

No matter what mask she'd put on, one look, just a single look and he'd read her like a magazine. And today she couldn't afford that. After a long break she was ready for her new mission. She knew she was ready, ready to die, to kill and to get killed. But this was a long mission and the most serious one she'd ever worked for was told to her. She knew if all her team was called and he himself had requested her to come, then this must really be a matter of emergency.

She stood up with a groan stretching her body. Vacations are over sweetheart, she thought to herself. Quickly after her morning rituals she fixed herself a breakfast - scrambled eggs, orange juice and an apple. Bella had a habit of having her breakfast before getting ready. After her breakfast she hurried off to get ready.

It was about time the world needed her. Wearing black jeans, boots with block heels, olive green t-shirt and a leather jacket, also her exceptionally long hair properly set into a French braid and as she was a no make up fan, just a tinge of lip balm and boom - the lioness was ready for her new mission and to enter the world again.