UGLY

My body is a cemetery infested with insects. Ugly, unscented with pretty words to attract or appeal. A carapace of mystery I slither further into the realm of six foot apes as their crafted smiles waver at me and make me shiver.

Lies, lies, lies

A boulder of lies to externalize why the love, the sweetness, the candied belongth not to me.

"It's not me, it's them ! Monsters, all of them.", I growl until my bones tremble and shatter. The curtains roll, I am my own audience and so I cheer, applaud and click my tongue and nod in agreement, rolling the sleeves of my worn out shirt I play pretend and act like finery.

My mind waltzing with pretty lies, to myself I still am but a mystery. I shimmer and leak from the untreated wounds on the young prince that I once was, dreaded I cover them up at every waking moment with cherry perfumed bandages and glitter and a beautiful painting, I embark on a new journey.

Ugly.

Cursed, I self victimise, internalize, externalize. And when chaos descends, my bandages quiver and fall and the monsters violate my innocence, my child. My weak self.

When needed, I curse at god, at the world, and grope with the fingers of death and dance with the beauty of nature.

Now you see me, because I speak, I think and write with as close to sanity as I'll ever be. Passing ugliness for beauty. If beauty cries, it becomes poetry. If ugly cries, if not uglier it will remain as ugly.

So much ugly