Prologue
I lay down on the cold white bed sheets. I move to adjust my position on the stiff mattress, but it's tuff, no matter how long you stay here you never get used to it. Staring at the blank walls, bored out of my mind.
"Five minutes to lights out" the nurse yelled from outside the hallway. Quietly my roommate Carlie slides into her bed across the small room. She arrived here a week after me, and we created a bond. She didn't judge me for me like everyone else in my shitty life.
Redwood Psychiatric Hospital, this is where I landed after multiple suicide attempts and my mutism . And after two month of this surprising warm and nice place it's time for me to be released. Because they think they fixed me as much as they could, they think I'm no longer a danger to myself. (Which is idiotic). Also they want me to be able to start a new life at my new school. But they thought wrong. They thought me writing down about my depression every day during group would fix me. Trying to get me to talk about how o feel and make me 'better'. But it hasn't, and now it's time for a still silent me to head back to "home" . If it was my choice I would stay here forever, not go back to my abusive father, but it's not like I have a choice. And I know I deserve everything. All the punches, the hair grabs, the beer bottles, the everything.
Because I'm the reason we lost everything.
"Lights out!" The young nurse told us as she flipped the switch to the lights, "Goodnight everyone."
And that's all I remember before my eyes close shut.
