The First Proposal

The First Proposal

Murtaza Rangwala

Note :- This my first book I don’t have any experience in writing. , don’t mind mistakes. I will feel good if you have any suggestions

now relax and enjoy the book

all the names, characters, places, events and incidents in this book are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, is purely coincidental.

All copyrights reserved©:This work belongs to murtaza rangwala and should not be copied or reproduced in any manner.

Date:- 17/05/2020

Chapter-1 the beginning

This all started in that moment felt like time slowing down itself and every second felt like a minute.

Everything around me felt so quiet and so numb that I could sense that my mind has stopped working. Thoughts that used to popup were all gone and in that only movement, you feel only her. You know that she is the only one you are looking for, she is the one with whom you can spend your life.

If someone asked me what the love is I would say this is the one. This feeling I am going through is love, because now what what matters to me is her presence in my life. Millions of thoughts round up in your mind and the most important is whether she accept you or not. So let’s start from the beginning itself....

It was that time when my 1st semester of class 10th was over. At the time I also used to attend tution where there was this girl named Kareena. We weren’t close but we used to know each other cause of the same class. I used to sit behind her during the lectures. Gradually we started talking, sharing things and slowly taking part in activities all-together. It was fun being with her, and I used to feel happy and calm whenever she was with me. Days passed our talks became more intense, so much that no one could ever imagine.

Everything was on track until one day I realised that I had a crush on her and that moment changed everything, I was happy to have her in my life but at the same time I had this constant fear of losing her. As the days were passing I tried to be normal until one day i realised that she was in a relationship someone else. In my entire life that was the second time when I felt numb and the only thing I felt was helplessness. I was all out of control and couldn’t think of anything except her.

It felt as if my world has been shattered and the only option was to wait and wait because I was in love and didn’t have any other choice. It seemed as if everything has changed and that now I am going to lose her permanently. This thought was terrible, so much that I felt as if my head was going to burst out. This is the first time I had feelings for someone and after knowing that she she is not mine I had no idea what to do about it.

It was the worst time I have ever had in my life. I felt as if I am lost in a Country about which I don’t have any clue, as if I am battling a fight without knowing who the opponent is, as if I am running a race without knowing where it’s gonna end. At first I had plans, I had goals, I had a destination and now I am a whole new blank Page.

This was half of the struggle, the other half was in school where I had to face her everyday. Controlling my feelings, my emotions and my thoughts for her was painful. It was like going to a hell fire with bare foot and body. There were mixed emotions and feelings : sometimes I feel like she is the reason to live, she is the one whom I loved unconditionally, she is the one who can make me calm and happy, but at the same time I was broken.

I don’t know why its so hard but it was worth it. She became a habit to me, looking at home and attending the lectures only to see her. I can’t even imagine a day without her. As the dates when moving forward my feelings for you started getting stronger. One day I decided to confront her but it was very hard for me as I didn’t have enough courage to do it. Maybe because I knew I would lose her, maybe because the person she chose was better than me. At last I decided to be good to her and wait for the right time.

I tryed to be better for her. I started to bring difference in myself which included changing my fashion style, hairstyle, as well as the voice tone. Even I changed my taste of songs that are used to hear. She was a huge fan of one direction and when I knew it I started listening it too. I don’t know how but I found that I have memorized the lyrics of those songs within a week. The things I have been trying to develop within me for years, she made me do in a fraction of time.

This was the impact that she had on me.

The boy who never used to study now started attending extra lectures and completing his home works on time. She was the studios one and to interact with her I had to do it. I remember that our tuition had only two classrooms. One was so big that anyone can set whenever they want to but the second one had few benches and was very congested, so 3-4 students used to sit together. And as in my class there were only four girls she was the one who used to sit alone so I used to company her. For me just sitting beside her would mean a lot.

At that time an incident happened. Remember she was a die hard fan of Zayn Malik, and on her pouch she had written “I love you Zayn”. You won’t believe that day search the whole Instagram account just to find who the fucking Zayn is. Once I also ask her for a movie by making one of the stupidest stories anyone could ever imagine. Sometimes I acted stupid just to get her attention on me. Only thing mattered to me was her presence and attention.

I tried many things to impress her. for eg, I started writing poetry dedicating to her this one the first poetry I have written was

“Khoya reh ta hu tere khawabo me bass tere hi intizer me yaad karu her pal aur Tere zulufo ki gheriya ,tere Pero ki chal ,tere hoto se nikle lafzo ne Kiya Muje be haal, tere Husna ki chamak Muje kare andha bass tuje dekhna chahu yeh mere Dil ki Tamanna”

“tu Hai meri Dil ki arzu tuje se hi karu pyar Tera Jisam meri ruh mere Dil ki dhadkan tu , her sas me tuje Mehsus karu her paal tuje me paalu her waaqt tuje sochu tuje pana hai meri Manzil”

always in the hope, she will notice and understand me. and writing poetry was a unique thing that I can do according to at that time can make me more appealing than others. It also gave me an opportunity to express feelings. I used to post story on Instagram with hashtags like dedicated and etc. I used to send her my poetry by making an excuse to correct my spellings. days passed suddenly her behavior started changing. she seemed sad I was having to feel that something is wrong. after having a long conversation with her I get to know that something not going well between her relationship ..at that movement, I felt like I had one opportunity. so I started showing support. also started to take good care of her, always available to spending time with her make her feel valued

days passed it was the holy month of Ramadan, and the night of lailatul qadar this believed to the most powerful night according to the holy Quran. On this night ever dau’s(prayers) are heard by god itself. the only dua I had at the time was her.I started praying, I started fasting in hope Allah will help me to get her. I still remembered the day I proposed her it was the 30th day of Ramadan,23rd June 2017 Friday.

she was Wearing a purple-pink top in which she was looking mesmerizing.. My eyes could not stop viewing her .she was sitting just beside me. I don’t why at that point of i felt she is mine which made up my mind. and she turns back I had just one-millisecond eyecontact at that bent of time was the moment I felt her from deep inside . her hair had the amazing fragrance of sandalwood, felt her voice like a melody tune from heaven.I forget that I was in a lecture. It was like trip to heaven. so after the lecture gets over I decided to propose her. but now the problem is how? I have never done this before the only clue I had was from Bollywood.I was confused about what I should I do or what can I do to impress her. after everyone left she waiting for her father to be picked up. I thought this was the right time to propose so-called her and ask her about if she as homework given by the school and she replied “no” and

after i ask her out directly in the stupidest way possible I said

“hey Listen its been days you feel different to me think i might have feelings for you I love you”.” I really love you Kareena”

And she replied “….”