Kehlani

People say I have an attitude problem... I don't have an attitude problem, I have a people problem, I have a trust problem, I have an "If I don't know you I don't care about you, and if I do know you I probably don't like you" problem. Letting people go was easy for me, but unfortunately so was pulling people in. I had a personality that helped me make friends quickly, but after a month everyone hated my guts. I started believing I had a spirit following me around, fucking shit up for me. I had a friendship problem. I could fuck you like I love you, look you dead in the eyes as I rode you better than your soulmate could then ignore your calls. I had a commitment problem. I have not seen my parents in 4 years, and I was only 22... I had family problems... Just knowing me for a short amount of time you could tell I had problems, and trust me, my attitude, was the least of them.

But before all of that, before all the hurt and pain I went through with almost everyone in my life, I was happy, I was kind... I was Kehlani the Virgin.

"So we're not going to school today... I know this boy house we can go to, he got "the free." " (Which was a term used to say you had the house to yourself or your parents weren't home.) "What boy? Where'd you meet him?" Jada asked suspiciously. Janiyah smiled looking at her phone "Facebook." Jada and I looked at each other skeptically. Janiyah had plans for Me and Jada faithfully every day, so every day we were not in school. "Actually I think I wanna actually go today." "Girl shut up, sounding like a damn virgin." Jada and Janiyah both laughed at me as we waited for our Uber. When we got in we felt like we had been driving for ever. I looked out the window even more skeptical than before. "Um... Janiyah do you know what city we're in?" She sucked her teeth "Girl? What? You ask the stupidest questions." That meant she didn't. I rolled my eyes. "I hate talking to you." "Then don't! the fuck?" "Y'ALL! Shut up! please! Damn!" Janiyah thought she was the most grown but it was Jada that was the most mature. When we finally got to the boy's house, the uber pulled off and we walked up the cracked and dusty front steps. "Knock Kehlani!" Janiyah demanded. "What? Bitch, you knock!" "Why don't you just call him Niyah?" Jada sighed. "Well-" Before Janiyah could finish her sentence, the boy opened the door with a smirk on his face biting his lip. Honestly "The Boy" looked a whole lot more like "The Man". I was 100% sure we were definitely not supposed to be at his house. He smiled at Janiyah "You Janiyah?" "Yea, you Tito?" He extended his arm into his house to signal we could come inside. We followed behind Janiyah and he slapped her butt as she walked passed. I wasn't sure what they spoke about so I didn't say anything. He led us down a hallway leading to his living room and we all sat on his couch awkwardly. "Yo why you never in school?" He asked. "I'm grown, stop asking me questions." Janiyah snapped back. She was only 12 but had a worse attitude than Jada and I put together, that was her thing. Jada looked older, that was HER thing, then there was me. I wasn't sure what my thing was at the moment, I knew it was more to me than just being a virgin. I was less developed than the other girls in 7th grade, especially Jada and Janiyah. I was soft-spoken and that seemed to attract predators like moths to a light. "Why you so quiet over there Lil mama?" He asked. I looked up surprised he said something to me. "Oh don't talk to her, she's a virgin." Janiyah said and my shock turned into annoyance. She took not being a virgin as meaning you were basically an adult, which was why she took the title as the self-proclaimed leader of our group. She came from a nice family, she was well taken care of, yet she lived every day like she had something to prove. We had become friends very quickly ever since Jada introduced us but she'd been turning my life upside down ever since. My terrible grades were getting worse and my attendance was nonexistent. Jada wasn't always like this, this seemed like new behavior for her too. Jada looked at me shaking her head. You would think to say an under-aged girl was a virgin would mean for a man to leave her alone, but predators live by different rules. Tito smirked. "Oh really?" He asked and I just looked down, kind of uncomfortable. He had to be at least 24, but I was starting to think that's how Janiyah liked them. Jada & I sat in the living room as Janiyah went into the room with him. "Why does she do things like that?" I asked and Jada shrugged. "She doesn't mean it the way it comes out I guess." "It's embarrassing. You're a virgin too and she doesn't say anything about it!" "Well, I don't look like a virgin, You, kind of do." She laughed softly. "Well, there's nothing I can do about that." "You can, get some weave, put on fake eyelashes, wear better clothes-" "Ok I get it... thanks, Jada...." We sat and watched TV in the quiet and I could swear I see a silhouette of a man on the walk leading down the hallway. I lean in a little closer to study the figure, then it vanished. "Why don't you come in the room with us?" Tito said scaring the shit out of me and I let out a scream. "Whoa! We didn't even get started yet." He said with a sly look on his face pulling me up by my arm. I tried to pull it back but he grabbed a tighter grip on it. "Stop it, let me go." I said and Jada stood up frozen in fear looking at Tito and me. I pulled back and those pulls started turning into me fighting him to let me go. Another man came from down the hallway and tried to grab Jada before Janiyah smashed a glass vase over his head. Tito let me hand go and watched his friend fall to the floor. "Ayo!" He yelled as rage filled his eyes. "RUN!" Janiyah yelled out and I pushed Tito back as we ran down the hallway. I fumbled with the lock as Jada could see Tito helping his friend up and looking at us try to escape. "Kehlani hurry up!" I got the door open and we spilled out of the house. Some of the stairs crumbled under our feet as we stomped down them. It felt like we ran down two blocks before we finally stopped at a bus stop, gasping for air. "The next time I say something is a bad idea... listen to me..." I managed to say in between breaths. "Kehlani... shut up." Janiyah panted out.

After that, she told me he texted her telling her the only reason that happened was because he wanted to take my virginity and how sorry he was and she blocked him. Although she probably should've called the cops. Besides that, she never spoke to the man again or spoke about him. By the next week, we were back to speaking like it didn't happen. I'm glad we were safe, and I know it wasn't my fault of what happened, but I couldn't help but think maybe if I wasn't a virgin we wouldn't have gotten attacked. This virginity thing started to become more complicated "Wanna call this boy?" Janiyah asked and I sighed. It really was as if it never happened. "Do you know this boy?" "Yea." "Is it really a boy this time and not a grown-ass man?" "Hold on." "Wait-" I said and she clicked over, dialing a number. "Hello?" She said in a fake dude accent. For the first time in the history of Janiyah making prank phone calls, a boy played back along with her. "Bonjour," The boy said and I chuckled a little. "What that mean?" "What?!?" The boy and I said simultaneously. "You don't know how to say hello in French?" "Why would I know that? I'm American!" "Wait... What?" "Kehlani stop talking to me." "Kehlani?" He repeated. "Yea, and what's your name?" "Jeremy." He, and I all talked and laughed on the phone for like 20 minutes before she abruptly hung up on him. That was the most fun I've ever had on the phone with a boy or anyone for that matter besides Jada. He and I spoke to each other and Janiyah barely could get two words in. It was as if we clicked right off the back. "Why'd you do that?" I exclaimed when I heard the click "I was done talking..." Janiyah said and I couldn't help but feel like maybe she had been jealous.

Our friendship stayed the same for years until things changed in the 9th grade, we grew apart but we still kept in contact from time to time, I hung out with new people and Jada and Janiyah hung with separate people. Despite my poor grades, I managed to test high and ended up in advanced classes. That's where I met Michelle. Although we were both in honors classes, Michelle was anything less than a nerd, at least by her gorgeous looks. She was slim thick and a golden-brown complexion. She had long curly sandy brown hair and hazel eyes. She was one of the few people that could make me feel short standing next to her and she did modeling for a children's commercial last summer. She was also one of those girls that wanted to join every team and club in the school. Being that I was one of her closest friends, she dragged me along. I couldn't dance, yet I was at the dance team practice. I couldn't play an instrument, yet I was at band practice. I damn sure couldn't play chess, yet there I was, sitting in the 10th-grade teacher's science class, staring at the cutest senior boy I've ever seen up close. He had red hair and green eyes. Hard to believe he lived anywhere in our neighborhood because he had an exotic look to him. He was eating candy and laughing with his friends, his mouth was turning different colors from the candy and you could see his braces. I loved braces. I felt myself just staring at him. He looked back at me confused. "Yes?" I smirked and looked down. "Nothing." I was still shy when it came down to talking to boys. But although as I was quiet, I couldn't help but think of losing my virginity to him right there on that table. Too bad he liked Michelle, He gawked at her just like all of the other boys she's ever been around. I wasn't upset because who wouldn't? She had a face as cute as a button, and the body of Beyonce, at 15 years old. I rolled my eyes because the only attention I was getting was from Jackson sitting across the room. He had a rare skin condition and looked like someone's grandfather. I rolled my eyes and tried to ignore him, not even if Jackson was the last man on earth would that ever happen.