Hopeless Romance

BOOTY CALL

Michael was a college student who spent most of his single life carrying out his fantasies. He was introverted, but Social media always gave him the avenue to express himself without actually having to go out to meet girls. Everyone assumed he was a playboy, but it was all just him trying to live out his youthful exuberance - one he liked to term a "hoe phase" - so it doesn't come back to hunt him later in life, as he would always say.

It was a rainy Thursday night and hormones were raging as usual, and he couldn't help but notice that Jay, who he was texting, had the weekend off her usually hectic School schedule.

Jay was a black beauty with a sense of humor that made her almost irresistible. Michael had met her sometime ago online through one of his friends, and they had only been chatting for like a month or two, but it already felt like ages.

Every now and then, Michael would tell her how he liked her personality and how she handled her relationship with his friend, who had a thing with her at the time, and how he'd wished he had someone like her, or even better, her, and they would laugh over it.

This evening was different. The conversation was heating up, each text more intense than the last, maybe she was going with the flow and trying not to spoil the fun, but his hormones thought differently and it was finally time to address the Elephant in the room.

"What are you doing this weekend? I wouldn't mind having you over at my place. Why don't you come over let's hang out and catch up?" he asked her.

"I'm not doing anything per se but I don't really think that's a great idea." She replied.

"Why not? We're friends. You're just coming to chill", he said. "Unless, somehow, something happens which to be honest, wouldn't be such a bad thing if it did"

"Look it's not that I don't want to come. I'm sure it'll be fun but you and I know it's a very bad idea. " She responded.

"I really don't know why you're trying to be all safe with me. Just come and stop thinking of the consequences..." He persisted.

"Really? And where do I tell him I'm going to?" She asked.

"Tell him you're going to see a friend back at home or something. Tell him whatever you like. Nobody has to know where you're going to and he won't suspect a thing." He continued,"does he know any of your siblings or keep in touch with them to confirm if you're really home?"

"I can't really do that. It's too much a risk. I would consider it if it wasn't under these circumstances..." She said "...but you guys are close and I promised myself not to have something to do with two friends. Plus I like you, as a person, but I don't think I think of you in a sexual way."

"How would you when you see me as his friend and not yours? It's all a thing of the mind." He interjected. "Funny enough, I don't even remember ever saying we were going to do anything besides talking. It's just a weekend getaway, see it as you coming to see a friend."

"Can you in all honesty tell me that you're sure nothing will happen?" She asked him.

"No, I can't but it doesn't mean I'm actively planning anything. I'm more interested in your coming first." He answered.

"And what happens after that? Let's say I come, we have fun, and probably do a few things we may or may not regret. What next?" She asked again.

"I don't know, but I think all these questions are you going too far. Come first." He immediately replied.

"See ehn, I'm your friend's girlfriend and even if I was to hook up with anybody, it wouldn't be you because you're his close friend..." She started, "plus I can't be your booty call. I'm more than that."

"Who said anything about a booty call?" He asked. Feeling a bit agitated now at her insunuation.

"Let's call it what it is now. You only want me to come right now because you're horny, and after that we'll act like nothing happened until the next time you're horny again. It never ends and I'll get to live with the guilt." She replied, in a more conclusive manner this time, "I just can't, I can't do him like that. The guilt is too much."

"What guilt are you talking about? It's not like he'll ever find out. I stay in a different state."

"Yes, but I have to look him in the eye everyday knowing I fucked his friend, and I can't live with that guilt." She said.

"Right. So you're not coming? Alright, that's cool. I'll just be here all by myself." He replied.

"It's not that I don't want to come, but it's best I don't for both our sakes. Let's leave it this way. " She said.

"I'm sure there are other girls who could keep you company." She added.

"Look, I like you, and I like what you have going with him, and it might sound selfish but I want you for myself too, and your loyalty makes me even want you the more. Why don't you just stop making excuses and come here?" He asked her.

"Yes, but the same reason you like me would disappear if and after I'm disloyal we hook up so what's the point?" She asked.

"I'm already attracted to you so I don't see how that'll happen since I'm the same person you would be doing it with." He replied.

"Ahn. No, I can't. God. This is crazy. Can't you see how crazy this is? Are you not reading what you're writing?" She asked him.

"Well, if being crazy is what it takes to have you, then, go ahead and show me where to sign up." He quickly pitched in.

"I want you to understand, and see my reasons and see where I'm coming from. You're making me have to say no and it's awkward cause I really don't want us to stop talking." She added.

"Then, don't fucking say no. Just bring your ass over here and stop making excuses" he told her.

"This is weird now that you're saying no cause I have to live with the fact that we already had this conversation." He added.

"No, it's nothing. I don't see you any differently. Let me even clear the chat before I forget." She replied.

"Would you at least think about it?" He asked her.

"I have thought about it and I'm not sure it's something I can do, honestly. I already fucked up before and it'll be worse if I do it this time with his friend. He'll never forgive me. Jesus Christ. I feel like I'm betraying him already just thinking about it. The guilt is too much, I'll never forgive myself." She said.

"Okay. I was never here." He said. "I feel really weird talking to you now cause I may have already betrayed my friend."

"I don't want us to stop talking, but if it makes you feel better, I understand." She said.

"Yeah, it does. I'll just have to deal with my stupidity and guilt alone" he replied.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry, but I just can't" she further pointed out.

He read her last message and left it unreplied.

After a while, he'd go back to reread it, and also to check if she would somehow change her mind and send a different text or set of replies, but she was online and she didn't, so it was time to let it go.

"What a tough one!" He muttered to himself. "Just the way I like them. Too bad I'll have to let this one bite the dust." He deleted the chat so he wouldn't think about it and they didn't speak for months.