Part I
I felt the inexorable rise of anxiety deep within my chest. It had started in the pit of my stomach as I had left my apartment in Pine Bridge and had been climbing ever since. Now, as I made my way along the curving country roads toward Brook Haven leading to my future in-law’s house it had settled around my heart. It wasn’t that my relationship with them was bad, I had reasoned out that they liked me a long time ago when my soon to be father had cracked open a bottle of scotch that was older than I was just for my visit. It was the impending conversation that would follow an extravagant dinner.
My phone rang. I slipped it out of my pocket and answered without looking, I knew who it was. “Hey hun, how’s the parents?”
Diane greeted me with an all too knowing laugh. “You sound nervous.”
“What? No. How can you tell?”
“You only call me ‘hun’ when you’re nervous. You’d be awful at poker.”
“Well I just wouldn’t speak. I’d be one of those guys with the baseball hat and the sunglasses.”
“Well how’re you going to place any bets?”
“You just toss the chips in. Silence is a display of power.”
“Not in this case. How about you tell me why you’re nervous?”
I paused, letting the soft hum of the tires on the road calm my nerves. “It’s nothing. I’m just excited to see everyone. I’m fine I promise.”
“It’s about the book.”
Diane always could see right through me. It was one of the reasons I loved her. When I had asked her to marry me she had already said yes before I could go down on one knee, the ring still in my pocket. “It’s about the book.’”
“Well you’re a great writer! They’ll see that, you have nothing to worry about, I promise.”
I let myself lean back in my seat, tapping the steering wheel with two fingers. “I don’t think your father will look past the quality of my writing to accept me leaving my career for another one right before he gives up his daughter. He’s under the impression you’ll be marrying a man of security, not a rogue who’s tossing the dice on his life.”
“Oh, so I’m just a cow to be auctioned off to the highest bidder then?”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“I make more than you do! If anything, you’re the cow.”
“Moo.”
I smiled, adjusting the phone to get a better grip. It had started to rain, small plinks on the windshield. I could almost feel Diane smiling on the other end of the line. She put on her consoling tone, the same one she used when I had broken down and told her I couldn’t be a teacher anymore.
“You don’t have to tell them tonight. We can work up to it. If it makes you feel better we can tell them after the wedding, I promise. It doesn’t bother me, it shouldn’t bother them.”
“No, no. We tell them tonight. It’s supposed to be happy news, and this is a happy occasion. I’ll put on my flannel and heft my axe. You know, be a man.”
“Okay, Mr. lumberjack, you do that. How far are you out?”
“I should be there in about thirty minutes. I’ll say this may have been the longest five hours of my life. Do me a favor, have a drink waiting for me when I get there?”
“Already opening the vodka. I love you, Carver.”
“Love you too, Miss Tate.”
“Not a Tate for long, Mr. Moore.”
The call ended with a small beep and I tossed the phone onto the passenger seat, taking a deep breath, the hot sludge of anxiety already simmering down to butterflies in my stomach. The rain had picked up, already giving my wipers a workout. I had only driven down these roads a few times before, the last time about five months ago when I had asked for the paternal blessing to steal a daughter away. It was after that visit that I had driven back with my heart as full as it had ever been. The happiness I felt in that moment only made the feeling of complete disinterest I felt at work more apparent.
It wasn’t that I hated my job. Teaching college freshman the importance of Orwell, Vonnegut, and Ginsburg was honorable in my book. But the same person that had entered his first lecture hall filled with new passion hadn’t seen the old jaded man who was driving now. When I enter that lecture hall in a few days I’ll see the same black umbrella covering my head that had been there for the past two years, blocking out the shining sun of life that I had once felt.
The girl in white snapped me out of my thoughts like a slap across the face. My foot slammed into the brake pedal and I let out an involuntary gasp, white knuckling the steering wheel as my car skidded across the rain-soaked asphalt. It grinded to a halt with a sharp squeal. I breathed hard, staring ahead at the woman in front of me.
He body was turned, staring into the woods with a quiet intensity. Her white dress clung tight to her body from the rain. I tried to make myself get out of the car, open the door, maybe roll down the window. But I was frozen. She started to breath hard, her chest rising and falling at an alarming rate. Black hair fell over too pale skin.
I shut my eyes tight, trying to regain some semblance of control. Maybe it was the stress that was getting to me. The anxiety of the night ahead mixed with the acceptance of a career lost to the deep void of apathy. When I opened my eyes, she was facing me. I opened my mouth and screamed. Half her body was a mess of burned flesh and ragged clothing. Her face was distorted, a half smile too wide, lips reaching to her eyes. The other half of her mouth drooped low, festering with scalded skin. Her arm flew to her mouth, fast and janky, like a film with frames spliced out. As her hand covered her mouth my scream cut off abruptly. Her eyes met mine. My vision filled with her, unable to look away. I felt bile rise in my throat. Blood pounding in my ears with an intense ringing that filled my head. She moved her hand and placed a single finger against her lips. The last thing I saw before blacking out was her mouth opening, overtaking the entirety of her face until only a black hole was fixed atop her neck, beckoning me inside.
I woke up to the pain of an intense headache. Smoke was pouring out of the front of my car. I brought my hand up to my head, checking for blood. It came back wet. I grimaced. "Oh, what the hell."
Staggering from my car I stood in the street. Rain was still falling, dampening my suit immediately. I looked around, somewhat confused as the puzzle pieces of the past fell slowly into place. The girl in white. My car was just off the road, the front crumpled into a tree. I had stopped in the middle of the road hadn't I?
I looked around slowly, trying to see past the thick fog. A wave of nausea came over me as I turned my head. I squinted my eyes closed and reached for my cell phone, trying to dial Diane. A static fuzz crackled in my ear. I pulled back to look at the screen, full bars of reception. "Diane? Hey, Diane can you hear me?"
A garbled voice replied. It almost sounded like Diane but as if she was far away. The garbling came louder then abruptly cut off into silence. From that silence a whisper, "Help...me...help...me...help..."
I ended the call, striding over to lean against what remained of my car. Taking a deep breath I tried to stay calm. Clearly the stress of the job and the night got to me. I had made a mistake, that was it, plain and simple. Diane wouldn't be expecting me for another fifteen minutes so I could wait here and recover my ragged nerves or I could start walking. It wasn't too far. Just a light stroll in the pouring rain to meet the people who I desperately wanted to impress. Resolving myself I started down the road, head hunkered down, jacket collar up against the rain.
I tried to rehearse what I would say when I arrived, "Good evening, Paul! Krista, you look beautiful tonight. Oh, this? I just ran into a spot of trouble on the road, nothing to be concerned about. I'm a very responsible person for your daughter. I would love a drink!"
