HIM

I could not take my eyes off of him. Since the very first day of classes, he had me hooked. The way he ran his hands through his thick, lustrous dark curls to move them off of his forehead, the way he rolled up an inch of his sleeve when he when he wrote, the way he narrowed his gaze when looking at the projector screen – everything about him was like a magnet that pulled me closer. As I lost myself in the comforting cloud of his thoughts, I noticed that he locked eyes with me from across the room. Immediately, I looked away. Fuck.. he must have seen me staring at him. What must he think of me now? Probably another one of those crazy creeper girls that follow him around like a bunch of lost puppies. I knew that I would never stand a chance, but for some odd reason, I could picture myself with him. The picture was so vivid that I was slowly beginning to imagine it as the long-awaited future. I felt the blood rushing up to my face as I sensed that his gaze was upon me even after I had looked away. I felt somebody nudge me from behind. It was my friend Kuhu.

“Ahaana look up..” she whispered in as low of a voice as was feasible. “He’s talking to you”

Clueless, I looked up Professor Tirr, whose usual calm demeanor had now been washed over by a noticeable expression of irritation. He composed himself before speaking.

“Where are you lost, Ahaana. I know that I’m a boring lecturer but you don’t have to keep reminding me of that over and over again.”

I could feel all 20 eyes in that room on me at this point. A few people chuckled softly while others were too tired to care. I was so embarrassed that I felt like melting into my chair and becoming one with it. I smiled at him weakly before burying my face into my notebook and not looking up for the rest of the lecture. Well, that must have completely blown my chances. He probably thinks I’m idiot, which isn’t entirely untrue. As the final bell brought an end to the day, I quickly packed by bag and scurried out of the room. I knew I had to get home fast. As I reached the college gates, my heart sank to see what was outside. It was my husband Adith – waiting for me in his old white car which was now patterned with fine lines of dust. Reluctantly, I opened the door to sit in the front seat beside him. I was immediately welcomed by the smell of his sweaty body and the fish that he had probably just eaten. I rolled the window down and we starting driving away. I took temporary solace in the pre-monsoon winds which gently lifted the long locks of my hair.

“Close it” he said – his tone was sharp enough for me to flinch. “I don’t like the sound”

I rolled up the window without further argument. I knew better than to make him more angry at this point. I could sense that he was already upset – and I knew exactly why.

“Where is your veil?” he asked, his tone stern but still somewhat composed.

“It’s.. the w-washer” I began to stutter as I scrambled in my mind for an acceptable answer. The truth was that I had none. I just didn’t want to wear it because it was hot – and I liked wearing my hair down. More than anything, I wanted him to notice me.

He briefly turned his head to look at me – his fierce grey eyes piercing through the depths of my soul and striking down like a bunch of daggers. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest. I feared this man more than I could ever describe in words.

“I mean, I couldn’t find any because they’re in the wash” I said, immediately realizing how stupid I sounded.

Without uttering a word, he spun the car around and sped in the opposite direction. He stopped at the local market place.

“Wait here” he instructed, before slamming the car door behind him. He didn’t even bother to open the windows, and I was too scared to open them myself. Anything was better than potentially facing the consequences of upsetting him more than he already was. I could feel the scorching heat of the sun beating down on my face and the air becoming more and more stagnant. Droplets of sweat rolled from my hair onto my forehead. I felt as though the heat was beginning to melt my brain. He came back fifteen minutes later, just before I thought that I might pass out. He brought back a shopping bag and handed it to me before starting the car. I looked inside to see that there were about 10 veils, all shades of black and grey. What a revolting sight.

“I didn’t want you to have the same problem again,” he said, this time more calmly. He leaned towards me and lifted my chin up with his long, coarse finger. I looked into his predacious eyes and immediately stared down at my shoes. I knew that my heart beat was loud enough for him to hear it.

“It won’t be a problem again, will it?” he asked, mockingly. I shook my head, and breathed a sigh of relieve when he turned away from me and started driving. We arrived at home 20 minutes later.