My mum is best

My eyes burned at the clock earnestly. I couldn't help but hyperventilate. My body jerks at any little noise. I guess it's the body reaction expected when waiting for the mother you have not met for so long of your life.

I was a horrible daughter. I was horrible to the woman I love so much, at a time we both needed each other most. I made her cry. I made her hate life. She loved me so much, and I spat on her.

Biting my lip I think hard back at how I betrayed my mother's love. Daddy had just died, and I was feeling so alone, and in pain. Mummy had no time for, because she had to make sure I had clothes on my back, and a roof over our heads. So I didn't have my best friend to talk to. I bottled up all those intense feelings. That is until Adam Rose came around. The bastard was the hottest badboy in school, and then as if the devil had planned it all at that moment in my life, the bastardized took a liking in me. He made my body quiver when he talked. He always told me how beautiful I was. He said he loved me. And Adam Rose showed me the thrill in sniffing in the white powder that made me feel good. My bad boy introduced me to cocaine.

When I first started it was good. I passed out most of the time, and forgetting my pain was easy. That is until my mom caught me. To defend my actions I did the easiest thing. I lashed out to get her to back down. And it worked good. Too good I might add, cause it became my MO. I lash out on her to defend myself.

It became frequent that the effect it had on her was mill. So I had to find a new way to piss her off. Every day I did something new, but she never shed a tear. I cursed at her as if no tomorrow but she'd bullshit it like it was a snack. I trashed the house, and yell my voice out stating how much I thought I hate her, but she'd clean up my mess, and when I passed out she'd put me to bed, and kiss me good night.

So I came up with the worse thing I could do to her. The thing that could cause her cry like I desperately wanted. I fucked Adam Rose on the bed She and Daddy once shared. The bed she could not bring herself to lay on after daddy's death. When she found me on the bed, with Adam I was expectant of a tear, but she kicked Adam and locked me in my room. Of course a pain filled hormonal teenager would not go down that easy, I snucked out of my room and got myself drunk as fuck.

I passed out on the lawn, and my mama simply took me in, treated my hangover. She never shed that tear.

She is the only woman I'll ever love, and I left her the moment I turned eighteen. I packed my things and moved. And that's when she cried. She cried like she had lost dad once again.

My Mother loved me. And now sitting on her couch, awaiting her return from. The the hospital, I wonder what she'd think of me. I wonder if she still loves me. Why would she? The teen she loved betrayed her love, and abadonned her. I abandoned her.

I remember how I got word of her accident. I was deep in sleep. Passed out cold after night school, when the call came in. It rang severally before I finally found the strength to answer the call. And that's when the pit in my stomach, that keeps such my life essence knowing something is wrong with the love of my life, tore open. Mia's mum broke the news to me. Mia was a kind friend. She took care of mama when I did not. She also tried to help me, but after all those years, I know now that no one could have helped me but myself.

"What are you doing here?"

The familiar voice knocked me out of my train of thoughts. My eyes darted at the door, where the voice came from. Mia stood by the door. But I could not keep my eyes on the half Japanese girl for much long. My eyes were now on the love of my life, the one who cradled me to sleep, the one who showed me unconditional love. My mama.

I hurriedly ran to her, not exactly sure what to say.

I knelt down to her. What should I say?

"Mama" I breathed out. Awaiting her reaction.

Her mouth cracked open to a smile. She was smiling at me.

"My baby girl"

Her eyes were now watery. Her arms went wide open, ushering me in for an embrace. I didn't of think it, before running into her arms.

"I'm so sorry Mama" I said a bit mouth full, as I was now crying profusely.

"There's not to forgive Florian."

"There's nothing to forgive"

I allowed myself relax in her arms. Of all the friends I've made. Of all the boyfriends I've had. Of all the acquaintance I've made. Of all the people in this whole wide world. MY MUM IS BEST!

What about your Mum?

***