Undeleted Memories
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How can you make a statement like that with no proof?” Yelled one reporter, and another yelled, “How can you expect us to believe you?” The room was so noisy with questions that his head began to spin. The old Doctor saw what it was doing and held up his hands yelling, “Out, out I say, he needs rest.” A moment later only the Doctor and one of the FBI agents, who set quietly in the corner was left in the room with him.
He laid back, closing his eyes, he now wished he could remember what had happened to him. Only the Doctor and two Nurses were there when he was found and brought to the hospital. He had no memory of being found, or by who. He had no idea what he could have told the ones who found him, he had been burning up with fever. The Doctor had said it was over 107, and he should have been dead.
He told him it was because of the radiation. A type that they had never seen before, that was why the FBI agent was there. His head settled down some so he opened his eyes again. The Doctor was adding something to his IV, a pain killer he thought. The agent was just sitting there watching him. Right before he passed out he heard the agent say, “He will be out for..” And he was out.
He became aroused one time, and could tell he was moving and heard, “He’s coming around.” form one voice, then another, “Not for long.” and he was out again. The drug-induced sleep was dreamless.
He had no idea of how long he was out, but when he woke he was in a sim-dark room, and he was strapped down to his bed. His stomach felt funny, and he thought it was because it was empty, he could not remember when he had eaten last. What he really wanted was to hit his pipe a couple of times, but they had taken that along with his clothes when he had been admitted into the hospital.
He wondered where he was, and why they had moved him? Was it to get him away from the reporters, or so he won’t be able to talk with them? Hell, he was really was not sure what had happened to him. His mind felt like it had been taken out, put in a blender on high speed, and dumped back in. the door opened up and in walk a Nurse, she was smiling at him.
“Awake I see.” She said as she walked over to the bedside. She was a fine looking woman, he thought. “I was told that if you promise to behave, I can unstrap you, how about it, promise?”
He shook his head, and smiled up at her, “Sure, can I used the head, or do I have to use a bedpan.?” He asked.
As she unhooked the straps she said, “Heads over there,” She nodded her head at a door in the corner. “and if you want to get a shower I can remove your IV.”
He rubbed his wrist, sat up onto the edge of the bed, “Where am I, and why am I here.” He felt weak and was not sure if he could take a shower.
“I don’t have the clearance to tell you that. You will have to speak with the Doctor.” She opened the drawer on the little nightstand, took out a pair of slippers. “Hospital policy you understand.” She never stopped smiling. He took them and put them on his feet.
“I guess I should get a shower.”
“Okay, you have about 30 minutes before lunch. I’ll make sure you have towels.” She went to look, “Your all set, let’s get that IV out.” A moment later he walked slowly to the shower.
He stood under the hot water, longer than he normally would have, it felt so good to him. There was a knock on the door, and the Nurse’s voice told him that lunch was in 5 minutes. He hurried as best as he could, and when he opened the door a young man was entering the room carrying a tray. He smiled and said “Chair, or the bed sir?” He asked.
He took the chair, he had been in bed long enough. He ate everything on the tray, he had been hungry. He had not noticed until now, that there was a window in one wall. It had a heavy curtain drawn across, he had thought about going over to look out, but he was feeling a little tired.
As he got to his feet, the Nurse came in, she looked at the empty tray, “I never thought the food was all that good my self.” She helped him to the bed, “O, by the way, my name is Sally Planner, a dull name I know, just call me Sally.” She was not dull, he thought.
“When will I see the Doctor?” He asked. He had a lot of questions.
“He will be in later day, Mr. Johnson, you just relax for now.” She went out of the door. He laid there thinking about what was happening. They had told him that he had some kind of radiation poisoning, but he felt fine, it was his mind that was a mess, not his body, other than feeling a little weak.
The images that he had didn’t make a sense, they were blurred, like a bad TV picture, colors were off, and the sound he remembered was so slowed down he was unable to understand them. Could the radiation have done that to him, he wondered? The Doctor had said they had never seen that type before. He was not an educated man, but he had read a little about radiation poisoning and knew it was bad too have.
Nurse Sally had acted as if he was not contagious or that he would be spreading contamination of any kind. There was nothing to read in the room nor was there a TV, so he took a nap. His dreams were even more of a mess than his waking thoughts. There were giant hands reaching out for him, out of a multicolored fog. Laughter echoed in his mind from different directions. It made his head spin, and the fear was almost over whiling. He jerked awake and was shocked to see that the FBI agent was sitting there.
“Mr. Johnson, my name is Agent Rho and I have a few questions that I would like to go over with you if are up to it.” He held up his ID card.
He nodded his head, still trying to clear the dream out. “I’m not sure what I can help you with.”
“Do you remember anything that you said when you were first found?”
“No, I don’t have a clue. Is that why there was all the reporter?” He asked.
“Yes, it was, and why you were brought here. For your own safety.” He said dryly.
His own safety, he wondered, why should he be worried about anyone wanting to hurt him? “Why was I knocked out?”
For the first time, he saw a slit smile, “We faked your death.”
What he thought, just what the hell was going on here. “What gives you the right to do something like that?” His voice was a little loud.
“Why the President, and a little thing called National Security does, and like I said it was for your own safety.”
“How could it be for my own good?”
“If you hadn’t noticed that group of reporters were not being too friendly to you, and there was a group, calling themself the Intel Keepers (IK), who had made a public threat.” He had heard of them, and knew that their threats were real, but why would they make a threat to kill him, just what had he done or said?
He had a bewildered look on his face as he asked, “What did I say, to make the Intel Keepers so mad at me, they would want me dead?”
“That my good man is why we brought you here, to get you to remember what you did.” The way he said it made him feel that he was now a criminal.
He has always followed the law, not even once had he jay-walked on his way to work. He was a simple man but he was no criminal. Even a ticket for that would have cost him more than he could have afforded, with what he made as low-level Tracer. Being a Tracer he had a lot of information on people in the area.
Low level meant just that, the information he could see were things like internet expensive, what was ordered at the food stories, and the likes. He began to feel worn out again, and Agent Rho could see it in his face, so he said, “You will see the Doctor soon, please give him your cooperation if you would like this to end.”
He stood went to the door, stopped looked at him, and added, “You must remember what happened to you, or we will not be allowed to let you go.” Out the door, he went. Wow, he thought, not allowed to leave. He would become a prisoner because of a National Security violation, over something that he couldn’t remember.
He laid back and closed his eyes, his mind spun every time he tried to think about what had happened to him. All he could remember of that day was waking up in the hospital, with the reporters yelling at him. He was going to have to remember whatever it was, there was no way he wanted to stay there.
He fell into a sleep that was anything but restful. He saw the hands reaching for him, but this time he noticed they were not human hands, but melt ones. He had only seen a couple of Androids before, with his job they were not needed for any work. There was nothing dangerous about being a low-level Tracer. Androids cost too much to be used for clerical work.
A course there were robots all over the place, but they were limited to what they could do, unlike the Androids. For all, he knew Nurse Sally could be one, but he didn’t think so.
He woke when Nurse Sally entered the room, pushing a small cart of medical equipment, smiling as she all ways did, “Doctor will be in soon to see you.” She said as a young man entered, pushing a rolling stool, nodded to her and out he went. “Sit up on the edge of your bed, please.”
He did as asked, and she picked up a blood pressure wrap from the cart and put it on his arm. As she finished up the door opened up, and in walked the Doctor, and Agent Rho. The Doctor was a good 65 or more, with white hire that could have been a brown at one time. He carried a clip broad in one hand a pen in the other. He sat down on the rolling stool, while Agent Rho moved to the other side of the bed behind Jim.
“Mr. Johnson, I’m Doctor Sheckley, and I’ve been asked to see if I can help you remember what happened to you.”
“I was told I had some kind of radiation poisoning?”
He looked up at Agent Rho and then said, “I sure you that you don’t.”
Agent Rho spoke up, “It was part of the dis-information we put out to help keep you safe.”
“Jim. May I call you Jim,” Sheckley asked. He nodded his head, “The only physical effects that you have had are dehydration and fatigue. I’m not here as a medical doctor I’m a psychiatrist.” He let that sink in a moment, “Okay, first I would like you to tell what you remember of the morning before you woke in the hospital.”
For the next hour and haft, they talked about what he could remember. The morning was normal, shower, breakfast, his walk to work. It was when he went to get lunch that his memory failed. He began to get a headache, so the Doctor told the Nurse to get him a tranquilizer with his dinner, which was about to be served.
He thanked him, as Agent Rho and him left the room. He laid back, not sure he even wanted dinner. He wondered if the Doctor had gotten anything out of what he said. He thought it strange that Agent Rho had not said anything the whole time. When dinner came, Nurse Sally give him the tranquilizer, he took it, and ate most of the Meatloaf, and mash tatters.
When Nurse Sally returned to get the tray he asked, “No television?”
She smiled and said, “No cable”.
A hospital without cable, he thought, that was bull, they would have to of been hooked up to other hospitals at the very least. Why didn’t they want him to watch TV? “I can turn on the intercom there is some light music playing.” She offered.
He told her sure, and he was surprised it was only 20-year-old tunes, nothing newer. The tranquilizer was working and his headache was easing off. He was going to get bored fast, no TV, no books, no computer. He wondered if he could get a deck of cards. Nurse Sally came back with a razor and shaving cream.
He asked about the cards, and she said she would see while he was showering and shaving. When he came back out she was sitting there, smiling holding a deck of cards, “Rummy or Gin?” she asked.
“Aren’t you working?” He questioned.
“Yes, but you're my only patient, and believe me I know how boring this place can be.”
The next day Agent Rho had brought him some real clothes, this made him feel better, he hated the hospital gowns. This helped to make him feel a little more normal than what he had been feeling. Agent Rho told him that the next day he would be taken to the Sheckley’s lab, “The Doctor believes that he has a way to help you remember.” That would be great as far as he was concerned, he didn’t want to be stuck here any longer than he had to be, but where would he go, he was declared dead after all.
“No one has told me where we are at, can you?” He asked the Agent.
He shook his head, “Not yet I can’t, but if what the Doctor has in mind works, this will all end tomorrow, and we will both have the answers we want.” He was still not sure what answers the Agent wanted but wanted the holes in his mind filled in.
The next day, he was ready when Nurse Sally came to get him, with a wheelchair. Smiling she said, “Your ride has arrived, sir.” He sat down, kind of feeling guilty, after all, he could walk. She pushed him out the door into the hallway. It was long with many doors on each side, all of them were closed, so he had no idea what was in them. They could have been rooms like his, but he had the feeling they were not.
It felt eerie to him not to hear or see anyone else. The place didn’t have the feel of a hospital, more like an abandoned sanitarium. At the end of the hall, she backed him into an elevator, pushed the B-14 button. They were on the B-1 level. It took longer than he thought it should reach B-14. The door opens in a huge room. It was full of all kinds of scientific equipment.
Some of it he knew about, but most he had no clue of what it was. There were little lights everywhere blinking on and off, and strange clicking and whirling motor sounds. This was what one would have thought of as a mad scientist lab in a cheap movie.
Sheckley and Agent Rho were there waiting on them. Sheckley was standing next to a chair that looked like it was from some kind of carnival ride. Agent Rho was sitting on a stool and far off. “Thought you said you were a psychiatrist,” Jim said.
This made Sheckley smile, “Yes well, that is just one of my six doctrines. Could you please change seats.”
He had an uneasy feeling as he stood up and sat back down in the funny looking seat. Nurse Sally slipped some kind of wire net over his head, with wires that led to a few of the boxes that had blinking lights on them. Sheckley put a wrap around his arm and a heartbeat sensor on his finger. After five minutes he felt like he really was in a cheap monster movie from the ancient past.
What kind of information could he have that they would go throw all this to get him to remember what had happened to him? None of any of this was making any sense to him, he was a nobody in the world, just a low-level Tracer, without much of a life, and now no life at all being declared dead. Would they really let him go if he did give them what they wanted?
Nurse Sally took off his right shoe and sock and put a sensor on his big toe. Smiling as always said, “Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.” He was not amused, but he tried to smile. He was about to find out what had happened to him, or he hoped he was. She held up a cup of water with a straw, he took a drink.
Sheckley was smiling, “Have you ever partake in any of the commercial hallucinogenic drugs that are available in one of the common plazas?”
He was shocked that he asked, “A course not.” He said looking over at Agent Rho sitting there silent. What did the Doctor take him for one of them antisocial Intel Keepers?
“Don’t take any offense young man, its if you had then your mind would be prepared for what you are about to go through.” As the Doctor talked Nurse Sally rolled up the arm of his shirt. He hardly noticed as the IV meddle went in, till he felt the cold drip began to enter his blood. “Lean back and relax, we will begin in a few minutes.”
He walked over to Agent Rho and whispered something, the agent nodded his head, he went to a table and pick up a set of virtual reality goggles. He plugged them into Jim’s chair and said, “We will be monitoring everything that your mind sees on that monitor over there,” He pointed to the table, “This is a cross between past regression and hypnosis. Have no fear, none of what you will see or hear will be happening now. It will only be your memories, nothing more.”
He handed the goggles to Nurse Sally, who put them on him saying, “Just relax, and pretend that you are having a dream.” He could handle a dream that was no big deal, now a nightmare that’s different.
“You will feel a little sick as the drugs begin to work, but it will pass.” He was smiling but Jim could not see him. He pushed a button on the back of the chair. “Okay, here we go.”
The screen in the goggles begin to glow, he felt the cool flow of drugs into his arm. A moment later he heard Sheckley in a low voice, “I want you to think about that morning, but don’t force it, just let it flow.” On the goggles, screen was his own face looking into his bathroom mirror, but to his mind, he was standing there. His mind knew that it wasn’t real, but at the same time, it was.
He was a passenger, yet it was him, he wondered if this was what it was like to have schizophrenia or split personality, whichever it was. He shaved his face, and when he cut his jaw, he felt it just like he had on that morning. This surprised him a little, he had never thought that the memories of pain could be so real. When one remembers a burn, the pain didn’t return each time.
He remembered that Sheckley said they could see what he was seeing. This device could solve many crimes that took months or years in the courts. He wondered if this why Agent Rho was there, to see this device in use. He tasted his breakfast, having forgotten how good it had tasted that morning. He was haft way to work when it became light out. He like that time in his walk, there were few on the street before then.
By the time he reached work, the streets were full, people rushing to work, bumping into each other, with little care other than their own needs. He had felt that it was not healthy for people to live so crowded. He wondered if they could fell what he was feeling, then decided that they couldn’t, they were just watching the monitor. This was good he thought, his feeling should be his own.
The morning at work was normal, him checking on where his group of people had gone the night before. No one had gone anywhere they should not of. Each had their wristbands that were their phone, bank, and class ID so they would never go any were without it. Each class had restrictions on movement. He was not sure why, nor had he ever question it, that was just the way it was.
It was just before lunchtime that his memories had failed him. He was now reliving that time, but yet living it for the first time. So far he had enjoyed the experience, and wondered if they others watching thought how dull his life really was. He stood up from his desk, wanting tacos for lunch that day, he felt his mouth water with the thought. There was a street stand across from the central park that he liked. He decided to go there for lunch. He checked to make sure there was no rain scheduled, before heading to lunch. The streets were full of people and robots going about daily tasks. He felt like a small fish in an ocean of sharks.
The taco stand was next to a small ally way between buildings. In the ally were a few young boys not paying any attention to the busy street a few feet away, nor was any on the street paying any attention to them. He stood there lost in how good the taste of the taco were, when suddenly a clumsy robot ran into his shoulder, spinning him around into one of the young men in the ally way.
His taco went all over the young man's shirt, as he was pushed down on to the ground. Wow, he thought, it had hurt, but why had he not remember it? He felt a flush of embarrassment, he rushed to help the young man up, but the other stopped him. “Hold on their old men.” One of them said and another said, “How rude.”
They each grab an arm and held him still, as the one who was knocked down stood up and turn to look at him, as he tried to brush the taco off his shirt. He walked over to him, checked his wristband, “Jim Joe Johnson, low-level Tracer.” He looked him over, “I think Jimmy here has solved our problem for us.”
Suddenly the young man punched him in the stomach, then he felt a prick in his neck, and everything went black. This shocked him at first then he thought they must have drugged him at that point. He was awake and asleep at the same time, ever stranger was the fact he could still hear some of what was being said by the young men. There were no coherent sentences, but there were words like prisoner, credits, message, and even Intel Keepers.
What happened next will forever be burned into his mind. He was laying face down with his eyes closed, but could still tell he was in a bright light, not wanting to let his captives know he was conscious, he lay still as he could. The air moved and he smelled something he had never smelt before. It was all most sweet but reminded him of some of the perfume the women wore at work. He slowly opened one eye looking down at where he laid, it was melt. He opened the other eye and then rolled his head just a little to the side.
He was shocked by what he saw, not ten feet away from him was some kind of green plant life. It was growing right out of the ground. He closed his eyes, not sure he had seen it or hallucinating from the drug he was given. After a few moments, he rolled on to his back. One side of his face became warmer than the other, the light was brighter on that side he thought.
He was not sure how long we laid there with his eyes closed, when he decided to open them, they watered from the bright light. At first, he had no clue what he was seeing then as if being shocked by electricity it hit him. It was the sky he was seeing. He was outside in the open. Blackness overtook his mind in his memories, and in real-time.
When he woke his mind was still a mess from the shock, and the drugs. The first thing he saw was the smiling face of Nurse Sally, and the second was the safely placed ceiling, “You had us worried for the last couple of days.” She said.
His throat was dry, but he asked, “Days?”
“Yes, you have been out for two days, and I’ll say what you have been through I’m not sure I could handle it. Who would have thought someone could go outside and live to talk about it. You were lucky that the maintenance Android had found you”
The door open, Sheckley, and Agent Rho entered. “Well, now that you have your memories there is no reason for you to be here.”
He kind of giggled, “Where can a dead man go?”
Agent Rho spoke up, “You seem to have a little problem, well, I do too. The Intel Keepers are still out there and now they know that people can live on the outside.”
As far as he knew he was the only human who had gone outside in a thousand years. After the great war, the surface and most of life had been destroyed making mankind move underground. People had forgotten how life was open and free before then.
“The Government has known this for some time but most would have no way to deal with it as well as you have. Dr. Sheckley is working on this now, he believes to have this problem taken care of soon, thanks to your help. As I said before the Intel Keepers are still out there and need to be stopped. I could use a partner. What do you say?”
