Signs

“Elina...wake up! Elina!” somebody shouts in my ear.

“ELINA!”

“Ah! Yes!? Yes! I’m awake” I turn my head so fast I get whiplash. In front of me stands all pride and ego, Miko, my boss. Oh, I’m at work. I stare at Miko with a sort of “I know what I did and I feel bad about it” face but she just smiles and dumps a bunch of papers on my desk. Classic.

“Finish all these til 3, yeah?”

I look at the pile of unfinished papers on my desk and then grudgingly at the pile Miko so thoughtfully placed next to it.

“Until 3? Miko, I can’t-”

“Do you really want me to tell Carmilla that you fell asleep on the job again? Seriously Elina, it’d hurt me to see you get fired!”

Wow. Touche. Miko leans in and her long sleek black hair tickles my cheeks.

“We both know that dear old Carmilla hired you because she pities you. Nobody likes you Elina and-”

“And I’ll die alone. Good job. You’re getting better and better at the evil monologue thing you’re doing. I got it, if I don’t do your job, you’ll tell on me to your ‘mommy’.”

Unaffected by my words, she leaves my personal space. What a witch...

“I’m so glad we’re getting along, Eli! See you at 3, toodles!” she flips her hair and leaves, her heels clicking against the floor while she makes her way to the elevator. Miko is a pretty and intelligent woman. I think we could be friends if she wouldn’t hate me with all her might. Why does she hate me? Because I am a sign of unhappiness and misfortune. Here, we’re all born marked with a sign; a sign which only marks us and our soulmate. Miko has a small teardrop on her ring finger, same as her husband. They are something we call “mellyn”, which means a pair of soulmates who have found each other. Some make it their only goal in life to be part of a mellyn, some go crazy trying to find their soulmate. There are a plethora of articles in the newspaper showing off people’s various signs. Those are attempts people make to try and find their one and only. I’ve seen a few cases where it worked. Otherwise, people tend to pay a lot of money for a bit of publicity and then end up broke and alone. It isn’t cute. It is said that you’ll find your soulmate one day, it is destiny.

And then there are people like me, whose right of being part of a mellyn has been taken away from birth. I am something we call “eressë” which just means alone. I am a bad omen, a sign of depression, loneliness, and death.

People like me are not allowed to look for a partner who has already been assigned by fate to someone else. It is considered a crime. It is considered a grotesque and inhumane crime to steal someone else’s eternal happiness. To keep it simple, nobody likes me because I am without a soulmate and because they think I might steal their soulmate. The “okay” part, relatively speaking, is that I don’t really like them either. The only person I love is my grandmother. When my mother passed away, she was the only one “brave enough” to raise me, even though I am literally the embodiment of bad luck in our society. My grandma told my relatives they are some “wretched heartless two penny whores with a walnut where their brains should be”. I think she is the only person in this whole world who truly cared for me and never cared what others’ opinions were on me.

The daydream I was having passes and I start working on the papers. So, an hour passes, and the two and then it’s already 3 pm. Miko is already at the elevator. I see her coming as I’m finishing up. She is strutting over, tea in hand and a smug look on her face. She plants her butt on my small desk in the corner of the room. She flips her dark brunette hair back and looks at me innocently. She has some icy cold blue eyes. I hand her the papers and she smiles.

“Thank you, Eli! See? It wasn’t that hard. Now do these. I don’t have time for them, I have a date with Milo tonight. You don’t have any plans anyway so,” she throws the papers onto my desk “get to work!”

“Actually, Miko, I have to leave at 4.”

“Oh...well then, you better hurry and finish up these papers.”

“Miko, I-” she leans forward.

“Whoops!” and there it is, tea all over me. At least it’s not piping hot. I just stand there, shocked beyond words.

“See what happens when you talk shit? Accidents occur!”

“You don’t have the right to keep me here overtime! Who do you think y-”

“Eli, one more word and I’m telling Carmilla about your little sleep problem. Good thing you’re all alone on this level and nobody sees you, right? Well, except for me! So, if you like this job and want to keep it, I suggest you stay in your lane and do what I tell you.”

I shut up. What was I supposed to do anyway? She had me. I knew nobody would offer me a better job than Carmilla already has. It’s not a dream job, but it pays well and I get to be alone.

“See? We can get along just fine when you listen to me. Bye bye now!”

Sometimes I hate my life. Today is one of those days. I’m on a train, still damp and sticky because of the tea. To top it all off, I’m also frustrated and very tired.

It’s almost 6 pm. I should be heading home, but I’m not. I have another stop before I get home. The train is empty, the vertical seats squeak- I put a napkin down on one and sit down on it. I’m shivering, I’m sticking to everything and all I want is to get home and take a warm shower. The train is illuminated by the golden light of the bulbs above me. The train tracks start on the ground but then, slowly they start rising higher and higher, like a rollercoaster until we’re above Roserie city. The sun is setting. It is finally quiet in my head. I put my forehead against the cold window and close my eyes, just for a moment.

The peaceful moments pass as the conductor announces the next stop. We’re on the ground again. The doors creak open and I step outside. In front of me, in all its glory, appears the large victorian granite building I’m headed to. There’s a small sign in front of it, engraved with ”Eressë counseling/research facility”.

I push the metal door open and enter. I greet the janitor and he vaguely gestures towards me. I take that as a greeting. I go up three stories and knock on the door of Mrs. Star, my psychologist. I’m forced to go by my superiors so I “don’t put my colleagues in uncomfortable situations”. I’m the only eressë they have had in the past 50 years.

Mrs.Star’s door is a small, wooden door, quite homey compared to the rest of the bleak building. I enter after she gives me permission.

“Good evening! I’m so sorry for being late I was-”

“Working late? I know deary. Please, sit down, Elina.”

Mrs. Star is an elderly woman, around 80, she has a sharp mind and helps people with “this disability”. She’s been studying eressë patients all her life, trying to come up with medicine to prevent the no soulmate thing from happening, but her attempts were futile. People who lack soulmates are still veiled in mystery. Besides all this, she’s an”Eressë Rights" advocate. She's kind and understanding, AND she looks at me as if I were a human being. I appreciate her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Not great. A co-worker poured tea on me."

She raises an eyebrow in a sardonic way and then sighs disappointedly.

"I'm very sorry, Elina. Are you sure you don't want to look for another job? I know a place with really kind people, they'd hire you. The pay isn't that great but-"

"No, thank you. I need all the money I can get. I appreciate the offer, but I'll have to decline."

"Okay, well then tell me about your week."

And so an hour passes with Mrs. Star, I tell her about my day, she tells me to keep my chin up and then...

Knock, knock, knock.

"Come in!" she yells.

The door opens and in comes Fern. She's dressed in traditional green fae clothes. A long over the knee skirt and a matching bouffant shirt that is tied at her waist by a belt.

Fern is Mrs. Star's assistant, she's an excentric person with a grin always plastered on her face. Her long, curly red hair makes its appearance 5 minutes before she does.

"Fern, dear, what is it?"

"Mrs. Star, Derreck is here. He's waiting outside."

Mrs. Star jumps up faster than I've ever seen her move and before Fern manages to leave she shouts after her.

"Tell him I'm coming! I'm sorry Elina, we'll have to wrap it up for today. Next time, you could stay more, free of charge if you'd like."

"No, it's ok Mrs. S! Thank you!" I get up from my seat and pay her. Then, I'm on my way out. The hall is colder than her office. I make my way towards the stairs. Fern is nowhere to be found, that woman is fast.

"Hey...I'm sorry for interrupting the session" a voice comes from behind me. I jump and turn around fast.

"Whoa! Hey! Didn't mean to scare you" I look up to the man looking down on me. He's tall and tanned, his chestnut coloured hair is cut short and his eyes...his eyes are mesmerizing. They are of a deep ocean blue, one of his irises has a golden ring around it. I have never seen such eyes before. They are so unusual. I'm staring. I should say something but, just like me, he's also staring astonished into my eyes. My heart's beating so fast I can feel it in my throat.

"I..uh..um" kudos for trying to enunciate.

"Derreck dear! You're here!"

Mrs. Star jumps from her office and hugs the man tight then places a kiss on his forehead. Suddenly, I feel awkward as if I invaded someone's private moment.

"Hi granny! Heh, I'm happy to see you too," he looks at me and clears his throat.

"Oh! Derreck! This is Elina! She is...a friend!"

Derreck smiles warmly and extends his hand. I shake it. His hands are coarse against mine, and so much bigger.

"Nice to meet you, Elina!"

"Oh, um, nice-nice to meet you too! I, really should go. I have a train to catch. Good night Mrs. S, Derreck!"

Mrs. Star says goodbye as well and before I make it down the stairs, Derreck waves. There, on his wrist is a small black circle- his sign. As fast as I can, I get out of the building. I barely make it to the train. It's empty once again. My heart is pounding as I sit down.

I shouldn't. I shouldn't feel what I am feeling, it's not allowed. I must just feel embarrassed. That has to be it but...

I touch my face. It's hot. I'm blushing.

I can't feel what I am feeling. It's not right. I put my head against the cool window once more. He has a soulmate, I don't. I'm just an empty sky.