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short robbery story

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Summary

a short robbery short i wrote that i just want an opinion on

Status
Complete
Chapters
1
Rating
n/a
Age Rating
13+

Chapter 1

Start writing here…It all happened so fast… one second, I was just doing my job the next I looked up to see a gun in my face. I do not remember everything, but I remember his face... his body. He was a tall man, 6’4 or 6’5... he had pale skin and grey/blue eyes. He was wearing a red hoodie and a ski mask, but I could see some of his light brown hair. I could not say anything… I was frozen. He started yelling telling everyone to get on the floor or he was going to shoot. I did not even realize he was talking about me up first not until someone tried to get away. He shot him in the back of the head before pointing at me. “IF ANYONE MOVES AGAIN, SHE DIES.” When I realized I could not believe it...I always watched shows of robberies, but I never believed id be in one. Once I fell out of shock, I pressed the button to call the police. He kept yelling at us…. Screaming… before long I heard the sirens. The man just took the money he could get to right away before bolting out the door. i saw police yelling and gun shots before long cops came in and made sure everyone was okay with paramedics. The police talked to me it felt like hours... they told me they caught him and asked if I could appear in court. Of course, I said. Now its over… he’s in jail…months later. And now I can breath for the first time since that day.

Let justalilgay2006 know what you thought about this chapter!
Love this

0

Love this

Funny

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Funny

Spicy

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Spicy

Suspenseful

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Suspenseful

Emotional

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Emotional

Profound

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Profound

Heartwarming

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Heartwarming

Shocking

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Shocking

Good Writing

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Good Writing

Compelling Plot

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Compelling Plot

Great Character

0

Great Character

Strong Dialog

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Strong Dialog

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