Not Anymore

Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns all.

A/N: While Percy is pretty much an idiot in the fifth, sixth, and first part of the seventh books, I did somewhat relate to why he would have been upset if someone told him that he didn’t get his job based upon his own merit. But obviously, he should not reacted as badly as he did.

Apparating to the Burrow, Percy let a triumphant smile spread across his face.

He had done it. Gotten the job he had dreamed for, finally! Something he could be proud about. No longer was he Weasley, son of the muggle loving Arthur, he was going to be Junior Assistant to the Minister!

All his life Percy had wanted to make his family proud. All he had were his smarts, not like Bill, who was the oldest and smart.

Charlie, who loved animals and was great at quidditch.

The twins, who were twins and had played practical jokes and seemed to be on their way to making their own business.

Ron, who was great at chess, the second youngest, and was good at quidditch.

Ginny, who was the only girl and had a temper worthy of a Weasley.

What did he have? His smarts? Bill had already done that, so Percy needed to excel at it. He needed to stand out, make himself special in the eyes of his parents.

For when you have six siblings, it can be far too easy to sink into the mix.

Which was why Percy always tried to follow the rules, and make his Mum happy. Tell his siblings off for not following the rules, so his Mum would see how responsible he could be.

And when Fred and George teased him for following the rules, Percy had to act smug and pompous, so they knew he wasn’t affected by their words. He had to act smug to show everyone he was important, and most of all, tell himself that he was important. He needed to be, for if he wasn’t, who was he?

This is why this job meant so much to him.

So he could be special.

But now, Percy was special! He was the Junior Assistant to Cornelius Fudge, the Minister of Magic! Surely this would make his parents proud. His Mum had always wanted them to go into the Ministry after all, so surely this would be cause for celebration.

Striding into the Burrow, Percy found his Mum and Father in the kitchen, Mum cooking and Father reading the Daily Prophet.

“Father, Mum,” Percy said, beaming. “I have good news.”

“Yes?” Mr. Weasley said, putting down the newspaper. Mrs. Weasley turned from the oven, and smiling gently at her son.

“I have been promoted to Junior Assistant to the Minister of Magic,” Percy said, puffing out his chest in pride, waiting for the praise that would surely come after.

But instead, all his father did was frown.

His Mum smiled, and said, “Oh Percy, that’s great!” But Percy could tell there was false cheer in that statement, for his Mum and Father exchanged worried glances.

What was wrong? Why weren’t they happy for him? He was going to be making more money now, able to support himself and aid their financial situation. Why weren’t they excited?

Ron popped his head into the kitchen. “What’s this about a promotion?” Ginny, Fred, and George followed Ron into the kitchen, the latter two smiling wickedly.

“Percy the Prefect’s been promoted?” they exclaimed.

But then, his father spoke for the first time since Percy announced his promotion. “Percy,” he said tiredly, “you know Fudge is only doing this to keep an eye on our family. He doing it to spy on Dumbledore.”

Just like that, Percy’s bubble of happiness and pride popped.

How could his father say that? He had worked so hard in the ministry to achieve recognition, and now that he had gotten it, his father dared say he didn’t deserve it?

But that meant Percy was worthless. Nothing special. Just like before.

No. No, his father couldn’t be telling the truth. Percy... Percy had to have deserved it, surely the government didn’t work like that. Surely Percy was just being rewarded for his excellence at his job.

“Father,” Percy replied tightly. “The Minister wouldn’t appoint just anyone for this job. I deserve this job.”

He had to deserve it. He had to believe it. For if he didn’t... than his whole world was a lie.

Mr. Weasley rubbed his temples tiredly. Ginny and Ron had already started to back away, not sure where the situation was going.

“Son,” Mr. Weasley tried, “you know Fudge is corrupt. He believes Dumbledore is telling lies, he wants to get close to anyone Dumbledore is close to.”

“That’s not true!” Percy exclaimed hotly. “I’ve worked so hard for this job- you wouldn’t understand!”

“What don’t I understand? That Fudge isn’t some corrupt leader? We have to face the facts, Percy. A war is coming, and we don’t have time to entertain these ideas. We’re going to the Order’s headquarters soon anyway, we can’t let Fudge have an outlet to spy on,” said Mr. Weasley, his normal calm disposition gone, his ears turning red in annoyance.

“Arthur,” Mrs. Weasley said hesitantly. “I’m sure Percy-”

“Molly, Fudge is clearly trying to spy on Dumbledore! Wait until I tell Dumbledore, he’ll be so disappointed in Fudge,” Mr. Weasley sighed.

Wait. All Father cared about was the Order? Not that Percy had gotten an incredible job opportunity? He wasn’t even proud of Percy.

Was Percy just not good enough? Was he... nothing in his parent’s eyes?

No. Percy wasn’t nothing. He couldn’t be nothing, he was important! And if his father didn’t recognize it, so what? The minister did, and surely that counted for something!

“I’ve already accepted the position,” Percy said coldly. “It will be a position of great honor.”

“You have to understand that it won’t be,” Mr. Weasley stressed. “You’re only in the position because Fudge wants to spy on us!”

There. He had said it. It was implied before, but a small part of Percy had hoped that Mr. Weasley would still recognize his hard work.

But no. His father wasn’t happy for him. Wasn’t proud of him.

This wasn’t something a father should do. No. Not to Percy.

“I hope you know that I got this position from my own merit!” Percy said, almost shrilly. “I’ve worked hard this past year! Not because Fudge wants to spy on us!”

“I’m sure you’ve worked hard, but Fudge-” Mr. Weasley tried.

“No! You don’t understand! I’ve worked so hard, and for what? For you to tell me I don’t deserve it? I’ve worked hard, unlike you! You could have gotten a better position if you weren’t so focused on your muggle hobbies!” Percy said, his anger getting the best of him.

Instantly, Percy regretted his choice of words. Sure, Percy had thought these things sometimes, when he was stuck wearing old robes and using old textbooks while his classmates had shiny, brand new ones.

But that didn’t mean he would say those things. But after what his father had said... there was no going back now.

“Really, Percy! You’re being unreasonable! Fudge and the Ministry are corrupt, and we have to put our faith in Dumbledore! We don’t have time to argue over a job!” Mr. Weasley grew angrier and angrier, clenching the Daily Prophet in his fist as he banged the other one on the table.

At this, Percy went beserk. He didn’t know what was coming out of his mouth, all that he knew was that he wanted his words to hurt his Father like Father’s words hurt him.

“Well maybe you’re an idiot for running around with Dumbledore! Dumbledore’s heading for big trouble anyway, and if you follow him, then you’ll go down with him! And I know where my loyalty lies,” he paused looking at his father, who was getting angrier and angrier, ears turning a flaming red, and his mum, who was crying now.

A tinge of regret surged through him, but Percy batted it away, for they had hurt him first.

“And it’s with the Ministry,” Percy finished heavily.

“Then you aren’t part of the family. Not anymore,” Mr. Weasley seethed in rage.

“Fine then! I don’t care! If you and Mum are going to be traitors to the Ministry, then I’ll make sure everyone knows I’m not a part of this family anymore,” Percy glared, fighting back the grief that came with this announcement, and replacing it with anger.

He turned, and pushed through the twins, who turned to look at him with shock and anger. Past Ginny, who looked like she was ready to cry, and her eyes pleading with him not to do this. But it was too late. Percy was in far too deep.

Past Ron, who averted his gaze, eyes full of sorrow. This hurt the most, for Percy had always thought he could relate to Ron. They were both the underdogs of the family, ignored and pushed aside for others. Sure, Percy was academically inclined and Ron was more interested in sports, but that didn’t matter.

But Ron was going to stand with his family. Percy should have known that, with Ron being friends with Harry Potter, the one who started this whole mess.

Storming up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door and locking it behind him, Percy took all of his anger and focused it on Dumbledore, his father, and Harry Potter. For if Harry Potter had not opened his mouth, Percy would not be in this mess.

He would still get promoted. But his father would see the real reason why.

Percy began to pack his bags. He was done with father. Sure, he would miss Mum, but that was okay. For he knew his Mum would stand by Dumbledore and his father, and Percy couldn’t accept that.

His siblings... they didn’t understand. They were too young. Percy just hoped they saw the truth. That Percy deserved this job.

Finishing, Percy threw open the door with his bags and walked down the stairs. His father wasn’t in the kitchen, but his mum was, nervously wringing her hands and wiping her eyes.

“Percy,” she begged. “Don’t do this. Your father didn’t mean it-”

“It’s too late for that,” Percy interrupted. “If you cared about me, you would be proud of me. Happy for me. This is my dream, Mum. You can’t take that away from me.”

He pushed past his mum and threw open the door. Dragging his bag behind him, he ignored the soft cries of his mum.

Looking around in a daze as he walked through the yard, Percy couldn’t stop thinking. About all the memories he had here. Had it really been just an hour ago when he had arrived home from the ministry? Had it really been an hour since his whole life was upended?

Pushing open the gate, Percy turned to look at the Burrow one more time.

The home he had lived in since he was born. All of the good and bad memories swirling in there, his whole family.

But they had scorned him. He couldn’t look back. Not now.

Turning on the spot, Percy disapparated, going to the first place he could think of, an place in London he had seen on his walks through London. Percy had seen flyers pasted on the outside of the window advertising flats, and so his mind had turned here when he needed a place to stay.

Entering the building, Percy quickly got keys to a flat, and made his way upstairs. The rent wasn’t bad, and most of all, it was away from his family and the baggage that came with them.

In a daze, Percy made his way to the bed and sat down. Everything seemed to be going so quickly. The argument with his father seemed ages ago.

But Percy couldn’t get his father’s words out of his head. What if he didn’t deserve his job? Could it be true?

No. Percy would not let himself think these things. For if he did, his whole world would shatter. He would be a worthless piece of junk, not even able to get a proper promotion.

So Percy would not let himself think about what his father said. He would not let himself believe his father, for if he did, Percy wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Percy wouldn’t have the will to live.

And Percy couldn’t let that happen.

So when his Mum came to visit, Percy slammed the door in her face. She had never really cared anyway, right?

But still, questions ran rampant in Percy’s mind, no matter how hard he tried to stop them.

Did his family still miss him? Or did they think he was a traitor, an outcast, or a betrayer? Had they disowned him? Or did they still care for him?

Percy didn’t know. He wouldn’t let himself linger over these questions, just reminded himself about why he left.

When he wondered if he still loved them, Percy had to brush it off, refuse to think about it. He couldn’t. If he did, it just brought rebellious tears to his face. It was pointless to think about something that he told himself didn’t matter.

Not anymore.

And when he got his beloved jumper in the mail, Percy sent it back without thinking, not even caring about the carefully folded jumpers waiting in the very bottom drawer, gathering dust.

For Percy couldn’t let himself think. Not about the happy memories of Christmas morning with his family, laughter and cheer abundant no matter their budget. Not about his family.

Not anymore.