Desolation
Qaynaat was the daughter of Iqbal uncle, my father’s best friend. I was 29 and she was only 22 when we got married.
Mine and Qaynaat’s relationship was not a healthy one, we were forced to marry each other because I was madly in love with her elder sister, Benezir.
Since I was a kid, I had known that someday Benezir and I would get married and deep inside I had always adored the dream of ‘us’ together.
At the age of eighteen, Benezir confessed her love for me and since then we started seeing each other, sometimes at the cafe, theatres, even we went for boating in the lake without our parents’ knowledge.
Considering that, we studied at the same college, even at the same semester our relationship grew stronger and stronger.
Two years ago, we got engaged, we’re so much in love, or maybe, I was the only one SO MUCH in love with her.
A night before our wedding she eloped, leaving behind a letter stating that she has other priorities in her life rather than getting married.
However, Iqbal uncle just to keep the reputation of their family intact got me married off to Qaynaat against both of our will.
Qaynaat and I used to share a cousin like bond before our marriage, I had never felt for her the way I felt for Benezir, infact after our marriage I started hating her until I came to know she sold all her funds and broke her fixed-deposit’s just to accumulate enough money to start my business.
She never wanted me to know about this because she believed that I would never accept that money from her.
I really felt ashamed of myself, though I had never assaulted her but still I had tortured her emotionally to the highest extent which was more painful.
But, I had started to grow feelings for her, the things which I hated the most about her now made me happy.
This feelings grew stronger and stronger until one day they turned into love. It was her birthday when I decided to confess my feelings for her...........but it was already too late.
Flashback
“Give two-hundred cubes of butterscotch chocolate” the shopkeeper gave me a weird look.... after all which stupid will buy so many chocolates.
Qaynaat loves chocolates and I would do anything to make her happy. On my way to home I bought a bouquet of red flowers for her.
I was sweating profusely out of nervousness, after all those days of blaming and yelling at her for everything she never did just to calm down my rage against her sister, would she ever accept my love for her?
Nevertheless, it was not the right time of having back thoughts and I rushed towards home.
“Qaynaat, tum kaha ho?” I called out asking her where she was. Getting no reply I proceeded towards our bedroom just to find my mother leaning against our bed sobbing uncontrollably while reading a letter.
I grabbed the letter from her hand while unconsciously praying to Allah hoping that the letter had nothing to do with Qaynaat. But, all my dreams shattered in front of my eyes the moment I started reading it-
Dear Zafar,
I have always loved you but deep inside I knew that you will never love me back. I wanted to see you happy so when you decided to start your business I wanted to become a part of it and your happiness without your knowledge.
But a part of you always looked unhappy and incomplete, I realized you still love HER, so I decided to free you from our marriage. I were never meant to be yours.
I hope someday you will find your true love. Tell my parents not to search for me. I am literally tired now.......so please everybody allow me to rule my life my own way.
Good Bye for ever.........
Yours never
-Qaynaat
My heart squeezed out my life. Everything felt numb. That day I found my true love but it left me already. I had searched for her everywhere but failed to find even a single trace of her.
After one week, a cop brought the lifeless, swollen body of Qaynaat rescued from a river.
She freed me indeed!
It has been two years since Qaynaat passed away, still the pain of loss feels so fresh. This lonely house, its rooms, even a mere showpiece cast back to the memories of her.
Every night I dream of her caressing me, soothing me from all the worries and miseries of life but everytime I wake up to realise that it was just another unreal dream.
