Bleak hope.

I feel it , it's a new feeling like the new ice cream flavor you've been waiting for, except it came like an omen. I'd rather feel empty than experience this, this displeasing, horrendous feeling is so overwhelming, it occupies the piece of my heart, the only piece left from last time we hugged, the only piece that reminds me of you.

Oh how i wish these nights were longer, i would be sitting in the dark, regretting the call you didn't answer, smelling the cologne left from the shirt you forgot on the bed. But in the end, after all those letters you sent me, those kisses you gave me, these seconds you spent with me, i'm not the one who's lying beside you, i'm not the one who got your love.

Regret is filling the cracks in my heart, and memories are ingraved on my skin, but it's ok because the sadness is kept away.

And then i see you walking down the street, with you new girl, she's chasing away the sadness in the night, the one you gave me everytime i was her, and i wish i never gave you anything because love is not lust, but you took for granted my love for you, it was overflowing, raining down the town, and still, after the rain there was no rainbow. Only thunder.

I will say that i'm fine, even though my heart is aching, and my limbs are shaking, i will welcome you with a smile when she can't do that, i will stay with you when no one's by your side at night, because that's what i deserve for hoping.