new start(revised)
Dear Diary,
Today is the day, today... I can be free. I will be free and move on for good. I have been sulking, regretting, depressing, and hating myself for the last 3 years but not anymore. Life is too short for that. I hope to start over again, be better, and love myself as if my life depends on it. One last time, I will visit my parents' grave and say my last goodbye.
Closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, I let out a big sigh. Putting my diary away I head out of my room. I look around these closed walls one last time as my memories rush before my eyes- all the laughter, all the tears, all the things we did while I had them by my side. Leaving here is so hard but I have to get out of here or else I can’t move on, I can’t live a happy life. I started to breathe heavily, panicking as all the emotions were coming back at the speed of light.
Tears ran down my cheeks, my chest heaving up and down. I have to get out of here, are the words I keep saying holding my chest. I have to fight this, I can’t lose. Not at least now. I will not let the guilt take over me again. I walk out of the house, more like running, not even glancing back. I am free at last, I said to myself. Feeling the cold breeze against my skin, sending chills down my spine reminding me that winter is here.
After I visited the cemetery, I hailed a taxi and headed to the airport. I am moving to South Korea. My father’s business partner and his childhood friend live there. I have known him my entire life, he is the closest thing to a family. He was devastated when the news came to him about my parents and wanted me to live with him. But I insisted on staying here where I can be near them and visiting their grave. I thought being here would make me believe they were by my side like before. All those memories kept me lost in thoughts that I didn’t even realize that we have reached the airport. I got off and walked inside thinking there was no turning back now.
Goodbye my home, Goodbye London.
Fresh air hits as the pleasant weather welcomes me to this foreign land. As I let myself lose in the new feeling when suddenly my phone starts to ring. I knew who it could be. There was only one person I knew here.
Hello, I speak the language with ease. It was what I was given by my late mother, you see she was from here. My parents' love story was like any other love. My father came here and circumstances had been their fate, they met and it was like love at first sight. Even though I wasn't very familiar with my literal mother tongue, I was getting the hang of it pretty well.
My child, have you landed safely? he sounded just like I remembered him. I nodded as if he could see me only to realize that he couldn't.
Yes, I answer back.
That's good, my child. I have to apologize for not being able to pick you up myself. I didn't know what to feel or say to that. I mean, he is a busy man. As far as I knew him, he would never do that unless it was important. So I couldn't really be sad about it, to be honest. But then again, I didn't know this place well. So I was kind of worried about that. And for that, I have forgotten that I haven't said anything for a while. But he beat me to it.
Don't worry my child, I did send someone to get you, though. He will give you a call when he's there. In fact, he should be there by now. Give me a call, if there is a problem, okay?
That was a lot of information and instructions to follow since I'm still new. I take my time and reply, of course, uncle. Thank you.
No problem, see you soon, my child. The call ends and I sigh as I look at the phone screen.
As I put the phone back in my back pocket it starts to ring again with an unknown number popping up. I answered without any delay.
Hello.
Hello, is this Miss Lane? said a voice that woke an interest in me quicker than I thought was possible. I was stuck with what I wanted to say. I realized it was a longer pause than I intended because he spoke further,
I have been sent to pick you up by MR. Lee Kwang Soo. Upon hearing my uncle's name I say, Uh yes... I am heading toward the terminal gate so I'll meet you there.
Okay great. I'll be holding a red rose bouquet.
Bouquet? I ask in confusion. Not that I wanted to know, it was just a reflex I guess. Now that I think about it, I probably just made it weird for him by asking. Maybe it was something sent by Uncle Soo to make up for his absence. Before he could say anything I quickly said, Okay, and hung up. I hope he doesn't take my sudden act offensive.
I quickly took my belongings and started walking and looking for the exit. Oh, there it is. I began scanning the area, looking in every possible direction for the red rose bouquet. It’s too busy at the airport today. But then something caught my eye.
The RED ROSE BOUQUET.
It was quite hard not to notice because it was held up high and maybe because that was the only bouquet there. Not to mention it was huge. I couldn’t really see the person holding the bouquet as he was hidden behind it. I carefully walked into the crowd, after a battle finally standing in one piece before the bouquet. To my excitement, I took the bouquet from the person without much thought. He was shocked at my sudden action, he took time to process, then finally asked, Miss Lane? I was about to answer, but then he took off the mask that he was wearing. I took one glance and I was mesmerized by how handsome he was. I had been staring for quite a while with wide eyes but he dragged me out of my daydream by waving his hand in front of my face. Oh God, that must have been embarrassing. I got flustered and shied away and answered in the process.
Yes.
Why must I clown myself like that? I thought, grabbing the luggage when suddenly he spoke, please, let me. He even sounds good in person and he is a gentleman. Thank you...sir, I say instead since I didn't know how to address him.
Call me Jimin. Park Jimin.
His name tasted weird in my mouth as I kept repeating it quietly and without noticing a smile plaster on my face.
All the ammunition I had about living here was gone just like that. Maybe it's a good thing to come here. Maybe.
