I don't know where am I, but the rain keep falling on the empty road. Just me and my car. I know, it's not okey to drive that fast when it's raining but I just want to escape from everything going far away wherever my eyes sees. I struggled in life, we all struggle, right? Sometimes I'm thinking... " Am I good enough?", " What's my purpose here?". It's okey to take a break from things, from humans. Our mind needs to forget things because if we would remember everything, it won't be good for ourselves... If you would ask about myself, I'm a simple girl who gets really easy irritated. I like to observe than socialising. I'm an introvert, enjoying books and creating programs with my brother when I'm free. I'm not good at expressing myself in front of a person, I start panick and faint. I'm healthy, It's just that... I'm anxious. I don't know what I'm afraid off, maybe beacuse our society has another perspective of us? They see you small, young, and that you can do everything because you don't have others things to worry about. I don't know how many times I heard,
" You are young and all life in front of you, you don't have others things to worry about". Yes, I have. I've spent all my life with depression, not because I didn't had things, or friends, or a good family who love me and support me. It's that... I know I can do it, and I want to fix a lot of things which it will be good for myself, a lot of thoughts that I know I can succeed, but then it's the other me, who looks at me and it telling me to give up, do not do nothing right now, to let it for tomorrow and sadness start dance around me and then I'm happy and then I get mad. I'm weird, am I?
I parked my car in front of the cafeteria and I turned off the engine. I let out a slow breath and grabbed my laptop and the umbrela, leaving the car and going inside. The smell of coffee and cakes made my stomach to make some noise. I can understand him, I didn't gave him food since yesterday at noon.
" An Iced coffe and a chocolate cupcake please" I said to the women who looked weird at me. I may look the same at myself since my hair it's wet and some it's sticked on my forehead. My grey hoodie had a mustard stain, and my jeans were cut in the knees. I moved in the corner of the room, at a long table and a sofa with blue pillows. I've put my laptop on the table and others things that I bought and I sat down on the soft sofa.
Hours start passing by, and the rain slowed down.The sound of my phone took me out from my work and I took it out from pocket.
Mom.
" When you come back, can you please buy some glue solutions for shoes?"
Me.
" If the store it's still open, yes."
Looking at the clock it was 13:21 pm, still having time to go grab the solutions and come back here to finish my work.
"Excuse me, can I let my laptop here, I will come back in few minutes" The women smiled at me and said that she would take care of it so I left.
I entered in the house, and go straight in the kitchen where mom was cooking spaghetti.
" Thank you, I thought it was closed and already spoke with your brother to go tomorrow in the morning". I smiled and sat on the chair yawning.
"I bought some detergents for clothes and kitchen, I don't know which is good. The store was on the way home".
After the small conversation I went to my room to change beacuse my clothes were wet, and jumped in bed after. I opened my twitter and start seeing posts from my University.
" We should have a party, we are all stressed."
"You should focus on getting money for charity and donate them untill December."
"Ugh" They already started?
The rain began again, a little harder this time, you couldn't see the other house's next to each others, it was like a smoke blanket. Waiting for mom to tell me when the dinner is done, I decided to grab my laptop and finish my work.
"Crap" I said out loud and run out my room, grabbing the keys for my car from the small fridge in the hallway and drive back to the cafeteria. I forgot my laptop.
***
My English is bad but I hope you'll enjoy this book. There will be 3 books. I'm looking forward to it.
AnonBZ
