Life Handing You Lemons
What is happening?
That was the first realization that hit her square in the chest.
Everything failed to make sense anymore.
She could see them and hear them but all she felt was this anger, this pain, this resentment...
Many times, she tried to literally walk that feeling off but still...
Dark thoughts plagued her, she seemed to find fault quicker that she ever did. She seemed to get angry quicker, to not listen because no one listened to her pleas too.
Eventually she lost her love for bikes, every day she ate but they started to taste a little bland than it did days before. Until she decided to put on a pants and lost any ounce of concern when she found it no longer fit her snuggly.
She lost interest to things that normally made her all giddy and fired up. She began to stop talking when she was so talkative before. She began to stop laughing for real. She began to feel so disconnected but was appalled to realize that she could still respond.
So she began to sleep longer.
Why? Why? Why? That one word that kept on hammering inside her mind.
Until one day, she woke up to this small yipping sound.
Her aunt got her this little puppy, barely a month old.
The first day the little pup slept in her bed, she stared at it all night.
‘What would she do with this?’
The next day, it seemed to hit her. She finally noticed the curly dark mane, short flat ears, and a pair of the brightest brown eyes she ever saw.
And so she named the puppy.
The puppy who (yes) barely ate anything because she just weaned.
The puppy her family tasked her to care for made her realize doing early walks, pee sessions at 3:00 AM in the dark yard, and puppy training, vet trips that never went easier were all for one reason.
To make her realize there was so much to live and laugh for and that this sweet thing would never survive without her.
And slowly she began to feel again, she began to truly laugh again, she began to work for this little puppy’s attention.
Everything seemed warmer then and finally in a long time, she felt at peace. Her demons were not gone, they would always be there but she realized that everyone has their own.
And now that puppy is 7 years old.
A good goofy girl who is a prankster, talkative, and a very intelligent creature.
And boy, am I proud that you are reading this.
Because that meant...
There is a WAY OUT of the void.
I survived.
It doesn’t have to be the same process of coping for you, BUT hold on.
Do not lose hope.
You are a warrior.
There is a way out.
You are not alone.
Thank you for reading.
Thank you for hearing my side.
