My opinion as a writer

". first of all, It was really rushed. add more scenery descriptions e.g like how and why the gods were visiting camp, blame Apollo and the after math of his trials is my advice. . second, loved how you made Piper roast out Hera, you could of made it into a whole debate though. . third, If Ares was surprised, I think from his personality from the actual books, Ares would have confronted Percy and through a few of private conversation he would have slowly show a softer side to Percy and Ben. . Fourth, a person who develops both reproductive system is called, realistically, and hermaphroditus individual. The Original Hermaphroditus was a result of an affair of Aphrodite which you could use to your advantage in this story and put Percy as one of her great-grandchildren. "