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Jahseh
I pull her off the floor putting her in the bed sighing. “Andrea I need you to stop doing this and talk to me” she winces at the peroxide opening her eyes slowly. “No-I-I-Jahseh I can’t” I put the bandage over her arm slowly, why can’t she tell me when she’s about to harm herself? The same reason I don’t want to tell her when I’m feeling my depression suddenly.
I rub her hands watching her “Andrea please, your health is important, you’re important” she smiles at me closing her eyes. “Open your eyes” she winces sitting up, opening her eyes slowly. “Jahseh I’m tired, let me sleep” she sniffs looking away from me. “I’m here for you Andrea, remember that” she motions for me to get in the bed with her, slightly looking broken.
Andrea is fixable, She’s loved, just have to show her my love in more ways than one. I can be an amazing person in her life or I can hurt her, just like her last. We’ve been together for eight months, but I still dwell on how she was treated. I use it as motivation, she’s trusting me to love and care for her.
Jared
I wish she didn’t talk about my burn like it didn’t matter, I was trying to cook for her, but she just yells at me and probably wishes I was dead. My girlfriend doesn’t love me, she loves what I can do for her. A smarter man would leave her, I’m blinded by my hope of healthy love. Maybe it’s embarrassing, but she still cuddles up to me and acts like she appreciates me at the end of the day.
My mom says it’s a shame for her son to allow himself to be disrespected everyday by someone who depends on me so hard. But I just know Aaliyah will stop, she has to. “Jared get up! I need my nail fixed! I broke it” I sigh getting up feeling my high be blown. I wanted to stop and enjoy relaxing, but I was wrong for that wasn’t I?
She grabs the keys and dangles them in my face as if I never heard her. Maybe she’ll leave me alone “Jared come on, stop sitting here, come onnnnn take me!!” I grab the keys leaving out the door. Rapping about being depressed is making me money, but I’m tired of this, the pain she causes me is benefiting her, I need to rebuild myself and my mental health.
Jahseh told me she wasn’t healthy for me as soon as she yelled at me for helping Andrea when she fainted. But I’m one year in with her, why would I leave her now? Everything she has is because of me.
If I get her to understand that then I’m sure changes will happen.
Jahseh
Andrea is still sleep, but I’ve been monitoring her breathing and stirring. Call it creepy, but I call it love. “Baby wake up?” Andrea shakes in her sleep and her arms start jerking. “Andrea wake up!!” I shake her, trying not to panic myself. This has happened few times before at my house, but everytime it happens she’s stressed.
I put cold water on her feet and hands noticing her come to. “Andrea?!” she stares at me with tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry” she hasn’t done anything. “Baby no, don’t be sorry for anything, not for this, and not for your coping habit, I’m going to help you get better again”
She hugs me tight, “I’m who you call when you cry ok? Even if I’m the reason the rain is falling” Andrea smiles against my chest hugging me tighter. I need her healthy again.
