Feel

“HEADS!” calls someone beside me right after I step out of my car. I look to my right, and sure enough, a ball is flying towards my head. ‘Great’ I thought right before the ball hit my forehead. I take a few steps trying to regain my balance from the impact of the ball to prevent my imminent fall. But of course, the fall was destined to happen, and conveniently enough a 9th grader was tying their shoe right in front of me so I trip and go crashing to the ground. Wonderful, just wonderful, what a way to start my eleventh grade. With my face on the ground and my shit all over the sidewalk. Like who the hell doesn’t have enough the common sense to move out of the middle of the sidewalk when tying their shoe! I look back at the kid I just tripped over and sure enough, he and his stuff are everywhere on the sidewalk as well. Well shit, I just crushed the kid.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. Some idiot hit me on the head with a ball and I kinda just lost my balance and tripped. I’m so so sorry, are you ok. Here let me help you with your stuff…” I knew I was ranting, but that’s what I do. I rant when I feel bad, even though it wasn’t my fault.

“Ya, ya, I’m fine” and the kid just picked up his stuff and walked off. What the fuck dude! I might have tripped over you but you were still in the way! I should have at least got some kind of apology…

Once again my internal rant was cut short by someone clearing their throat above me so I quickly picked up my stuff along with the ball that was still beside me and stood up to see none other then my friend Theo looking at me as if waiting for me to give him something. I then realized I still had the ball in my hand and that of course, Theo loves to kick balls and see where they go. So I put two and two together, turned around, and started walking towards the school with the ball still in my hand.

“Maddy wait up!” he says.

“Dude I’m just walking, catch up. I swear a snail could keep up better than you” I said with my trademark eye-roll. Theo saw that and just sighed.

“Look I’m sorry about the ball. Now can I have it back? My friends are wait…” I looked over finding it odd that he stopped mid-sentence to find him staring at me.

“Dude what the fuck, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were checking me out” Theo was a very average guy (by the looks of it of course) he has caramel blond hair that was always messy and never styled, brown eyes, really prominent cheekbones, and jawline, and under all his lose clothing you just knew he was pretty fit. If it wasn’t for the fact that I knew what he was really like I might even dare say he is attractive, not my type, but he could be attractive. Although like I said on his looks made him an average guy. Theo is damn weird. In middle school, we weren’t friends yet and he would annoy the shit out of me. Always a teacher’s pet, good at everything (except charming girls, trust me, he’s got no game) and he just loved to make it his job to annoy me like his life depended on it. In 9th grade, we became friends since he conveniently happened to be in almost all of my classes, and the teachers just loved to seat us next to each other. He started to have conversations with me and turns out he’s easy to talk to and knows how to make you feel better when you’re just not having a good day. So that’s how our friendship is, I get someone to talk to in class and he gets to annoy me (we might be friends now but I don't think he will ever stop annoying me).

Now back to where we were, I know for a fact that he isn’t checking me out because he seems to have a thing for all the bitchy girls in school. Something to do with a nice set of boobs. I don’t know, it’s a dude thing.

After what felt like forever he finally snaps out of it and says something. “Yo girl your hair! And your eyes...and your nose?! Whole shit did you pierce your lip! What the hell Madelaine! Did you have some kind of crisis this summer”

Oops, should have seen that one coming. He was expecting to see the same thing he did before the summer break, my long platinum straight blond hair, parted down the middle all even, no makeup, and the 2 piercings I have in each ear. So maybe his reaction was to be expected? I layered my hair, parted it at the side, and gave myself side bangs. Pierced my right nostrils with a silver hope and my lower left lip with a matching hoop. I also have finally put a bit of eyeliner and mascara on. But that’s not a big deal right? Most girls these days cake their faces with makeup! I swear it looks like I could run a nail down their check and scoop off their concealer. I looked back to my left at Theo and realized I still hadn’t given him my answer.

“Um, no?” He just lifted an eyebrow at that and waited for me to continue. Ugh, he’s so frustrating sometimes. “Ok, fine. I wanted to try something different. You know I’m kinda goth and into rock Theo. It’s all just looks I’m still the same person”

“Ya? Well, you don’t look like the same person Maddy. Come on, I thought you looked fine before.” Now I was kinda getting mad. Was I not allowed to change things up? Was I supposed to look like someone I’m not just so that people like me? I had to get away before I said something I regretted.

“Theo I know it’s different but you’ll get used to it trust me. Look I have to go and get my schedule, I don’t want to be late to class on the first day. See ya” And with that, I tossed him back his ball and jogged to the gym where I would get my schedule. There were about 20 tables set up in the gym, around 5 for each grade. Like every year each table, for each grade had a teacher at the back of it and a sign at the front indicating the letters of the last names found at the table. I lined up at the eleventh-grade table that was in charge of the letter “L” and waited for my turn to come.

As I was waiting in line I noticed I was getting a lot of strange looks, none of them looked too happy. What is everyone’s problem? I’m not even popular or that well known and everyone is looking with an air of disgust and disappointment. Hell, even the newbies are looking at me strangely and they know nothing about me!

It’s finally my turn to get my schedule. I tell the teacher my name, get my paper, and head off to find my friends. Although instead, I end up finding the last people I want to see right now. Elizabeth and her gang of goons. Also known as the popular girls, the ones that run the school, the ones that will someday be nominated for prom queen, blah blah blah, you get the point. Conveniently enough my friends are standing by the wall behind them, great, just great. I now have to walk beside the gang of goons. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but when the only memories you have with these girls are them trying to change you to “act the part of my hotness” (trust me their words not mine) or make me join them for something stupid, or even them cornering me in a hallway while they put me down saying I was a waste of beautiful hair and gorgeous eyes spent on a nobody, you kind of do want to avoid them at all cost, because they are nothing but bullies.

So I look down and try to squeeze by the side of their group to my friends. Unfortunately, I probably made it two steps when I heard Elizabeth’s annoying voice.

“Oh look at the poor thing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again such a waste of beauty on a freak” She might have bullied me for years, and I might be kinda used to it but do not! And I’ll say it again, do not! Stand it when people call me names! So I jerked my head back up and walked right over to where she was standing.

“What. Did you just call me?”

“A freak. And that is all you will ever be. It’s obvious, look at you, you’re a freak! And you don’t even have your looks to save you anymore you ruined your hair, pierced your face and now you look like a punk!” Everyone in hearing distance started laughing. I looked over towards my friends and they were all already looking at me. But that didn’t last they quickly diverted their eyes. They even dared to look embarrassed almost like they agreed with Elizabeth and were embarrassed by my presence! That broke my last straw. So I did and said something I never thought I would do.

“You know what Elizabeth, are you a freak?” I said as I started looking at my nails intently.

“Duh, of course not” Her voice might have sounded confident but I could see that she was confused as to what I was getting at.

“Well, then I’m proud to call myself a freak because I don’t want to be anything like the caked faced, bitch that you are” I then placed my index finger on her cheek and dragged my nail down her face. Yes I know what you’re thinking, that’s disgusting. Trust me, it is. But it did exactly what I thought it would do. I scraped the concealer of her face! Ha! Her hand went up to her face and she screamed bloody murder. Like come on girl, I just helped you take some of that shit off your face.

I just couldn’t stop laughing. She had a huge scratch down the side of her face and people could now clearly see all the makeup she wears. That was the most satisfying thing I have ever done. I was just about to walk over to my friends when I remembered what they did, or rather didn’t do. They just stood there and watched that bitch talk me down. I decided to march over to them and give them a piece of my mind. As I was about to open my mouth and ask them why they just stood there. Juliette, the kindest one of the group always there to make us feel better with her calm presence spoke up.

“Maddy, I’m sorry but Elizabeth is right. You kind of are a freak. I can hardly recognize you anymore, this is so not you. I’m sorry but until the old Madelaine is back I’m not sure we want you to be our friend anymore” I was hardly listening to what she was saying anymore. Do they also think I’m a freak? They don’t think I’m me? This is who I am. I wanted so bad to be mad at them, but all I felt was sadness. Sadness that they think I’m a freak. Sadness that they don’t truly know who I am. Sadness that they didn’t stand up for me. Lastly, sadness that they didn’t want to be my friends anymore.

I heard them walk away, and it was then I decided that I didn’t need any of these people anymore. I’ll change schools and start anew. New as myself and not who they wanted me to be. But as who I am.

Hiya guys! I know this first chapter was kinda long but I feel like it was needed to kinda kick off the story. I'm not sure how often I plan on updating this story. But if ya'll you like, comment and leave me a review I would be so grateful and it would motivate me to write more (even if you don't like it, I'll be motivated to change your mind). Please comment any questions you have. If y'all want pictures or something like a point form description of the characters let me know.

Anyways, I hope you liked it!