Hints of Resident Evil and Fallout.

"The first chapter is pretty short but of what I read I found it interesting, it's definitely not boring. It starts sort of slow, which I really like, the action is sort of muted and grim which I also like. I hate when stories start right in the action, I like a little build up. The intro is a little cheesy and I rated the story lower because not a lot happens in the first part and there are some inconsistencies and sort of black holes, there's a part where they're in a school then they're down a hole and I have no idea how we got to that point, there has to be more between those two things. I can see the author has it in their head and as just a lack of experience just glossed over it, it just takes time and practice to realise what's in your head needs to go down on paper because people can't read your mind. I liked the plot though, it reminded me a lot of resident evil with the strong female leads killing zombies in a tactical fashion and the grim aesthetic, a little fallout crept in. I don't know if that was intentional or not but the war with china and the bombs, maybe that's just a little too general but I liked it. Some thought went into that and I imagine more will be built on it with more instalments. The writing style is a little stunted, I feel like the description could use more work and this definitely needs a proof read, it needs some rephrasing I think, but overall it's a good start, it's legible and confident sounding but It needs rereading, try reading it out loud to yourself.. Grammar and spelling I'm afraid to say is the albatross of this piece, there are lot's of really noticeable spelling and grammar mistakes and a lot of it could have just been a job for spellcheck haha. So in my opinion it needs a good read through. I liked the feel, I could sort of see it as like an indie horror movie, I could imagine some of the camera angles, with that slow build up, just a group of people on a mission in a desolate world fighting monsters, it just needs a little more work, it needs that description, you need to put exactly what you see in your head on the page so everyone else can see. Overall it's not bad, and I wish you the best of luck with it."