amore e guerra

“I’m going to miss you.”

We were standing in the famous airport of Los Angeles, holding each other as tears streamed down our faces. My mother held me to her shaking form, crying for the supposed loss of her eldest daughter.

I’m not ashamed to say that I too cried. I’m an emotional person, okay.

“Mom, don’t cry. It’s only going to be for a year. I’ll be back before you know it and you’ll probably be wishing that I was far away from you. I’ll stick to you like a new born baby.” I laughed weakly, trying to inject some humour into the situation.

“If I had it my way, you would still be in my womb.” My laugh was stronger this time as I was truly amused by my mother’s sense of humour.

“Promise me you’ll be safe and well. If you want to come home, come. Don’t worry about anything but coming home. Call every day and I mean it Evangeline. Do not skip even one day or so help me divine beings, I will drag you out of Italy.” She removed me from her form, holding me by my shoulders, her intense gaze piercing into my hazel brown eyes.

“Yes mom. I promise to be safe and call you everyday and say if I want to come home, I will fly home and I will remember to eat and to wipe my bum and to take a shower and to clean my room and to—” She pulled me back into her form, a ladylike laugh floating out of her mouth.

“I’m going to miss your bad attempts at making jokes.”

I pulled back ready to rebuttal her statement but the look on her face and opening of her mouth interrupted me.

“Promise me that you’ll be safe Evangeline. I can’t afford to lose you.” Another year followed the path that the others made.

“I promise mom.” I whispered, giving her a final, tight squeeze before I detached myself from her. “I have to go now otherwise I’ll miss my flight. Tell Dad and Macy and Seb that I love them.”

“I will. I love you Evangeline.”

“I love you mom.” And with that, I took the first step on this new journey that led me away from everything that I knew, hoping that I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life.