What is your opinion?
Polowan!
"Polowan! Excerpt was written to establish a backstory for the character. Her five hundred year effort to obtain redemption from a powerful Ute Indian god called Senawhav will have stories set in the historic Gold Mine District of Colorado USA. Historically, Ute Indians would have visited some hot springs located here, although feisty older locals deny any such possibility. Traders, Indians, railroad people, miners, dance girls, Chinese, Irish, all these types of people are often depicted in Old West television series, nothing new here in Polowan's general back story, except we don't hear of Chinese Indian pairings as a historical feature in any of the Native American Nations's descriptions of their times with, for, or against newcomers of the 1600s - 1800's. In the late 1800's this area took more gold in just several years than the Alaska and California gold rushes combined. Steam engines replaced much beloved teams of donkeys (watch for SteamPunk storyline). Trains brought tens of thousands to the area, brought in timber, bricks, blasting supplies, steam engines and of course relayed millions in gold back off the mountain. (watch for gold heist storyline) It is feasible Chinese track layers could have been here. Tour guides tell us that there are enough tunnels (known as drifts) and shafts to stretch to the Pacific Coast of USA if laid out in a row... (Watch for underground action, like 1000 ft below the surface type underground). We know of one current independent privately held mine currently at very far lower than that, and Cripple Creek has discovered even more gold. They will be going down five miles. Polowan's story is important to our perceptions of women of her era, to our current relations to Colorado Native Nations, to our perceptions of what we've done to the environment here, to what our goals might become as our own era of time takes it's place on the historic timeline."
Hats off to Polly!
"There's an interesting story here and as a reader I was immediately drawn to Polowan. However, there is a lot of exposition up front for the reader as they are brought up to speed with her backstory. Suggest starting with the squabble with the other girl during which Polowan's backstory could be fleshed out. For example: The girl put her hands on her hips and sneered at Polly. "Hey slinky Chinky. Just who do you think you are, parading around in plaid shirts and skintight pants with a fancy hat?" Polowan sounds like a fascinating character - feisty, probably funny and very attractive. I certainly want to read more about her adventures!"
Needs some polish but a good start
"The writing style is pretty fluid, giving the reader a good sense of the main character's thoughts as the events unfold. More details about the location and Polly would help me visualise her world better, but I know that is hard to achieve in just one opening chapter.. Overall a solid start to what promises to be an interesting tale."
