On Loop
She woke up with a heavy heart.
Rose’s heart was beating a mile fast, and she couldn’t quite catch up. She couldn’t grasp what had just happened, it felt to her that she wasn’t there.
That dream...
It felt so real, it was so vivid in her eyes. She felt everything that transpired in her dream, and Rose couldn’t shake the feeling that her dreams were true and all she ought to believe was not her reality.
Trembling from fear, she looked at her hands. A tight knot squeezed her heart out at the sight of an unfamiliar yet familiar ring wrapped around her finger.
Rose was inside her room, she remembered well that she hasn’t changed the drapes or even the covers of her room. Disregarding the weird feeling she felt, she stood up and went outside her room.
She passed by her living room and saw a well-stacked cup and a bottle of wine standing in the middle of the coffee table. Their apartment has always been messy, now she’s just bewildered for the first time the room was tidy.
She could smell a pot of coffee being brewed and could hear the clatter happening in the kitchen, she could easily guess that someone’s cooking bacon. Disoriented and weirded out that she suddenly craved for coffee and bacon, she headed to the kitchen.
Her breathing hitched at this unfamiliar figure ransacking her kitchen, he had a lean figure and a tall stature, but his hair was curly and all over the place as he flipped the meat he’s preparing, and he’s not her Pierre, who is he?
She felt this ugly feeling in the pit of her stomach as time suddenly slowed down as the man in front of her looked at her way.
No holy fuck!
She knew this guy!
He was the man she loved! In her fucking dreams!
Rosetta was sweating cold, she couldn’t even fathom to look away from this dream-like figure right in front of her. Never in her wildest dream that she wished to wake up in her apartment with the man she just dreamt of to be here in the flesh.
She didn’t even think of ever waking up and replacing her Pierre with a man she never knew in her entire life.
She couldn’t help but shiver as she remembered the last thing she saw in her dreams.
His eyes was the most enigmatic thing she ever saw, the way he devoured her appearance was enough to make her heart tug little strings as his eyes slowly melted at her sight. It was an out of this world experience as he looked at her way, the way his lips curved upwards as laughter erupted from him.
He’s Noah Emigue fucking Santiago. Rosetta’s dream guy.
//
Could it be that she’s still dreaming? Rose pinched hands and bit her tongue, the pain was real, but it was also the same from her dream before she woke up.
Rose was starting to get scared, she wants to go back to her lover’s arms. It was not dreamy anymore and it’s starting to really dawn on her that this was a nightmare dressed in this beautiful life she could have had.
If this was a dream: (1) this is not what she wants and (2) this is not her desire.
What she had with Pierre was enough for her, she shook her head, it was not because she was with Pierre but the life she had was what she dreamt of; she had a high paying job; her family is doing well; her friends are all in a good place.
Remembering the horrible transitions in her dream, she felt this dreadful sting electrocuting her whole being as she clenched her hands in a fist, she didn’t want it for her immediate loved ones.
She would never allow it.
//
“Rosie, come on breakfast.” Noah carried their plate to the breakfast nook as he made the final touches for their breakfast, Rose was in awe as she watched him pour coffee for her before finally sitting down in front of her.
She didn’t notice the blooming giddiness inside her chest as the smell of coffee wafted her whole being. She’s like a different person as she glazed her sight to the simple meal Noah prepared.
Weird was an understatement of the year for Rose, she was never a fan of breakfast and she wouldn’t even dare to drink coffee. She always had tea in the morning and her love of her life: brunch, that’s what she was hardwired for. Not this kind of breakfast, it was never her thing.
Rose was internally grimacing, not wanting to decline Noah’s invitation for breakfast; she sat in front of him. His smile was making her feel things, she felt this warm fuzzy feeling making a blanket around her heart.
Rose couldn’t help but smile at this big gush that has overtaken her over.
Not wanting to disappoint this stranger in front of her, she grabbed the utensils that Noah handed over to her. She was staring at the bacon for a second, she could feel the man looking at her way and without a second thought she bit on the bacon strip.
Munching on her food, she looked up and looked at Noah. He was intently looking at her, with a cool loving gaze mirroring his eyes, it made her blush. With a contented smile on his face, he started to dig into his food.
“You’re passing on coffee? That’s impossible Rosie.” A hint of playfulness and disbelief could be noticed on his handsome face, they were both done eating and a few clipped conversations were running at the breakfast table. She intended to give short answers in order to divert questions that the answers were unknown to her.
And Rosie felt her soul internally protest, she was so sure of herself that she’s not a fan of that beverage. She had this sudden urge to give in to Noah’s remark, she shouldn’t make him feel alienated or weirded out to her.
Cupping the mug on her hands, she took a quick whiff of the coffee and felt her soul warm to the beautiful aroma of the dark hot drink. Rose gingerly blew on her cup and hesitated at the last second when she was about to sip.
“Are you alright babe?” Noah looked so worried for Rose, she tried to brush off the inevitable disgust she would feel and go for it already. It’s not like coffee could kill her, but she also heard that too much coffee is bad for your health.
Scared that she might just get Noah all worked up, she finally drank the contents of her cup. Her first initial reaction was: Fuck I am alive.
She loved the familiar bitter taste of coffee swirling around her mouth, making it seem like she always drinks coffee her entire life. Is she?
“By the way babe, when are we going to tell the news to our parents?” Noah asked nonchalantly.
Rose was puzzled at his question, no shit about that. She couldn’t grasp the concept of what is happening around her, all her beliefs seem to contradict her.
Pierre was nowhere around the apartment, and an estranged man she never met in her entire life, aside from the dream she had this morning, was now inside this room with her calling her babe and it seems that her dreams were true.
But how?
“What news?” Rose tried to cooly ask what news, but it failed miserably even on her own ears. She knew to herself that she couldn’t fool Noah that she has no idea of what is happening around her.
But she has this itching idea at the back of her head, she just couldn’t entertain the idea that she’s...
“Silly, of course about our engagement Rosie.”
Now that he said it, she remembered she dreamt of that moment.
Noah on his knees, here inside this apartment, asking her to marry him. She cried and couldn’t contain how lucky Rose is in this cruel world she had found someone she calls her home.
But everything about Noah is just a dream. Not the reality she knew. Not the reality she believes in.
Pierre was the one she’s with.
Frustration washed over Rose as she tried to escape this dream, but seconds had passed but she was still there in front of the man she loved in her dreams. She wanted to go back to Pierre, her love of her life.
Noah smiled at her, he seemed to understand her in a way and let the news slide for a while. “Maybe let’s just celebrate on our own babe, don’t you think that’s fun?”
She’s in trouble, Rosetta could already tell that to herself. She’s conflicted whether to tell Noah that he’s not the one she’s engaged with. But the ring says otherwise.
Rose’s finger was wrapped around Noah’s ring, not Pierre’s.
Sighing, as she looked at the beautiful knot wrapped around her that screams so much of Noah Emigue, she couldn’t help but wonder what if this is her reality.
What if...
//
“By the way, Elliot called, he’s going to pick you up.”
“For what?” Elliot?
She knows Elliot Marco Ilagan, he’s her best friend in high school. They almost dated, but then she met Pierre, which is Elliot’s older brother. And history speaks for itself.
“Did the wine hit you hard babe? You guys have some meeting to attend to for your new client.” Noah looked worried at Rose, trying his best not to question her odd behavior.
Rose remembered drinking wine before she slept, she remembered celebrating her engagement with Pierre; which is also a weird coincidence that she’s also engaged to Noah.
“Oh that.” Rose was sure as hell that Elliot and her were not working together, Elliot was working for a big publishing house. While Rose was working for a world renowned beauty magazine and they never worked together at all.
And a sudden euphoria hit her, making her recall her dreams. It seems that her questions are already answered by her dreams, except for the question why she is living in this dream.
Elliot and Rose worked together as a junior-editor for this well-known publishing house in the country, and they just got a client and their superior asked both of them to meet this faceless high profile writer from the internet.
It was a big deal for them, might as well live this life for a day then. Live a life she never imagined she could have.
“Let’s get ready for work babe?” Noah has this calming aura around him, making her believe in everything that spouts from him, she wouldn’t even dare to ask him questions. It’s just a feeling inside her that she and Noah are harmonious in every little damn thing that they did.
//
“I’ll get you your usual Rose,” A playful smile was plastered around Elliot’s face, it felt so pleasant to see a familiar face around. But Elliot seems to be a bit more distanced compared to their usual dynamic, he doesn’t carry his usual charming smile.
She even caught his best friend very upset as he impatiently slammed his fists as he honked his way around the 8 am traffic in the city. But his mood lifted up when they went inside this small cafe found in the heart of the city.
She knew that Elliot loves coffee, which made her smile, it felt like home seeing Elliot in his natural habitat and made her forget that her best friend was not his usual self.
And a weird thing surged for a second when she first saw Elliot in this dream, her heart skipped a beat seeing him standing in front of the door, hands in his pocket. She left like a schoolgirl, as he looked so much like the ‘boy everyone wants to be with’ it felt like a familiar feeling to her.
Tempted to refuse coffee, for the second time, but the thought of saying no made her body say otherwise; she hates to admit it to herself but she loves coffee more than she loves tea.
Elliot sat in front of her, she wanted to ask questions so she fired away with no regards of her doubts. “Where’s Pierre?”
“What? You never ask where my brother is, what’s the sudden interest Rosetta?”
“What do you mean I never ask? I’m dating Pierre, remember?” Elliot guffawed in his seat, making Rose crunch her nose. She’s serious.
“Rose my love, I’m the one you dated in high school. Remember?” He rolled his eyes, as if he was explaining this to her like a five year old kid.
“We didn’t work out, that’s why we settled for friends. And you never liked my brother, how could you ever date him.” There was a feeling inside her chest that she did love Elliot for a time, and the fire had never died for them. Maybe it was the reason why they were such good friends now.
Hearing it from her best friend still stunned her, she knew Elliot, her best friend would never lie to her and she just couldn’t believe that her dream was taking shape into her reality now.
Even though her dreams had given her everything she had to know about her relations to everyone she knew.
Was her love for Pierre a figment of her imagination? Just a dream?
“But if you want, we could have dinner with my brother tonight. I heard he’s in town.” Elliot couldn’t hide the excitement in his tone, he’s teasing Rose and he loves to do that to his best friend.
Elliot still has an on-going ship for her and his brother. If only they never dated, he would totally, totally, hook them up
“Can we?” Rose was hopeful to see Pierre, wishing that this isn’t true.
“You’re serious about that? You just called me last night that Noah proposed to you.” Elliot was shocked at Rose’s initiative.
Confused at his reaction, she wanted to ask why.
“Okay, shit, let me just tell Pierre then.” Elliot brushed his hair upwards, suddenly seeing the tense side of her friend. But she couldn’t understand what is truly happening to her life right now.
Maybe seeing Pierre could give her answers.
//
“Are you sure you’re alright babe?” Noah was at the other side of the line, Rose felt guilty not telling Noah her worries were about, but she has to do something to clarify what is actually happening.
“Well yes, but Elliot and I will go out for dinner, is that alright?” She already texted this matter to Noah, thus the reason why her finance called.
“Do you want me to join you guys?” Rose was shocked at Noah’s boldness to ask, she had no idea how to refuse Noah’s wishes; it was all in her body system to never say no to him.
A rhythm that flowed through her naturally.
Chuckling from the other side Noah pointed out that it was alright if Rose said no. Sighing out of relief, Rose says that it’s alright for Noah to join them tonight.
Internally slapping her big stupid mouth, how could she betray herself? Her mouth has a mind of its own and there’s no way to stop.
“Okay, I’ll see you tonight then. Love you babe.” Rose was taken aback, she was not sure how to answer back. Back it came out of her mouth like a reflex when she answered I love you to Noah.
//
Rose was fumbling her fingers as she awaits for Pierre’s arrival, she was not alone. Elliot was in front of her talking about their meeting that day, everything felt natural for her, how she knew everything around her work and whatnot was beyond her comprehension. And Noah was sitting beside her conversing with Elliot about work.
She’s still baffled and couldn’t quite understand if it was Pierre she dreamt of and Noah was the real deal. She couldn’t answer her own questions. Everything felt surreal.
With how crazy her work was, and the constant recalling of her dream. Rosetta suddenly has this theory that all she dreamt about was Pierre and not Noah.
It could be, why else would she ever be confused with her life. This is not a perfect life, but she has everything she could ever ask for.
Everything felt like the movies the second she glanced at the entrance of the restaurant, there he is, in his all natural state of glory, emitting this alpha aura all over the place was her Pierre.
How could she ever think that Pierre was a dream.
He looked so majestic in every aspect, his hair, his clothes, his vibes. Everything around him was what she always dreamt of for herself.
But that is the man she loves, she knew it to herself and she wasn’t fooling around. It’s not a dream to her.
Seeing him walk across the room, Rose felt her breath slowly hitch, the world around her was slowly fading and Pierre was the only one that matters the most.
“Elliot you dumbass, what blind date are you talking about?” Pierre has this glint of mischief as he looked around their mini group, his tone made her snap back from all the dilly dallying she was painting in her mind.
“That’s Rose, your best friend and dating your friend Noah. You’re full of shit bro.” Pierre fist bumped Elliot and sat beside his brother. Rose was lost for words. She couldn’t believe what’s in front of her.
Pierre is here in the flesh, no hint of that crazy gooey love eyes Pierre used to look at her. It was just not what she expected. They started to order for dinner and casually talked throughout the night.
But Rose was still waiting for Pierre to recognize her, that she’s the love of his life, and not Noah. Failing miserably, her heart sank at the reality that Pierre Mason...
Was just a dream.
She lifted her hands up calling the attention of their waiter, asking for any liquor available and bringing it immediately.
She couldn’t accept the reality that Pierre does not love her in this lifetime, that all she felt was not the reality she believed in. How could she be fooled by a dream?
A dream so real, it made her believe it was the reality.
“I promise to love you in every universe there could be.”
What a hoax, she caught a glimpse of the bottle the waiter was serving her. On Loop. Not giving a second glance what’s around her, she hastily snatched the bottle away from the server and asked for the whole bottle instead.
Drinking from her glass she tried to wash away those thoughts, maybe that’s the reality. That she and Pierre are not together, and maybe it was all just a dreamt about Pierre and Noah was her reality.
Rose was so confused about everything, when Elliot and Noah left at the table for a quick break. Rose unabashedly asked Pierre the question that kept resurfacing in her mind, “Don’t you love me?”
Desperate to make herself still believe that everything was just a dream.
But she almost cried when she saw that beautiful dashing smile that Pierre usually saves for her, that was her Pierre, but it only lasted for a second.
Shaking his head, telling her that she already had too much, broke her heart into pieces. How can Pierre do that?
How could those words break her into a million pieces.
She excused herself to the bathroom and quickly searched where Noah is. She’s really making a fool out of herself.
Accidentally, she bumped into Noah. With no second guess, she tiptoed around and grabbed him and circled her arms around him, she tried to clear her head of all those thoughts of Pierre and remembered how much she loves Noah.
She loves Noah Emigue.
“Come on drunk lady, let’s get you home.”
Not Pierre Mason.
//
Rose woke up in the morning with a heavy heart, a sudden flood gates of the memories that happened that night made her wake up.
But was suddenly disrupted when a figure beside her bed snuggled tighter onto her, her eyes welled at the sight of the man. Making sure that she was in the right state of mind, she walked past her bed and checked their apartment.
Scattered at the middle of their table was a bottle of wine. She looked at the beautiful bottle and that made her confused as she looked at it.
It says:
On Loop
A Parallel Universe
A Wine of
Bordeaux, France
est. 1997
And like a clockwork to her body, she felt unsure what is real to Rosetta Steele.
