A story that pulls you in!

"MicMac: I am intrigued by the characters already! I love the names and the mannerisms they have. The way you describe the scenery is impressive, not overdoing it where it slows down the rest of the story, just enough for me to picture and fill the rest in with my imagination. Right off the bat, though, I notice some missing commas, ex: "...as if to engulf the scene before him[,] 'A vast and..." "...and his consort, the Duchess Clarvita[,] nodded..." "...favorite concubine[,] Astrada, her eyes cast..." "...only the individual[,] visual sharpness of the..." "In purgatory[,] two giant discs... the shadowed colors of flame[,] dominated the sky." How you write this really is beautiful so far, the way you begin with a pretty depiction of a ruler and his kingdom, then the otherworldly landscape of Purgatory, leading to a dark depiction of terrified, condemned souls."